At some point, we
have all recorded something. I really like to record videos. So when I realized
that youtubers also like to record videos, I decided to try being a youtuber.
My first video on youtube was unusual. It was me trying out some candy.
“Here you go,” my
brother said as he handed me the small, delicious, and sugary purple cube. It
was a sour head but not really sour. As it went into my mouth, I knew this was
really good. The flavor mixed in with the sourness, and they worked perfectly
together. I savored it as long as I could until it got smaller and smaller,
then gone.
Next was another
sour head, it was a sticky, blue ball full of sourness. When I tried it, the
sourness got to me. It felt like time was slowing down, and my tongue was stinging
a lot. I really wanted to spit it out, but I didn't. I kept on pushing, and
then I finally swallowed it. It was one big journey in one tiny, sour ball.
The final candy we
tried was a sour gummy worm. It was blue at the front and slowly faded to red
at the end. It felt rubbery, and as soon as I opened the bag, I knew this was
going to be delicious. The smell of it was sweet, and as soon as I tasted it,
it was absolutely marvelous. The blue raspberry was perfectly mixed with the
cherry. The texture was like a gummy, and it wasn't sour at all!
Now looking back at it, I could tell that this was definitely an awesome experience. I had a lot of fun trying out all of the sour candies. I was nervous trying out the new candies for the first time, but I don't regret trying it at all! If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it!
-Ian
The central idea of this is that you can always try new things even though it may be strange or uncommon to you, and it never hurts to experience it with a video. I like how you used a lot of sensory language to describe each candy's taste. For example, in the text it says, "The blue raspberry was perfectly mixed with the cherry. The texture was like a gummy, and it wasn't sour at all!". This is a great representation of how it tasted and what it tasted like.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome because you are being inspired by youtube channels to make your own and when you make your own video you try different candies and i like it when you said "It felt like time was slowing down and my tongue was stinging a lot." the central idea is to try things that you haven't tried before and even if it is unusual you should still try.
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea is bravery. I think this shows it "If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it!" I like how Ian pulled the readers in with something the readers most likely all done before.
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea is to keep pushing through even if you're not sure about something at first. One piece of text that supports this is when you said, "I was nervous trying out the new candies for the first time, but I don't regret trying it at all!" Another bit of text is when you stated that, "I really wanted to spit it out, but I didn't. I kept on pushing, and then I finally swallowed it." This shows that while you might have doubted yourself at first you kept pushing through and had a great time tasting some candy that you had never tried before. One thing I liked about this was the mature vocabulary that you incorporated throughout the text, like, "texture" and "marvelous".
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea of this story is perseverance, you still ate the sour head even though it was uncomfortable. "The flavor mixed in with the sourness, and they worked perfectly together." i love the writing in this line, it shows how much you liked the candy; how much detail you put into every little bit of taste.
ReplyDeleteI love how your were trying candy on your first youtube BAHAHAH. But I liked your story because it was about trying new things. Even though the candy you were trying,I think most of your candy thats you tried was disgusting. Overall your story was good.
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you changed the main idea into a central idea. Instead of saying 'if you want to try new candy then do it.' What made it better was you said was "If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it!" This was a great way to connect to people if they don't like to try new foods.When you said, "he handed me the small, delicious, and sugary purple cube." This was a great way to describe an object without actually saying the name. When you just blankley say the name of the object, it doesn't give much feeling. When you dramatize it, it helps make your writing piece better.
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea of this is to keep pushing through, like with the second candy you kept going even after how sour it was. And, how after bad things, like the second candy, there is good to come after, like the third candy. I liked how you would describe things enough to get an image in my head, without actually telling me what it was. "as he handed me the small, delicious, and sugary purple cube." It really gives the reader something to see in their head.
ReplyDeleteI think that the central idea in the story is to try new things. In the conclusion you said "If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it!" In the story you wrote a lot about what it felt like to try new things and that even when you wanted to give up and spit it out you still didn't. I think that a lot of readers can connect to your story about a time when they tried something new.
ReplyDeleteI think one of the main ideas is do things you love. I like how you described how the different candy's tasted and what you thought was happening."It felt like time was slowing down, and my tongue was stinging a lot."
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea is to try new things. I can connect with this story by thinking of a time when I tried new foods, also one of the writing skills I liked was how well you described the candy ¨The flavor mixed in with the sourness, and they worked perfectly together¨.
ReplyDeleteI the central idea is trying new things. i also have a youtube channel, so i can connect with this story a lot.I loved how at the end you said that "If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it!" I feel like that a great way to end the story. this what a great story. nice work Ian!
ReplyDeleteI liked this piece because I could connect to it. THis piece reminds me of my first time making a video because It is something I really enjoy doing and is sort of a stress reliever for me. A line I like is when you said "My first youtube video was unusual.It was me trying out some candy.
ReplyDeletethe intro is okay with the question but i can't find the central idea i think it would either be youtube or be candy tastes good. i get this from "i like to record videos," but then latter you say "I could tell that this was definitely an awesome experience. I had a lot of fun trying out all of the sour candies."
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea is to try things you haven't because before because you don't know if you'll regret it. I also like how you said "So when I realized that youtubers also like to record videos, I decided to try being a youtuber." it shows that you are being inspired by those youtubers.
ReplyDeleteThe central idea that is see in this story is bravery, and you did a very good job portraying that. Quotes like,"I was nervous trying out the new candies for the first time," and,"If your nervous about something, try it out,and you really won't regret it," really help bring the central idea to life. And that last quote I mentioned also gave us a life lesson about trying new things, which really brought the conclusion together. I also really liked how descriptive you were with describing the candy with quotes like,"The smell of it was sweet, and as soon as I tasted it, it was absolutely marvelous," and,"When I tried it, the sourness got to me".
ReplyDeleteI love this piece because your writing kept me very engaged and when I read ¨I had a lot of fun trying out all of the sour candies. I was nervous trying out the new candies for the first time" it reminded me of when times I thought I wasnt able to do something but when I pushed through the fear I regreted nothing.
ReplyDelete"It felt like time was slowing down, and my tongue was stinging a lot." I can relate to this because sometimes when I eat too much sour candy my tongue and the roof of my mouth feels weird. Also it is good to try something new that is another thing I agree with. Overall the story is great.
ReplyDeletePerserverance is one of the central ideas of the story. When you mentioned "I really wanted to spit it out, but I didn't." If you did spit it out, you wouldn't enjoy it, and you wouldn't know if it would taste better after a while. I also enjoyed reading how you described the taste and the look of the sour candy.
ReplyDeleteThe way you describe the candys before and after they go into your mouth is amazing. The detail you gave to show how you were feeling when you were eating them was also incredible. "The flavor mixed in with the sourness, and they worked perfectly together. I savored it as long as I could until it got smaller and smaller, then gone." This also made me think back to when I was trying my first sour candy.
ReplyDeleteThis without a doubt is the most descriptive thing anyone has talked about candy. from when it enters your mouth and when you are chewing is crazy! Then when you said you savord it in your mouth that was my favorite part.
ReplyDeleteI think the message of the story is to try something new because, like how you tried out the candies "I was nervous trying out the new candies for the first time, but I don't regret trying it at all". I like how you organize the body paragraphs by the different candies.
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea is to not be afraid to try new things. I liked how you actually tried the candy because not everyone will try sour candy and that you didn't spit it out,and pushing yourself to keep it in your mouth.
ReplyDeleteThey way you described the candy "The blue raspberry was perfectly mixed with the cherry. The texture was like a gummy, and it wasn't sour at all" made my mouth water. You made the candy sound so good. I think the main idea of the story is that we all start somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI like this piece because at the end you sead ¨If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it.
ReplyDeleteI really like the central idea of being adventurous and trying new things. I can also relate to liking sour candy except for those sour balls I am honestly impressed you didn't spit it out because of the sheer amount of sourness. I also like how you described the
ReplyDeleteblue and red gummy worm."The smell of it was sweet, and as soon as I tasted it, it was absolutely marvelous. The blue raspberry was perfectly mixed with the cherry. The texture was like a gummy, and it wasn't sour at all!"
i don´t like sour it tastes bad. i like how you kept pushing on to get through the sour and then to the gummy worm. the first part was great i like how you said the blue raspberry was perfectly mixed with the cherry. that was a great way to describe it. i think the central idea is to keep on pushing on to get the prize at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteI actually relate to this because I use to do something like record videos. I've always making youtube videos with a old Japanese camera and it was kinda fun to be honest. I only had showed it to my parents, but later on I got nervous. I later on did stop because I notice that it was complete trash. I think your central idea is that if you have a hobby it will be a fun hobby that you will like a lot. "Now looking back at it, I could tell that this was definitely an awesome experience. I had a lot of fun trying out all of the sour candies." You have done a great job at explaining it and I always done this back then I was nine years old. Have a good day and bye.
ReplyDeleteI liked this story cause it really proved that you can take a hobby you enjoy and make it into something that other people can see. I think the central idea of this story was trying new things. I liked when you said "If you're nervous about something, try it out, and you really won't regret it" because it gives the reader confidence. It might get them thinking on how they can take their hobbies to the next level
ReplyDelete