Have you ever
discovered a hobby that you couldn’t live without? I lived my life for 11 years
not realizing there was a missing puzzle piece. Not realizing that I could be
doing something different, but I wasn’t. That little puzzle piece was
considered kayaking.
I started kayaking
last summer. But it’s not that simple. As all of us finished shoving and
cramming our last suitcases into the trunk of the car, we hit the road. After about an hour of
impatient waiting, we had finally arrived. We made our way down the steep,
windy driveway until we arrived at a small little wood hut, deep in the woods
of Paradox Lake. This cabin was owned by one of my mother’s former work
friends. It is one of the cutest little lakes you will ever lock eyes with. It
was a very long lake, yet it was skinny. The Sun reflected off the crystal
clear water like a mirror. The Sun was beaming down on me, and I started to
feel sweat riding down my forehead.
Before I even had
the thought of putting my swimming trunks on, I saw my brother already off and
riding on his kayak. He looked like a child lost at sea. I was able to see the
entire lake from where I was located. It felt like staring into a painting. I
felt like a king atop my palace. The pleasant aroma of wood shot up my nostrils
after I walked inside. After I located the bathroom, I threw on my swimming
trunks and rushed out the door. I took in the beauty of the forest during my
stroll to their own personal dock. The wood creaked like a bird as I made to
the end of the dock, and I jumped right in. My body scrunched up right as I
made contact with the water; it was very chilly water. As I lay afloat in the
water, I noticed my brother was still off and kayaking. I did not have the guts
to go out that far where the mysterious water would lay below me. After my
brother was done, he walked up to me and said that I should try to kayak. I
firmly said no. There was no chance that I would confront my extreme fear of
deep waters and even make an attempt to kayak. Well, I had the wrong mindset at
the time.
After about an
hour of my brother bugging me about being afraid to kayak, I finally gave in
and told him that I would try it. And boy did I! Once I started paddling, the
missing puzzle piece fell right into place. It felt like something that should’ve
been done a while ago. It was remarkable! Not many words could describe how it
felt. I was off and gliding through water. I layed in my kayak for a minute,
gazing upon the beauty that I had discovered. I went up through a very tiny bay
and paddled around an island full of green. I didn’t want to stop. The pain in
my arms from all the paddling was blocked out from the immaculate feeling in my
mind. I might never experience something that felt so great. Once the cabin
dissapeared, I was not worried at all. That is the magic about kayaking. You
can just retrace your footsteps. It was an almost indescribable moment.
Kayaking is the complete package. I finally made my way back until I saw the
wood cabin atop the steep, green hill. Kayaking is a crucial arm exercise. It
is fun. But it is also very relaxing.
Fast forward to
today, and kayaking is very involved in my life. But it couldn’t be done
without this experience. That is why life isn’t a journey if you don’t try new
things.
-Dylan
I liked how you used different explanations from your sentences, like this "It felt like staring into a painting. I felt like a king atop my palace," this is aa very different type of writing I haven't seen on these stories before. I feel like it connected with the reader more, because everyone knows what a painting looks like, but not everyone knows the feeling of kayaking.
ReplyDeleteI like how you were able to use enough sensory language to make me be able to see what was happening, but not enough describing words to make it seem boring. I also like how you were able to word the story so that the central idea was there the entire time, but not very obvious. "There was no chance that I would confront my extreme fear of deep waters." to "I didn’t want to stop."
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of being absolutely terrified of something then someone pressures you to do it. Then once you try it, you love it. I also loved how you made your life look like an incomplete puzzle just waiting for that final piece. "I lived my life for 11 years not realizing there was a missing puzzle piece."
ReplyDeletewhen you wrote "It felt like staring into a painting." it really convinced me how nice the lake looked. It sort of foreshadows your enjoyment of the lake, with you already being drawn towards it.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good writing piece, Dylan. I felt as if I was there with you, you did a really good job on hooking me into the story. When you wrote "I did not have the guts to go out that far where the mysterious water would lay below me". You did a great job describing how scared you were of deep waters and kayaking in them.
ReplyDeleteI can really connect with you in the beginning "Have you ever discovered a hobby that you couldn’t live without?" The hobby for me was horseback riding, and I can't imagine how it was like my life before I started horseback riding. I really likes the way you added in a lot of detail and used mature vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteI think the lesson in this story is that it's good to try new things. I really like how you explained what you felt when you started kayaking. "Once I started paddling, the missing puzzle piece fell right into place. It felt like something that should’ve been done a while ago. It was remarkable! Not many words could describe how it felt." I also liked how you started the introduction by asking the reader a question and hooking them to the story.
ReplyDeleteI think that the lesson is that sometimes, it might take longer to find that one thing you enjoy but once you do, you will know it. "I layed in my kayak for a minute, gazing upon the beauty I had discovered." it shows that once you find the thing you enjoy very much, you will know. I like how you add a lot of sensory language and how I could picture many things.
ReplyDeletenice job the beginning of the story had very mature vocab and detailed writing and it pulled me in to the story and i like going up to the lake to so it maked ,me want to read it more
ReplyDeleteone hobby I could not live without is running it helps me mentally as well as physically. I like how you are discrimination your surrounding and how you felt It is one of the cutest little lakes you will ever lock eyes with. It was a very long lake, yet it was skinny. The Sun reflected off the crystal clear water like a mirror. The Sun was beaming down on me, and I started to feel sweat riding down my forehead¨.
ReplyDeleteI think that the central idea is to try new things. I'm always hesitant to try new things, but it's a great learning experience. I really liked all the detail you put into your writing. My favorite sentence was, "It felt like staring into a painting" Every time a go to a lake I get that same feeling.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you made the central idea about trying something new, and how you wrote about your first experience. I like where you said "once I started paddling, the missing puzzle piece fell right into place". Excellent job!
ReplyDeleteI like how you started the story with a question to hook the person,and I think the central idea is that its good sometimes to try something new,"once I started paddling, the missing puzzle piece fell right into place"
ReplyDeleteThe central idea is that trying new things is always a good thing, even if you may not like it afterwards. It's always an experience that you can tell about in the future. Something I like about your story is your sensory language. " I felt like a king atop my palace. The pleasant aroma of wood shot up my nostrils after I walked inside." This shows how you described how the cabin smelled as you walked in.
ReplyDeleteYour story reminds me of when similarly, I was scared to go canoeing! When I was at a summer camp when I was 7 I was always too afraid to try canoeing with the rest of the kids, so I always stayed behind and threw rocks into the lake while everyone else had fun. When I finally worked up the courage to try it I learned- just like you that It wasn't all that scary."There was no chance that I would confront my extreme fear of deep waters and even make an attempt to kayak." I liked this quote because it really shows how your feeling.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite hobby is football and like dylan I did not know it was as fun. But it is so I think the main idea is go outside your comfort zone like what dylan did with kayaking.
ReplyDeleteGreat sensory language Dylan, "The pleasant aroma of wood shot up my nose as I walked inside." I believe everyone has a distinct smell from their past that sticks with them. Reading this reminded me of my own past. The sense of nostalgia really boosted this piece. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteDylan the piece is awesome. I really love the sensory language in the quote "The pleasant aroma of wood shot up my nostrils after I walked inside." I love this quote as it reminds me of when I played football. I suited up and smelled the aroma of grass and flowers.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt lives on a lake. We go kayaking all the time and it is so fun. I love how detailed it was and the line "The wood creaked like a bird as I made to the end of the dock, and I jumped right in." I love how you connected the sound of the wood and the sound of a bird.It was easy to picture in my head.
ReplyDeleteThe central idea is to try new things and see if you like them because they could be your missing puzzle piece. I like when you say "That is why life isn’t a journey if you don’t try new things. "it tells me that if I don't try new things I could miss the chance of having fun.
ReplyDeleteI love kayaking too! I liked how you used great details to describe the lake."It is one of the cutest little lakes you will ever lock eyes with. It was a very long lake, yet it was skinny." This gave me an idea of what the lake had looked like.
ReplyDelete