Have you ever done something that you thought you could do without listening to people who have more experience than you? If you have done this, how did you feel afterward? I have made this mistake, and I strongly regret it.
It was a beautiful, gleaming morning. I was getting ready for my tennis practice with my dad for my match at 5:30. I was very serene and was ready to play anyone for my tennis match that day. “Dad, I’m ready for practice!” I exclaimed.
“Okay Nathaniel, I am almost ready,” he replied.
When we arrived at Sportime, my dad wanted me to do some fitness. “Nathaniel, go on the treadmill so you will be warmed up,” my dad said in a very gentle voice.
“Dad, I don’t want to go on the treadmill,” I replied coldly.
“Then what do you want to do for your warm up?” he said a bit more sternly.
“I just want to go on the court, just like usual,” I replied.
We went on the court and started to warm up. After I thought I got my shots warmed up, my dad did some simple practice drills with me. I guess I wasn’t really warmed up because when my dad started feeding the balls to me, all the balls I hit were going out! This got me really tense. It was like my head was going to explode.
“Dad, can I have a quick break?” I asked.
“Okay,” he replied.
Throat gulping, I drank my water. Heart thumping, I took ten deep breaths and headed on the court. It turns out, taking a short break actually works! I was more serene, which helped me to focus. When I took a water break, I changed my grip because It was slipping out of my hand. After my break, I did one more drill. I don’t know what happened, but I started hitting the balls out each time, and none of the balls went in. This was happening for a while, and my dad tried to help me.
“Nathaniel, you need to stop hitting the balls too close to the line and hit them between the blue line and the cone,” he told me.
“Dad, I’m trying to hit angles because that’s what I learned to do easily yesterday,” I replied very defensively. My dad was right, though, I just didn’t listen to his advice in time for my match.
My parents and I arrived at Tri-City. “Mom, I am very apprehensive about my match,” I said, my voice cracking.
“Nathaniel, you will do great,” my mom said in a very solemn tone. At that moment, I felt a bit better about myself and thought that I might win my match.
After five minutes of stretching in the very elegant, green locker room, I started to feel very lethargic. I knew a coach would call the 5:30 matches very soon, and I became so stressed out! I felt like there were butterflies flying at rapid speeds in my stomach. I took ten deep breaths, and I felt calm and relaxed.
“Arnav and Nathaniel, court three. Seven point tiebreak this time,” Mr. Andy, the front desk guy, said.
I was so distraught to the point that I didn’t know I was in Tri-City. I was so nervous I thought I was going to faint. I knew I wasn’t ready to play a match. Heart thumping, I headed on to the court with Arnav. We started warming up, and I was playing well. After we were both warmed up, we started our match. He was serving first, and I was ready to play. He served. Legs shaking, shoulder quivering, I smacked the ball with as much topspin as I could muster and won the point. His serves were pretty good. I got two games, then he won six games in a row, winning 6-2. I felt so mad; I thought my head would pop off my body.
During the second set break, I had a very strong feeling of regret. I was regretting that I didn’t listen to my dad for the instructions. I felt like I was chained to the thought, I should do what my dad told me in the morning. And it worked! I was able to hit the balls more consistently, and I got more games this way. I was playing so well until I hit a shot right to him, and he smacked the ball to my forehand and won the rest of the game. He made a comeback, and I lost the second set 6-4.
When I did the things that my dad told me to do, I was able to play better! I should have listened to my dad from the beginning because I would have won the match. This experience taught me that I need to listen to the adults that know better. For me, I felt that I needed to listen to my parents, coaches, and teachers better. Do you listen to the people who have experience? If you don’t, you should, because they know what’s best for you.
-Nate R.
I like how you grabbed me in the beginning with a very intriguing introduction, “Have you ever done something that you thought you could do without listening to people who have more experience than you?” This really grabbed my attention and made me want to read more. You used very sophisticated language that made this sound really nice. You also did a really good job on helping the reader relate to the lesson you were teaching. All of these aspects helped the story become more full. This was a very interesting story to read about. Excellent job Nate!!
ReplyDeleteThat was an amazing personal narrative! I loved the way you used sensory words and mature vocabulary. One of my favorite parts from the narrative was when you wrote, “After five minutes of stretching in the very elegant, green locker room, I started to feel very lethargic.” Lethargic is probably one of the best words to use in that context. I had to search it up but that word is perfect for the situation.
ReplyDeleteNate's story made me think more about my past experiences playing softball. I get very tense in softball especially when I’m pitching. It becomes hard for me to listen to what my coach is telling me that I’m doing wrong. The line in Nate's story that really made me think of when I pitch was, “I knew I wasn’t ready to play a match.” I can usually tell when a certain pitch isn’t going well in warmups or I’m not ready to pitch first in a game, the problem is I’m always too stubborn to tell someone. Nate's story made me realize that talking to a coach or adult that has more experience then you can be helpful even if it's hard to admit you're not doing well.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you made every emotion clear, how you made the intro so relatable, I liked how you made the vocabulary mature. A sentence that fits mature vocabulary is “After stretching in the very elegant, green locker room, I started to feel very lethargic.” I love how you restated the topic at the end of the story.
ReplyDeleteIn this narrative Nate shows us that listening to your parents always pays off, Nate also says “I should have listened to my dad from the beginning because I would have won the match.” If Nate had listened to his Dad then Nate would have won the whole match. Nate uses his voice in the writing, like when he says “I was so distraught to the point that I didn’t know I was in Tri-City. Nate really uses his voice in this sentence and many more sentences.
ReplyDeleteNate I like how you dive right in with an interesting question. You go straight to the main idea and technically tell me what the main thing is going to be about. You show a lot of monotonous detail. I also like how you express a bunch of emotions. You share stuff that happens very often like regret. You share a lesson that should be learned from common mistakes.
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