Have you ever walked through your school hallways and seen those posters? The ones that say, “Don’t give up!” or “Keep practicing!” Almost everyone ignores those, but little does everybody know, these lessons are extremely significant in life. How do you prove to other people that you should be respected, that you’re good at something and should be valued? If you continually query this, you’re not alone. For many individuals, answers to these questions come from experience. My occurrence was quite challenging but brought the essence of these lessons back to light.
I aligned the ball to the highlights of the rim. With a flick of a wrist, the ball elevated into the air.
Flawlessly, it fell right through the basketball net.
I staggered as the piercing buzzer from the clock alerted everyone that the tournament was about to begin. I heaved a ponderous sigh. Gazing zealously at the hoops, I marveled at the stars of the team. Better tone down on the focus; I’m like a mouse in front of them, I deducted. Austerely trudging toward the bench, I pondered, What if...What if one day, I could finally prove that I’m a worthy teammate? That I’m not just some substitute player? My attention returned to the colossal candidates who sauntered before me. Blenching back in fear, I realized that any smart coach would choose them rather than someone like me.
I apprehensively hobbled toward the Jump Ball. Standing on the side, I held my hands in front of a player from the other team. This is it, I pictured, grab the ball and pass it to someone else. The referee flung the ball into the air, and, for a moment, the ball was a delectable golden sweet, making everyone’s eyes sparkle with yearning expressions. With an uproarious slap, the basketball sailed to our offensive side.
Without reluctance, I sprinted towards the ball as I was the closest. I glimpsed back and forth, but everyone else was far behind. Should I shoot? What if I miss? Maybe it’s better to secure the point by passing the ball...I dithered.
Abruptly, something struck me. For once, maybe I have a chance to score. It would be wasteful to lose this opportunity. Glancing back at my teammates, I knew that things would go wrong if I passed it way back there. So, I nervously crouched into position. Please go in…please... Legs buckling, pressure building, I rocketed my arms, and the ball silently whooshed through the net. Gasping and puffing, I stood, flabbergasted that the audience cheered and whooped for me. The glaring stares were mopped away from their faces and instead replaced with merriment. Even though this was only my first shot, the positivity fueled me like a tank engine.
I got ready to defend. I quailed when I realized I was a diminutive ant compared to the gargantuan elephant I was up against. The other girl sneered when she saw who was defending her. But, for some reason, she didn’t seem all that tough anymore.
A flashback projected in my mind. I remembered when I was eight, and I saw a women’s basketball game. My favorite player was number 16, one of the shortest and smallest players on the team. She would jump so high above people’s heads and score shots from incredibly long distances.
Suddenly, I apprehended something.
Maybe I don’t have to be big, or tall. But I have something they don’t...I’m smart. Exhilaration cascaded through my veins. This was my chance. A crisp new feeling washed over me. Determination. A sense of purpose ricocheted through my body.
Focus lasered through my eyes, and I locked my target. A girl from the other team confidently dribbled the ball towards us. She then gave a keen glance to the player behind me. They’re making a pass! I predicted. I promptly crouched down and started amassing my strength. These girls were huge, so the ball would plausibly soar way over my head. As soon as the ball left her hand, I was up. Visions of a trampoline painted my mind as I sprang as vigorously as I could. I was a piece of metal, and the ball was a magnet as the ball came right into my trusting arms. I captured the ball like I was catching a present. Less than a moment later, I was off. Pounding and darting, my legs were like an engine, propelling me forward.
The plan in my brain began to illustrate itself. Go past her and immediately secure the point, I chanted through my consciousness. Adrenaline seared through me. Dribbling and weaving, I briskly scissored through the other team as if they were chess pieces. Each step got easier and easier as I started to reach the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, parents from the other team started to mislead me by barking and beckoning enormous posters. Seething, I felt like stabbing their vexatious presence. It’s okay...EYES ON THE PRIZE! With a quivery breath, I deftly clutched my hands on the sweaty ball and aligned my angle. Gathering all the energy from my bent legs, I ascended the basketball towards the hoop.
Initially, the ball jounced and swirled on the rim. The ball and net were dancing together, almost as if they were on top of a cliff. Please! You have to go in or else this will all be for nothing! I screamed through my mind. Lips clenching, hands shuddering, I felt terror permeate within me. Belatedly, the ball fell over and stumbled into the net. I breathed the most contented exhalation ever. Negativity swept away from me as a grin leisurely radiated across my face. Thank you.
Halftime passed by quicker than I could’ve ever envisioned. I scored three more shots and ten rebounds. This will all be worth it when people appreciate my efforts! I bounded up to my coach with joviality.
“You know,” he began, “You seem to have much more potential than I thought.” I wanted to squeal because I was no longer the bizarre girl that probably shouldn’t be playing basketball. No, I was one of the most esteemed players on the team.
You could tell from my sweaty hands and dubious actions that at the beginning of the game, many negative thoughts were running through my mind. But with a little positive momentum and strong will, I thrusted those thoughts aside and shone through. Everybody has a talent or a unique trait that helps them sparkle through the rest. The key is to know when to harness it. The first step to getting others to respect you is to respect yourself. That means not beating yourself up by how you’re different, but embracing your uniqueness and using it to be the best that you can be. In short, everyone is built for success, and even though it takes time and patience to nurture your talent, the outcome of doing this will undeniably astonish you.
-Nethra
I like how you use sensory language to describe what was happening when you were playing you're basketball game, "The ball and net were dancing together, almost as if they were on top of a cliff."
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used sensory language during the games, "With a quivery breath, I deftly clutched my hands on the sweaty ball and aligned my angle. Gathering all the energy from my bent legs, I ascended the basketball towards the hoop."
ReplyDelete"Everybody has a talent or a unique trait that helps them sparkle through the rest." For me the central idea of this story is don't underestimate yourself. You may not have as much stamina as he has, but you have your own interests and skills that your much better at. Those skills can end up just as useful as theirs are.
ReplyDelete"many negative thoughts were running through my mind. But with a little positive momentum and strong will, I thrusted those thoughts aside and shone through." This quote really shows your determination and confidence when you realized that you could do it. It made me think back to when I was 10 and I was too afraid to jump at a trampoline park but with a little positive encouragement I could do it. It really showed me that a little positivity can go a long way.
ReplyDeleteI think a lesson in this narrative is that you can play smarter not harder. This central idea is demonstrated in this quote, "Maybe I don’t have to be big, or tall. But I have something they don’t...I’m smart." This central idea can be applied to lots of people because even though you weren't as big as the rest of the players, and everyone was underestimating you, you still managed to score lots of points and predict what the other team would do. I could apply this lesson to the other sports and competitive games I've played as well.
ReplyDelete"Maybe I don’t have to be big, or tall. But I have something they don’t...I’m smart".
ReplyDeleteThrough this i can understand that you believe in your potentials and that you believe i your self . And i understand that the saying working hard and thinking positive will always help
" I’m like a mouse in front of them, I deducted. Austerely trudging toward the bench, I pondered, What if...What if one day," I how you italicize your thoughts to make them more distinct and noticable.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you almost made the writing seem like it's in slow-motion. I don't play much sports, but my sister does. From how my sister describes it, this sounds exactly like how she described her volleyball games. One of the lines that really hit me was " Adrenaline seared through me. Dribbling and weaving, I briskly scissored through the other team as if they were chess pieces." It seems like a hybrid of tunnel-vision and methodical thinking.
ReplyDelete"A flashback projected in my mind...My favorite player was number 16, one of the shortest and smallest players on the team." I really liked how you used the flashback to relate to yourself in the game. You showed that you didn't have to be as tall or strong as the other players but you were smart. This piece was easy to relate to situations that are hard to believe in yourself until you find confidence.
ReplyDeleteI like how you had great detail to make the reader feel engaged.A flashback projected in my mind. I remembered when I was eight, and I saw a women’s basketball game. My favorite player was number 16, one of the shortest and smallest players on the team. She would jump so high above people’s heads and score shots from incredibly long distances. My reactions are a tiny bit stressed, knowing coming from a baseball championship game, stuff like this can happen. The lesson I learned is always try, and good stuff will happen.
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job at making the reader feel like they were right next to you in the story, and I love how descriptive it is. I particularly like the quote, " The ball and net were dancing together, almost as if they were on top of a cliff." It's a great example of a simile.
ReplyDeleteI learned that you should never give up and if one way is not a option use another. This is shown by the flashback to number 16 "I saw a women’s basketball game. My favorite player was number 16, one of the shortest and smallest players on the team. She would jump so high above people’s heads and score shots from incredibly long distances."
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate too this, since I play on an al boys team for hockey I want too prove that I cant be better than most girls so I try my hardest. "What if one day, I could finally prove that I’m a worthy teammate?" I learned that you need too try hard and youll get what you want.
ReplyDeleteI really like all the sensory language you used, especially when describing your emotions. I also really like how you stretched out the ball rolling on the rim, because it made me want to keep reading to find out what happens, "The ball and net were dancing together, almost as if they were on top of a cliff. Please! You have to go in or else this will all be for nothing! I screamed through my mind. Lips clenching, hands shuddering, I felt terror permeate within me."
ReplyDeleteNice job! The way you wrote it made me feel like I was in the game, and you really did a nice job keeping it engaging the whole way through. I really like where you said, "Maybe I don’t have to be big, or tall. But I have something they don’t...I’m smart" because you're showing that anybody can be good at anything.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you started with a question and used sensory language. The line "I wanted to squeal because I was no longer the bizarre girl that probably shouldn’t be playing basketball" This is a good lesson that if you keep working hard you will achieve your goals.
ReplyDeleteAmazing story! I loved the vocabulary you used to really engage me through the entire story. Like when you said, "Legs buckling, pressure building, I rocketed my arms, and the ball silently whooshed through the net." The vocabulary you used made me feel like I was really there, and I could feel, hear, and see everything that was going on. I can also relate to what it's like being in your situation. When I was 6-7 years old, I played baseball, and just like you, I was put in one of those scenarios. The opposing team had hit the ball, and I only had a few seconds to open my glove and catch the ball as it soared through the air. In that situation, I felt, just as you did, that, "I was no longer the bizarre girl that probably shouldn’t be playing basketball." The experience I had that day catching the ball made me feel like I wasn't the odd boy who stood in the field. I think the Central Idea of this story is to never give up. A quote that made me think this is, "In short, everyone is built for success, and even though it takes time and patience to nurture your talent, the outcome of doing this will undeniably astonish you." When you say that success takes time and patience, you show that you must work for what you want, and never give up even when it seems hard. I can apply this lesson to my own life, like if I'm ever doing homework and I keep getting the wrong answer, I would tell myslef to keep going, because I can do it as long as I don't give up.
ReplyDeleteNethra your piece is great. I can relate to when I saw those cheesy posters in elementary but, your right they do matter. On those not so great days the posters would give me a little boost. The line "these lessons are extremely significant in life." Made me remember that. You may not know it but someone out there believes and cares about you.
ReplyDeleteI all around really liked this story, and I especially liked the mature vocabulary that used used to bring the story to life. Words like ponderous, apprehensively, and diminutive really make me want to read on and finish the story. I also love how much detail was put into shooting the basketball. It made us feel like we were the ones shooting the basketball. And as a former basketball player, the details were spot on for how it feels like shooting a basketball. I think the message we are trying to be told is to try new things, and don't be afraid to thrive at that new thing. The quote,"In short, everyone is built for success, and even though it takes time and patience to nurture your talent, the outcome of doing this will undeniably astonish you," really makes us readers want to really practice a talent and thrive in it,
ReplyDeleteNice Story! I like how you started your story off with, "Have you ever walked through your school hallways and seen those posters? The ones that say, “Don’t give up!” or “Keep practicing!" Immediately in my head I had pictured one of those posters and was able to start to understand your story. I can connect to this story. When I had first joined basketball in 4th grade I was worried and always kept on passing the ball to my teammates. Then one day I decided to shoot it and made it! After that day I had played despite what I had feared. I think that the central idea of this story is to try new things and to respect yourself and others.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved your story! I loved all the detail you put into your thoughts during the game. At the beginning you had negative thoughts, “Blenching back in fear, I realized that any smart coach would choose them rather than someone like me.” and in the end you had positive thoughts, “Maybe I don’t have to be big, or tall. But I have something they don’t...I’m smart.” In this story I learned that loving yourself is so important if you want to achieve great things. If you don’t, you will always have that nagging thought in the back of your mind, you're not good enough. This lesson is a very good thing to know, especially before tests or an interview. Your story is very inspiring, I love it!
ReplyDeleteAmazing job nethra! I especially loved how much mature vocabulary you used! "Without reluctance, I sprinted towards the ball as I was the closest. I glimpsed back and forth, but everyone else was far behind. Should I shoot? What if I miss? Maybe it’s better to secure the point by passing the ball...I dithered." This is by far my favorite paragraph! I love it so much because I relate to it so much! Whenever I do taekwondo and am on a way to a test or tournament I get the same feeling!
ReplyDeleteSome techniques that made the piece really engaging is that there was so much sensory language that I can picture it in my mind as if it was a memory and it also lets me know what the character is thinking. "I pondered, What if...What if one day, I could finally prove that I’m a worthy teammate? That I’m not just some substitute player? My attention returned to the colossal candidates who sauntered before me." Every tryout for any sport is kind of like what is depicted here but a lesson is to do your best and don't be afraid to take opportunities. This is the best example of "Carpe diem" I have seen.
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