My father was in the way of my first class seat. 

       ¨Move, Dennis,¨ I demanded. 

       He sighed and hoisted my Louis Vuitton suitcase into the overhead compartment. I took my new Fjallraven Kanken backpack with me to my seat. Usually I get more expensive bags, but this bag is soo popular on TikTok; I just had to get it. 

       I sat down. The seats were plush with a deep navy blue. The plane was going to be landing in Kenya. I wasn’t excited - in fact, I was dreading the trip. It was our annual trip to a new country. I didn’t get how my dad wanted to do this every year. It was getting old. I would rather be at home, shopping with my friends or maybe hanging out at our golf club. But anyway, this year we were going to Kenya. 

       First we went to Ethiopia. My father had to go to a business meeting with the President, Sahle-Work Zewde. He was very excited and said it would be good for his business. He was the CEO of the aviation company Boeing, which made the plane we sat on and many idling on the runway around us. 

       Many passengers were still loading onto the plane. I pitied the ones that continued behind the curtains into Economy class, for they were going to be packed like sardines in the miniscule seats. Up here, the seats were spacious and posh. The overhead compartments were large and gray. 

       My father sat down next to me. I leaned my head against the mini window and sighed. I opened up my bag and looked inside. It had the basics: a hydro flask, scrunchies, lip gloss, my wallet, airpods, and my iphone XS. I took my phone out. My lock screen was me and my mom, Rebecca. She passed away six years ago, when I was seven. I missed her now as much as I did then. Life was so much better when she was around. 

       I texted my friends.  Leaving soon, miss you guys. I then took out my airpods, put on my music, and turned my phone on airplane mode. I started to doze off. 

       Through the fuzzy feeling of sleep, I heard the word “crash.” I groggily opened my eyes. The flight attendant was still talking through the speaker. I took out my airpods.

       “We have taken many precautions to prevent it from happening again.” 

       Again? What did they mean, again? I looked at my father. He was reading yet another article about Trump’s possible impeachment. “There was a plane crash?” I asked.

       He jumped a little. “Oh,” he said. “I thought you were asleep.”

       “That doesn’t answer my question. Was there a plane crash?”

       He looked down and pursed his lips. “Yes.”

       “What? When?” 

       “About five months ago,” he confessed.

       “Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded.

       He glanced back up at me. “I didn’t want you to be scared for this trip.”

       I exhaled loudly. “Whatever. What plane was it?” 

       “737 Max.”

       I widened my eyes. “We’re on the same plane!”

       He ran his tongue around his teeth and nodded. A flight attendant passed us, giving us an agitated look. My dad gestured to me to be quieter.

       “You investigated it, right? They fixed the problem?”

       “Yes. The pilot’s were inexperienced, they didn’t know what they were doing.”

       I frowned. “That doesn’t make sense. Don’t they have to get really good training in order to fly?”

       My father rolled his eyes. “Stop worrying, Kylie, everything’s fine. Just go back to sleep.”

       I put my airpods back in. I couldn’t believe it. My dad has been getting on my nerves a lot lately. Actually, since Mom died. He was always so anxious and fidgety. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but as soon as we took off I was out.

       A few minutes later, I awoke because of some turbulence. My airpods were playing my favorite song, Sunflower. I opened my eyes. My dad was sleeping. I looked at the woman across the aisle from him. Her face was stricken. In fact, so was everyone around me. What was going on? The speaker crackled on again. Just then, my stomach dropped. It felt like we were headed down. Didn’t we just take off? 

       “We are experiencing some difficulties with the automatic flight system. Stay calm and in your seats.” 

       My stomach dropped again, but this time it wasn’t because of the plane.  Everything that my dad said came flooding back. How the plane in 2018 crashed, how it was the same model we were on, and how the reason for the crash didn’t really make sense. 

       My breath quickened.  I whipped around to face my dad. He was still slumped over, asleep. I grabbed his shoulders and started shaking them. He mumbled something but didn’t wake up.  “Dad, wake up!”  Hearing the urgency in my voice, he straightened up. 

       “What? What is it?” he asked.

       “The plane is going down and the pilots can’t fix it!” I yelled.

       “Shit.” He leaned his elbows on the little table in front of him and put his head in his hands. I turned the other way and threw the window cover open. We were still heading towards the ground. I twisted around and looked over the back of my seat. Everyone was panicking. Mothers and fathers were grabbing their children,  and people were crying and reading the crash safety packet with shaky hands. Babies started sobbing, and soon they were not the only ones. 

       “We are attempting to shut off the automatic flight system. Everyone, try to stay calm,” the overhead speakers commanded. 

       Calm? How could anyone stay calm during this? The plane was going down for god’s sake. I turned and faced my dad again. He was still sitting there, looking paralyzed.

       “Aren’t you going to do something? You are the CEO of the company, you have to help somehow!” I yelled.  

       He looked up and out the window.  “I can’t,” he said in a raspy whisper. 

       “What do you mean, you can’t?” 

       “Yes, I know what’s happening. The MCAS-”

       “What are those?” I questioned.

       He shook his head. “Part of the automatic system. They make the plane go down because they think we’ll get stuck if we go up. And even if the pilots shut the MCAS down, there is still not enough weight in the back of the plane to pull it up.” 

       I could not believe this was happening. 

       “Listen, Kylie, if I knew-” 

       I unbuckled my seatbelt and stood up, cutting him off. I made my way past his seat and to the curtains dividing the first and second class. 

       “Everybody, stand up and get to the back of the plane!” I commanded. 

       Three or four people got up and started scurrying to the back. Everyone else was looking at me, wondering what a teenage girl like me was trying to do. Tears started leaking from my eyes as I realized they would never go to the back, and even if they did, it would still not be enough to make the plane head back up.

       “We are turning the automatic flying system back on as there is no other option,” the speaker said. “Everyone, get back to your seats.”

       The people in the back looked at me for clarification, I have no idea why, but I gestured for them to sit back down.

       My stomach dropped again as the plane buckled. I fell to the ground. Passengers started screaming in fear. I crawled on all fours back to my seat. I stepped over the legs of my dad; he was gazing at me with tears in his eyes. I could not look back at him, a hatred for him burning in me. I don’t know exactly why, probably because he should’ve known this could happen, and investigated more in the last crash. Maybe it was because he was greedy, maybe it was because he was never really there after mom died. I guess I’ll never really know. 

       “This is the pilot speaking.  We can not pull the plane back up. Everybody put their oxygen masks on and brace for impact.”

       I froze. This could not be real. Everything slowed down. The masks dropping from above, my dad putting mine on my face before putting his own on. Screams echoing all around me. My dad bent forward and leaned his head and hands on the seat in front of him. I somehow unfroze and did the same. We were looking at each other.

       “Love you, Kylie.”

       I stared at him and opened my mouth to say something, but I didn’t do it in time. Everything was red, then black. 

       Some time later, there was a blinding light, threatening to break through my eyelids. Was this heaven? I opened my eyes. Just like that, pain began searing through my body. I rolled over. Shards of shrapnel were poking me. There were actually chunks of metal and dirt everywhere. The plane must’ve crashed in a field somewhere. I recalled the last moments on the moving plane. How I was going to say something to my dad?

       Right. My dad. Where was he? I began doing something like an army crawl over the grass and metal. I saw a silhouette and crawled toward it. It was him. I reached out an arm and shook him. He did not stir. My face hit the ground, realizing his last moments were spent waiting on me. Everything faded to black again.

       Now there was a new light, pure and with colors I had never seen before. I could feel no pain anywhere. 

       “Kylie!” A woman’s voice called.

       I smiled. I knew this, this was heaven.

-Camille W.