Thursday, May 2, 2024

     Click, click, click. Fear, excitement, and fun. What thing provides all three of those at the same time? Click, click, click. Well I have known and lived through it multiple times. Sometimes they are lackluster in their aspects. Click, click, click. But every single one is different and unique in their own way. I have memories from a lot of them. Click, click, click. This is when I rode one that I had loved.

     I then made it to the top of the steep climb. I felt like I was on top of the world. The air was still for that moment. The view was like it was out of a book. I saw the blue, sparkling river. The green and lively forest. Everyone was silent for the exhilaration to come. The view was breathtaking for me. I loved every aspect of the river and the forest. I noticed we were still moving, so I put up my arms. Then, I dropped. Barreling down, body shaking, heart racing. I tried to sweat, but the wind blew the sweat off before it even escaped my pores. I forgot everything except for this.Then my head whipped to the left, then right. My arms were feeling heavy, but I prevailed. I continued to take jolts to the side and go under the ground once, until finally I slowed down. My adrenaline started dissipating, my heart slowed; I set my arms on my lap and calmed down. I waited until I could exit. When my cart pulled up to the exit, I lifted up my lap bar, and I exited the ride. I was so exhilarated I could be called a fly in a dump.

I walked down the steps with my family, and we all were exhausted from the fun. I continued to exclaim to ride it again. My brother’s face was pale like he saw a ghost. He didn’t like the speed with the amount of protection we got. My mother and father had a lot of fun, and they wanted to go again too. My brother protested about going up again, so for the goodness of my brother, my dad stayed behind. While he stayed behind my mother and I went to go and ride the coaster three more times. The darting up and down made me have so much fun that I didn’t want to stop. But after my third time going, my mom got a headache, so I went with my dad. My dad and I went up and down the coaster, seeing who could keep their arms up the longest. I was like a tree because of how sturdy I was while holding up my arms.

      It was getting later and later. The sun was dropping like a ball in space, slowly, but steadily. We all started to get tired. I said that we should ride one more ride, but my mom and dad both agreed that we should start to go back to the car. I reluctantly agreed to the proposal because I was getting tired, eyes drooped. When we got back to the car, I looked back at the rides, and I had longed to go back. But I knew that I couldn’t go back. I knew when my dad and my mom had made a decision, I could not break it. It was rock solid.

     While I left the amusement park I looked out the window. I saw all of the rides. How they moved perpetually, and the people riding them. I saw fun radiating out of the park. Limbs weakened, I was tired, but I was still exhilarated from all the fun I had on the rollercoaster. Living in the moment makes you have more fun.




-Jackson K. 





7 comments:

  1. Immediately, the use of language and the descriptions in the few paragraphs hook the reader and provide concise, yet vivid imagery. Like in this line, “the view was like it was out of a book. I saw the blue, sparkling river. The green and lively forest.” It creates exactly the emotions that are described, a feeling of calm and stillness, creating the feeling before even stating it that “everyone was silent for the exhilaration to come.” While the rest of the story is no less engaging, the introduction accomplishes perfectly the ideal goal of an introduction: To capture the attention of the reader and excite them for the rest of the story.

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  2. I can relate to Jackson’s story about the roller coaster and how you should live in the moment because I have also experienced things that draw adrenaline from your body and make butterflies in your stomach. I remember when I had convinced my cousin to go on a rollercoaster with me, I felt the same as Jackson described, “Barreling down, body shaking, heart racing.” Another description he used in his introduction that I liked was, “Fear, excitement, and fun.” I feel like many people could relate to this experience as well, whether it be a rollercoaster specifically, or some other event that made them feel adrenaline. I also like the “sound effects” Jackson adds in his introduction to give the reader a hint of what his story is about.

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  3. Jackson, I like how you used very detailed words to describe your experience, I am really impressed that you could survive continuous runs on a rollercoaster. I would have probably threw up after the first run. I can only relate to your personal narrative, when I have a rollercoaster with a theme that I like. I like the sound effects and the intro with your narration and the sound of a roller coaster going up the first hill. Great Personal Narrative!

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    Replies
    1. "Click, click, click. Fear, excitement, and fun. What thing provides all three of those at the same time." I like the sound effects and the intro with your narration and the sound of a roller coaster going up the first hill.

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  4. I loved that story.I too understand the love for roller coasters.This story reminds me of my first time going to Six Flags, but I was looking through your brother's point of view.When you said, “ Click, click, click.Fear, excitement, and fun.” I loved how you stated all of the feelings while riding a roller coaster.When you mentioned the sounds, the feelings, I felt like I was there.You really brought this story to life with the sensory language.Good job Jackson.I look forward to reading more of your stories!!!

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  5. Jackson, I like how you used onomatopoeia (“click, click, click”) to make it seem like I was really riding on that roller coaster. I also liked how you used absolutes (“body shaking, heart racing”) to make the second before you dropped more suspenseful. I can relate to your story because I had a similar experience. I went on a ferris wheel with my dad and brother, but my reaction to it was a mix of yours and your brother’s. I cried on the ride, but I went on it again because I realized it wasn't that bad. From your story I learned to live in the moment. I think I already do this, but in the way that you are a living human being created of molecules and atoms, but your way seems more exciting.

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  6. My reaction from this roller coaster experience in that jackson had fun,I have experienced this before when I was at coney island.My favorite thing about this story is the description of the clicking noises of the roler coaster going up these sound make me think im back on a roller coaster in coney.

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