Tuesday, March 24, 2020

“I’ll be heading back to my cabin now, ladies. Thank you for dinner,” the girl said tiredly.
“The pleasure is ours. You sure are a riot, Dr. Marino!” 
The girl slowly waved her friends off before walking away. She cringed at the sound of the muffled music playing just outside. 
“My brother better not be in that study of his,” she said to herself as she walked through the silent halls. 
The eerie silence filled the girl's ears. Opening the door to her cabin, she walked over to where her brother was. 
“Ivan? Brother, you missed dinner. Are you feeling alright?” the girl called out to her brother cautiously.
“I’m alright, Evelyn. I’m simply feeling a bit-”  A muffled yawn sounded loudly from behind the study door. 
“Tired?” Evelyn piped in. 
“Precisely. You seem way too chuffed, sister,” Ivan chuckled. 
A comfortable silence hung in the cabin, a silence that was practically begging to be broken. 
“Well,” Evelyn started, “I’m off to bed. Care to join?” 
Evelyn waited for a response, but nothing followed.  Evelyn laughed to herself, knowing how tired her brother was. She felt pleased knowing she would get some rest tonight, now that Ivan had abandoned the typewriter for the time being. 
She eased herself under the covers, cocooned like a caterpillar in its chrysalis. Evelyn drifted to sleep without too much on her mind.

It felt like Evelyn closed her eyes for merely a moment before she felt the ship jerking her violently out of her peaceful slumber. Yelping, she hit the wood floor. 
CLANG ...CLANG…..CLANG 
The piercing sound of the warning bell sliced through the thick cold fog. Bolting up from the floor, she rushed to the cabin door. She swung it open and raced down the dark hallway. 
God! Is the electricity out? She stumbled awkwardly without the guide of the light through a labyrinth of hallways and out onto the deck.
The second she made contact with the open air, she felt a cold breeze blow past her pale skin. She shivered. A grown man in uniform frantically ushered Evelyn towards the edge of the ship. 
“Whoah, what is going on here?!”  the doctor screamed angrily. He was scared and oblivious to the danger. 
“Please, just get into lifeboat number three,” the man pleaded sadly, handing her an orange life jacket. Sensing the tone in his voice, Evelyn obeyed. 
Dr. Marino stepped carefully into the half-full lifeboat. 
Bloody hell, Evelyn shuddered.  
The cold metal of the unhoused seat bit at her skin as she sat down. Chills went straight up her spine. 
Screams and cries circled from the deck next to her when the ship started to get closer and closer to the cold, deep-blue ocean. Evelyn felt herself being lowered into the sea until the last moment; the boat was dropped. 
The girl’s mind went into a frenzy as she took a mental note of the damp wood paddles on either side of her. 
“PICK UP A PADDLE NOW, AND ROW!” a voice screamed from the other side of the boat through the badly offbeat music. 
Evelyn almost instantly located the paddles. She was prone to do what she was told, mostly because she didn’t want to die. Not yet to say the least. She had been in many tough situations that challenged her; she could handle this. 
Flares were thrown into the air, lighting up the dark sky.  After some time passed rowing, her numb arms felt like they weighed a million pounds.  She couldn’t bring herself to look back; she didn’t want to see the pale bodies floating over the dark water or the monstrous ship that ruined her comfortable life. 
That’s when the girl started to realize what was going on fully. Her brother never came out of his room. 
Ivan sank with the ship.
Evelyn felt horrible. He was the pure foundation to who she was today, and now he was gone. After much thought, she let herself release the emotion building up in her chest. She released a small sob that could barely be heard over the pain and crying of the other passengers on the lifeboat. 
Ivan… is dead, Evelyn thought. 
That one phrase repeated in her head on and on. She felt as though a piece of herself was ripped from her body. 
Taking in a deep breath, Evelyn shakily grasped onto the paddle handles with her splintered hands, suddenly determined to get to safety. I can do this, Evelyn thought.  Adrenaline coursed through her, making her more determined to survive.
The hours she had just spent rowing for her life disappeared. She disregarded the numbness of her limbs and pushed onward.  All she could concentrate on was a middle-aged woman screaming in the front, standing and motivating the ones who were rowing.
“I see lights!” a voice sounded. 
Evelyn heard the sound of a horn being blown. 
“A ship!” the doctor exclaimed out loud. 
Feeling a wave of hope and relief flying over her pink (almost purple) face, everyone on the small boat stood from their seats and called for help. Not only did her face light up, but everyone else seemed happy as well. For now, she finally felt safe. 


“When I asked to use the restroom on the Carpathia, I saw how bruised and beaten my hands were. I had to individually pick every single splinter out of my hand with metal tweezers,” the girl announced to the reporter.
“Tell me, any loss of family?” The curious reporter held his tape recorder next to the girl’s slightly flushed face, eager to continue his investigation on the disaster that killed thousands. 
Hesitant to respond, she felt her mood falter. “Yes. My brother,” the girl said. 
She mentally prepared herself for any more touchy questions.
“Yes... and your name, Miss..?” The man asked, now less interested and ready to move on. 
“My name? Evelyn. Evelyn Marino.” 




-Eve Oppy











11 comments:

  1. Something I noticed that I really loved was the figurative language. The figurative language really brought me into the story by using metaphors. A metaphor that was used was, "After some time passed rowing, her numb arms felt like they weighed a million pounds." This really helped me understand what the main character is going through because sometimes I feel the same way.

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  2. I think that the central idea is to try to think clearly when you're panicking. "The girl’s mind went into a frenzy" to "That’s when the girl started to realize what was going on fully."

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  3. I love the way that you made your story feel like it was actually taking place in 1918 by using slang. One example is the word "chuffed" which isn't used much anymore. When I first started reading I thought the historical allusion might have been referring to the titanic. But, by the time I finished I realized it was the Carpathia that you were alluding to. I did need to look up the Carpathia to see when it sank, but other than that I could tell exactly what was going on in your amazing story.

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  4. I really liked how I could feel the emotions throughout the story. I started to realize this was about the titanic half way through the story when the story said "Screams and cries circled from the deck next to her when the ship started to get closer and closer to the cold, deep-blue ocean." Although I didn't know about the ship Carpathia, so searched it up.

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  5. I really liked how I can Feel your emotions. The figurative Language was great. I also want to know the history so I looked up the ship. "Evelyn almost instantly located the paddles. She was prone to do what she was told, mostly because she didn’t want to die. Not yet to say the least. She had been in many tough situations that challenged her; she could handle this" . I love this part it's like I can feel your emotions. Overall great Eve!

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  6. I liked how you put a lot of emotion in this story. I'm pretty sure you were talking about the Carpathia because you said "Screams and cries circled from the deck next to her when the ship started to get closer and closer to the cold, deep-blue ocean". Another reason I thought you were talking about the Carpathia is because you kept saying "ship". You used a lot of described writing Liked when you said the deep cold blue ocean. over all good job!

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  7. I liked the posh names you used for your characters. I also liked the way you described the inside of the ship, like the hallways and cabins. "She stumbled awkwardly without the guide of the light through a labyrinth of hallways and out onto the deck." I also liked the dialogue between the characters in the beginning.

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  8. I really liked how you used lots of figurative language in the story for example, " the pale bodies floating over the dark water or the monstrous ship that ruined her comfortable life." Even though you didn't say the time period of history directly from all the language and descriptions of words I felt like I was almost in the story. Great job!

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  9. I liked the emotions it made me feel like when you said "Screams and cries circled from the deck next to her when the ship started to get closer" it made me feel scared

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  10. I like how You where very descriptive and you also used the language of the time. like the "i'm off to bed," not going to bed and "chuffed," not whatever a modern equivalent of it is.

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  11. I noticed all the emotion running through the story, such as, “Evelyn laughed to herself, knowing how tired her brother was.’’

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