Have you ever reacted in a way that you regret? Do you ever wish you could go back in time to change something you did? This was me at my graduation performance. What I did wasn't necessarily an atrocious thing, which is something I keep trying to tell myself whenever this troublesome memory comes to mind. I completely freaked myself out in front of a whole crowd.
It all took place when my music teacher, Mrs. Dineen, held auditions to sing a part of a song at the end of the year concert. I immediately auditioned.
I practiced every day and drank scorching tea to make sure my voice was the best it could be at the concert. The song was split into four small parts for four people. Even though it was just a small part, I was determined to give it my all.
The day arrived. There were two performances we did, one for the students at our school and one for the parents. The first performance for the students at our school went smoothly. I undoubtedly had high expectations for the next performance.
The next day came and we were going to perform in front of the parents.
When the song came, I was focusing on the two people singing before me. When I came up to sing, I was ready, or so I speculated. I should have been thinking about what I was about to sing and the lyrics. I looked all over the room, frantically looking for my parents who had their cameras out, eagerly waiting for me to sing. As I was searching around the room, I saw Mrs. Dineen que me in to sing. I panicked and sang the wrong lyrics. Everybody's head turned when they saw my face starting to uncontrollably turn a bright crimson red. Before I knew it, I forgot the whole song. A lump appeared in my throat. Suddenly, a tear started descending down my face. Then another. And another. I looked down to see what seemed like a river of tears on the ground below me.
Heart pounding, tears dripping, I walked to the back of the line and watched the last person sing. I got extremely indignant at myself not only for messing up, but for reacting in that way. While singing the final group song, I tried to regain my composure and form a forged smile.
When I got back home, embarrassed, I ran to my bed. My mom tried to make me feel better and erase all bad memories from my mind. I dolefully shoved the chocolate chip ice cream my mom brought me in my mouth as the memory replayed over and over again in my mind. At this point I didn't care about how I forgot the lyrics. I was upset with myself and how I made myself lament in front of the whole audience. I overreacted.
My friends and I laugh about the memory looking back on it. When something bad happens (especially in front of a large crowd), it seems like the most dreadful thing in the world. This happens to everybody at some point in their life. It is important to move on and focus on the present. When you are in the moment, don’t freak yourself out. It makes the whole situation worse.
-Oliva S.
The lesson I think someone could take from this is to stay calm. The line, “When you are in the moment, don’t freak yourself out.” gives me that idea.
ReplyDeleteOlivia I enjoyed the lesson that you are trying to teach here. Which for me sounds like it is moving on from the past. I think the lesson truly appeared at, “It is important to move on and focus on the present.” This can apply so much in my life especially after a big sports competition. When I have a bad competition I think about it for several days or even weeks, but reading this made me think that I should really think about the present when I don’t move on.
ReplyDeleteThe first sentence of your personal narrative, “Have you ever reacted in a way you regret?” I like the way you used this question technique. I always hear people talking about how they’re embarrassed, or regret something they’ve done in the past, and I’m pretty sure everyone in their lives can relate to this question, along with me, since I’ve done some embarrassing stuff in the past, like me slipping and getting mud on my back when I was younger. “Do you ever wish you could go back in time to change something you did?” I also like how you used the technique again, since I know everybody can relate to this second thought provoking sentence at the start of this introduction.
ReplyDeleteA message in Olivia’s personal narrative is, “It is important to move on and focus on the present” as mentioned in the last paragraph. I know this because in the last paragraph Olivia wrote the exact same thing. Some techniques that Olivia used to make the narrative engaging is some sensory language, and perfect mechanics. I can relate to your experience from when I went to NYSSMA this year, and last year when I messed up a note I would glance at the judge, and the judge would write something down. This made me very nervous
ReplyDeleteI love how you recapped the memory very precisely and step by step. Also how you included information from days or even weekends before the performance. Using that tactic of background knowledge and deeply explaining your emotions added an extreme amount of realism, and it felt like I was experiencing this event for myself in real time. I also think a lesson from this memory could be to keep composure and to not get ahead of yourself in the moment. This idea was supported by this quote from the memory, “When the song came, I was focusing on the two people singing before me. When I came up to sing, I was ready, or so I speculated. I should have been thinking about what I was about to sing and the lyrics.” This quote was evidence that during the performance you were so confident that you got ahead of yourself and forgot you had to sing.
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