Have you ever felt like just giving up? We’ve all worked so hard in our lives, but sometimes you can overwork yourself to the point of feeling like you want to give up. I've felt like giving up before but found a way to feel gallantry, bravery, and courage.
I woke up knowing that the day was going to be a good day. It was the first week of summer break. I rolled up my blinds and rushed down the stairs. As my mom made breakfast, I ran to my dad and asked him, “Today’s the day I want to learn how to ride a bike, may you teach me?”
“Sure!” my dad said.
I sat on the lukewarm seat of my bike, shining and gleaming, as I balanced my two feet on the pedals. I swiftly started pedaling away. My bike whistled through the winds like the leaves on a bleak autumn day. I felt even worse now that I was moving. I felt like a hectic fever was coming because I thought I was going to fall, but giving up is never a thing to me. “Looking behind and thinking of negativity always results in bad,” my dad said. I remembered these words as I accelerated, moving faster and faster.
As I moved a further distance away from my house, I realized that biking started to sore my legs, and my legs started aching. The hot summer sun felt like a hot blazing dessert. As I looked up, the sun ached my eyes. Knowing the wise words my dad told me, I pushed faster and accelerated as I moved.
Failing over and over, I messed with my gears, angered. I then lost control of my bike and scraped the back of my leg on the burning concrete. I anguished on the ground like I just broke all the two-hundred-six bones in my body. I felt like giving up, feeling like I just wanted to fragment. I felt like a loser for doing such a dumb thing that I knew was going to result in a consequence.
I serenely lifted up my bike, and I reluctantly started pedaling away. I felt like I just relinquished as I moved further and further. As the clouds turned murky and murkier, I started to pedal back home. Perspiring started to slow down due to the inclement weather.
My bike tires trembled along the rocky road. My back tire made contact with a sharp rock. Pedaling became twice as hard when my tire was becoming flat because of the rock. I was enraged at how many times I’d struggled, knowing that I still had a long way to bike back home.
Seeing my house about one hundred feet away, I pedaled even faster and faster. Legs shaking, heart pumping, my bike rapidly made it to my driveway. It was finally over, all the struggles I’d gone through biking, I’d finally completed what I’d wanted to do.
My first time biking was a pretty bad experience. Instead of giving up, I persevered. In the end, it was actually pretty fun. Never let one bad experience ruin you to the point you don't want to do it again. Always try again.
-Abrahim P.
Good use of foreshadowing with,”I felt like this would be a great day.” verrey fun and engaging throw away line but it also is ironic for what is to come.
ReplyDeleteI really liked how your central idea stood out, bravery and courage. An example I really thought was specific was the sentence, “Legs shaking, heart pumping, my bike rapidly made it to my driveway.” This made me feel very engaged, with details I could imagine. I also enjoyed your lesson, in your conclusion. It was so meaningful, “Never let one bad experience ruin you to the point you don't want to do it again. Always try again.” This gave me positive feedback, to keep going. I also can relate to your story, when I remembered my first experience riding a bike. It really brought me back to my childhood, which I liked. Overall I liked how many details you gave and how you showed your expressions and emotions. Nice job on you’re piece!
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea of your piece is that you should never give up and keep persevering. The way you described your first experience made me wince, but I’m glad you were able to overcome it in the end. I like the personification you used for the bike, “My bike whistled through the winds like leaves on a bleak autumn day.” The way you describe things makes me feel like I’m really there. Because I didn’t give up, I have also been able to do many things including being able to ride a bike. In general, you did a great job writing an inspiring essay that many people could relate to.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever feel like giving up, just channel your inner bravery and keep on going. I liked how Abrahim used mature language in his writing.”I've felt like giving up before but found a way to feel gallantry, bravery, and courage.” I can relate to this, when i was learning how to ride my bike i wet through some of the same struggles. But just like Abrahim i kept going to persevered.
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