Chapter 38

       There I was, lying in bed. The children were asleep, and my wife was lying still next to me. The song Brother, Can you Spare Me a Dime was in my head. I felt like I let my family down. I needed…zzzzzzzzzzz.

       The sun shone through the windows, and I could hear the morning birds chirping. I looked to my right, and the sheets were folded open. It was just like every other morning with nothing to do, and no reason to get up. I got my tan, semi- wrinkled trousers on and a perfect cherry red collared shirt. 

       I walked like a sloth from the squared, floral rug onto the dark stained wood floor. I saw that all the children were ready for school, which was living on the edge with almost no teachers. All of my lovely children ran up to me saying, “Good morning, Dad!” They had to head off to school, so I gave each of them reminders.

       “Sally, don’t get behind the 8-ball,” I said, enjoying her embrace. She looked up at me, wrapped around my waist, smiling. She then walked away, going towards her backpack. “Wayne, no bill and coo with the girls.” Wayne looked at me, almost at my height, and shook his head, smiling, “Joseph, have a banging time!” Joseph smiled and skipped away from me. He was my youngest, and definitely the most energetic.  The front door opened with each set of footsteps going through the doorway. Then it slammed shut, causing the room to shake. 

       Once they left, you could clearly see the whole beige floral wallpaper with no people or bags in front of it. This was a new edition to our house that took some time. The house was dead. My wife, Mary, turned around, slapped her dish towel on the counter and looked at me. “Gordon, we have to at least tell Wayne we ain’t got deep pockets,” she stated, staring across the room at me. Wayne was our oldest child, and the most responsible. 

       “I know, I know. I just don’t want to let them down. On the other hand, I think I am going to head off to town,” I emphasized with an all-nerves voice, as if someone was trying to sell me something illegal. 

       “Okay, be safe,” said Mary, turning back towards the sink full of dishes. I left the house swiftly. Then she caught me at the end of the door; I sighed. “Hey, wait! I got some mail for you to drop off!” said Mary, frantically running towards me, waving her hand with some papers. I stopped quickly and grabbed it from her. She gave me a bill and coo goodbye, and I was off to town. 

        When I got outside I was already sweating bullets, but it wasn’t even summer yet. It smelled like chimneys. This was a usual smell in the morning from the neighborhood cooking. I kicked up the extra dust on the cracked paved road. While I was outside, I realized I didn’t fix my hair, but to be honest, there was no point because I had no one to impress.

        As I was walking, I saw Robert up ahead. I ran to him and popped right next to him.

       “Hey Robert! Off to work I see!” I observed, with an upbeat voice. 

       “Howdy Gordy! I sure am! Any plans for today?” Robert asserted.

       “Not really, I am just off to town, and then seeing if I can get an interview scheduled from my old boss.” My old work has been packed with a long line for interviews, but today I felt like it was the day. I was done letting my family down. 

       “Well, good luck!” I might need it at this point. “It has been so busy at work, I wish I could get a break!” cackled Robert. He waved and then walked away with a joyful smile. He started to walk towards his other friend from work. 

       Why does it feel like everyone around me works except for me? My spirits were definitely not rising. 

       Once I got to town, the sun started to shine over the taller building, and I could hear men, families, children, and women talking all around me. I first needed to stop at the post office. I could see up ahead that there was a long line out the door. There was a rumor going around town that there were only two postal workers. I thought to myself, I mean, it maybe wouldn’t be the worst job. I mean, if they were looking for workers, I would take it. 

       Once I made my way towards the post office, I started to boil. The sun was starting to reach the shadier spots. I could smell the coffee that people carried from their homes.

       It was 9:30 am, so I probably wouldn’t get out until 10 am. I had nothing else to do, so I just stood and waited there. While I was waiting, all I could hear were people complaining because they had somewhere to be, work. 

       The thought I need to make money started rushing through my head like a strong river pushing through rocks. At that moment all of my emotions started to overwhelm me and spread throughout my body. I couldn’t let anyone know the misery I was going through. It would also make me look like I was a cry baby, and I couldn’t have anyone think that. 

       I looked at my wrist watch and saw that it was about to strike 10.  Almost all the workers were gone. They either made it out or they ran out of time. By now, I could see the windows in the shop. I looked closely for a help wanted sign, but there was nothing. I was determined to keep looking. I looked at the most common spot, the corner. 

       When my eyes started to shift across the window, a towering man stepped right in front of the corner. This man looked like he also had nowhere to be. He was dressed in trousers and a blue collared shirt. Then, a beautiful woman came running next to him with a child in her arms. She wore a lovely floral dress. Now I definitely couldn’t see the windows. I have a feeling they may have too much money to spend.  By the time my thought was over I was practically inside the building. I kept looking along the building; there was no help wanted sign.

       I finally saw the new uplifting mural inside the post office. I realized I only had two more people in front of me. It was musty and hot inside the post office. I was tapping my foot to a song. Bing Crosby’s voice echoed in my head… “Why should I be standing in the line, waiting for bread?” When I looked behind the counter, it turned out that the rumor was true. There were indeed only two postal workers.  I started questioning if I should ask for work.

       The person at the counter greeted me, “ Hello, Sir! Would you like me to stamp this? Would you like to mail this first class?”

“Hi! Yes, I would like a stamp on each. No thank you, third class is good for me,” I responded, “Actually, I will take the first class for that letter,” I added, pointing to the letter on the top of the pile. That was the letter to a job farther away from home that was looking for workers. I thought I would try to send it as fast as I could. 

       “Alright! Let me get that quickly so you can get off to work!” said the sympathetic mailman.

       “Okay!” I said, rubbing the back of my neck, hoping no one knew that I was unemployed. He handed me the receipt, and I was off to my next destination. Turns out I was not looking for a job there because I didn’t have the guts to say anything else. 

       It was about 10:30 now, and I decided to take a walk around town. The road was recently paved; there were no cracks or pot-holes yet. It felt like it was getting hotter with every step. The brown, bricked buildings did not cover the sun. The streets were empty and dead; everyone was at work. I could hear someone yelling up ahead, “Daily newspapers right here! Unemployed and looking for money! Please help by buying some newspapers!” The man had plain clothes on, and his hair was messy.  I decided to run to him. I knew how it felt, looking for money and needing a job. I had two quarters in my pocket. 

       “How much?” I asked the man.

       “10 cents!” asserted the man.

       “Alright. You can keep the change.” I handed over a quarter, and he handed me back the newspaper, “I’ve been looking for a job myself, but no one wants to take me.” 

       “Same here! Anyway, have a great day, and good luck!” the man replied. I grinned and kept walking.

       It was later now, and I was getting a little hungry. I didn’t want to wait in a long line, so I decided to walk towards the free lunch building. As I started to see it in the distance, I realized there wasn’t much of a line, just maybe a few people. At least there was no line outside like the post office. 

       When I got inside of the free lunch building, I went right behind the person that was in the back of the line. I waited for a little while, humming, Brother, Can You Spare me a Dime in my head. It was silent, and I eventually realized the line wasn’t moving at all. I went straight on my tippy toes to see what was up, and I saw a large group of children. They all looked related and were with what looked like their parents. They were individually getting their bread with lard.  

        It was dead inside the building; all you could hear was, “There you go!” from the volunteers feeding the people in need. As soon as I was in the front I held up my fingers, signaling that I wanted two pieces of bread. The woman handed me two, and I said simply, “Thank you!” She nodded back, and I walked away. I put the bread quickly in my mouth. The lard was disgusting. I was getting sick of eating this for lunch. Although, some days when I stay home I get to have a special lunch from Mary. 

       I was back on the street and started my walk again.  As I was walking, I realized that I was getting closer to my past employer, and I felt ready to ask for my job back. I just had a feeling in my gut I was going to get the job, but that could have just been the bread with lard. 

       As I got closer, I started to get nervous, not knowing if I looked good enough or what I was going to say. They knew me, I had tried this before, and I had even worked there! I kept walking, running different lines through my head. 

       Hello! I am looking to get my job back. I need the money. I have much to show, and I will work as hard as you need me to. 

       Hi! I need a job! I have worked here before; you know how hard I work, and if that wasn’t enough, I can always work harder. Anything for a job and for the company to be successful.  

       I didn’t know which one I wanted to use. I kept thinking. Thinking. Thinking. And thinking. Until I was right next to the building. No line, like it was just waiting for me. I questioned walking in, but I took a deep breath. I opened the large black metal door.

       When I got inside, it was more of a comfortable temperature. I walked up to the front desk and asked nicely for an interview. The lady working there responded with, “Sure, just take a seat right over there and someone will be right with you.”

       “Okay,” I said, “How long do you think it will be?’

       “Oh, not too long, maybe like five minutes, I think people have given up on interviews,” she responded.

       “Alright!” I said and walked away.

       When I found a seat, I waited patiently, still thinking about what to say. When finally, after what felt like an eternity, this woman with a  lipstick red dress stated that they were ready for me. She followed with, “Follow me please!” So I simply followed. 

       As we walked, I looked at all the people working on the side in separate rooms. I just kept walking straight until we walked up to a large wooden door that said, “Boss.” This was it, the big time! If something went wrong there was no other chance. I was ready, I don’t think I could ever be more ready.

        I walked in with a large smile. Right when I got inside I saw my old boss, who was grumpy as usual. He was sitting behind a large wooden desk, his hands were folded and resting on the desk, and he had one of the straightest faces I had ever seen. 

       “Sit down, Gordon. I don’t have all day,” he demanded in a stern voice. I sat down in a wooden chair that matched the desk and let him start the interview.  “I know you want an interview, and I am ready now, so get started with your shenanigans.”

       “Hi,” I said in a very awkward, high pitched voice, “I just wanted to start off by saying that I am ready for the job, and I can work very hard.” I then cleared my throat. That was definitely not what he was looking for.

       “Okay. Now tell me why you think you will work so hard and be good for this company,” he said with a straight face and harsh voice. All the words left my mouth, and I was clueless.

       “I have worked for you before, and I know I might have not done my best, but I am ready now. I am ready to do whatever you need me to. To work as hard as possible and make this company great. As you may know, I have experience, so that should be no problem whatsoever. I just need another chance, I will work the hardest I have ever worked,” I declared in a confident but hopefully not too overconfident voice. I used nothing of what I was thinking about saying before, but I hoped it would still turn out well. 

       “Okay. I see, Gordon. You still haven’t found yourself a job, and you're probably in desperate need of the job, so I shall think about it,” he said in an awfully nice way, “Now one quick question, do you have a home phone?” 

       “Well, thank you for your concern.  I sadly do not have a home phone yet, but I can do anything to call you,” I said in hopefully a nice enough voice. I felt embarrassed, like I was supposed to have a home phone. I could just picture that would be the reason they would not want me. 

       “Okay then. You shall be at the phone booth at exactly 5pm and calling me to see if you got the job. Here is the company phone, and I will make sure to answer,” he said in a stern voice.

       “Alright! I will make sure to be there right on time,” I proclaimed, a little worried as I swallowed hard. 

       “Now get going, like I said I don’t have all day,” he insisted, shewing me off.

       “Okay sir,” I said, standing up and leaving quickly. I opened the wooden door, and it was surprisingly heavier than I thought it would be, but I kept walking.

        As I was walking out, I was scared, nervous, not knowing if I was going to get this job or not. I just kept walking, passing the rooms full of workers. Then, passing the front desk, the lady waved at me, so I waved back with a smile. As I pushed through the doors, it felt like deja vu, just liking walking through these doors when I used to work there. 

       When I was outside it was nice to have fresh air. I felt relieved that the interview was finished, but now I had to worry until 5 pm. I held on tight to the paper with the phone number on it and walked my way to the house. 

        As I walked down the sidewalk, cars flew by with men in suits that looked rich. I was remembering what misery I had been in, not knowing when I was going to get a job. However, that could all change, I just had to believe in myself. 

        I kept walking, looking straight ahead, until I saw my acquaintance, George, walking just about twenty feet in front of me. What is he doing out here? He usually has work. I put my head down, hoping he wouldn’t see me; he peeked over his shoulder, and then there was no more hiding. He saw me because of course at that moment I was the only one near him. He stopped and waited until I caught up to him. I knew I had to be nice, but who knows what he had to say today.

       “Well, fancy seeing you here, Gordy,” he cackled in a sarcastic tone, “I just thought you would be back at your house with your wife, Mary. You know, since you are unemployed.”

       “Hello, George. I am actually just heading home now. Why are you not at work?” I responded in the most annoyed way ever because I didn’t want to deal with him. 

       “Well, I thought I would go out and buy some lunch, you know, from the sandwich place,” he said, almost like he was bragging about it. 

        “That sounds nice. However, I gotta get going, so I guess I will see you later then, fela,” I insisted, walking faster ahead past the sandwich shop he was going to.

       “Okay then. Bye, Gordy!” Only my friends call me Gordy, so how dare he even said that.  I just kept walking. I didn’t even want to look back. George was such a hotshot and never even cared for anyone else.

       As I was walking, I remembered I had the newspaper in my back pocket, so I decided to pull it out and read it as I walked. I started reading up on the most recent news.  It was all just unemployment and businesses shutting down. One of the headlines said, “13 MILLION PEOPLE UNEMPLOYED IN THE U.S.”  At least I knew there were still some people out there just like me. Just about 29,999,999 of them. 

       When I was walking home I looked at the green trees on the side with no building, and on the other side walls with, “STORE CLOSED.” I just kept walking, and walking, and walking. Then I made it to the turn onto my little village road. My house was getting closer, and I was so ready to go inside because it was boiling outside. 

       When I opened the door my wife was sweeping the floors and tidying up the house. I greeted her with, “Well, hello, Mary! I see you are working hard.” 

       “Sure am! But I am ready to take a break, so you can tell me all about what happened,” she said as if I was just one of her children. 

       “You are in for a special little treat. Are you ready to get started?” I asked, looking at her smiling and patting the seat next to me. She quickly ran over with her cute floral dress and sat down beside me. 

       “Of course I am, now let’s get started,” she declared, engaged and ready to hear about my walk in town.

       “Well, I started off by seeing my friend Robert. We walked for a little while and talked. Then he eventually went a different way off to his work while I went to the post office. There was a huge line, so I waited in that for a little, but once I was done, I headed towards my old work. I took a little walk, bought the newspaper until I made it to my old work to get an interview-”

       “Wait! An interview!? Did you get the job? How did it go?” she begged, looking at me, hoping for the best news ever with her eyes as large as an owl’s.

       “The interview went well, but I won’t know till 5 pm, which is when I have to call them to see if I made the job.” 

       “Drop dead, Gordy,” she said with her mouth open in shock.

       “I am not lying. However, when I was walking back,  I happened to come across George-” I said slowly, turning down my excitement. 

       “That man is an a&%$#@*,” she stated disgustedly, “What did he say to you today?” 

       “Oh, he really went hotshot on me today, bragging about how he is not going to get free lunch. I just went on and quickly kept walking,” I said.

       “It sounds like your day has been good, and we might have deep pockets soon,” she proclaimed, smiling, “Now I have to get back to cleaning; the children will be home soon.” 

       “Alright, I am just going to sit on the couch and listen to the radio,” I proposed, ready to just relax and release my nerves.

        “Okay, but don’t get all nervous about your job, we will be fine,” Mary said, rubbing my back as I stood up. I walked towards our brown couch that felt like a pillow. 

       The couch was nice to sit on, comfy after standing and walking all day. I turned up the radio, and the news station was on. It was hot, and the meteorologist said that too. The house was cooler, but definitely not cold. Now we just had to wait for the kids to get home. I hummed and hummed to the music after I changed the channel.  

       Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat. I could slowly hear it become faster and faster. I looked out the window and saw dust flying behind three of my children. Then the door swung open and three kids walked in, hot, sweaty, and stinky. I turned down the radio and stood up from the comfy couch just to see my kids. 

       They first ran up to see Mary, and then me next. As they ran over they gave me a big hug and wrapped their arms around me. 

       “Pee-yoo! You guys are stinky,” I said, whipping my hand back and forth across my face, “Did you guys run all the way home from school right from recess?”

       “Ha ha, Dad! We ran home because we were excited to see you!” Joseph answered, and then I could see all of their teeth.

       “Well, how was your day?” I asked all of them. 

       Then they all answered back with, “Fineeeee.” 

       “Alright, well that is good!” I proclaimed, smiling down at them. I walked back over to the couch until Mary and all the children sat down at the dinner table. We usually sat at the table to eat or talk. I didn’t hear any plates clang and didn’t smell anything getting cooked up, so it probably meant we needed to talk about my job.

       I didn’t know if I was ready for this; I felt like this was going to be the longest conversation in the world. I started to walk over politely and eventually sat down between Mary and the oldest, Wayne. 

       “So, Gordon, what do you need to tell the kids?” asked Mary, looking me straight in the eyes. 

       “Well,” I said, following with a big gulp, “I have not had a job for the past two or three weeks, and we are running short of what to do.”

       “Well, Gordon, that is the bad news, but now you have to lead with the good news,” she begged, her eyes enlarging. 

       “I did an interview today, and I am going to see if I get the job around 5pm, so I have to leave at 4:30,” I said, straightening up. I did feel much better after telling the children.

       “Dad, many people are unemployed, so it is okay if you are one of them,” said Wayne.  

       The room went dead. I stood up and walked back to the couch with nothing to say. I can’t believe Mary would make me do that! Why couldn’t she have just waited until I saw if I got the job yet or not.  I was annoyed, and I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. It was now almost 3:45pm. I just sat there until I remembered I had the rest of the newspaper to read. That let me just focus on that and not on anything else going on around me. 

       My wrist watch struck 4:30. I had to get going! I can't believe I almost forgot. I just wanted to take a little nap. I checked my pockets. The paper was still there with the phone number on it. I quickly ran out of the house onto the street. 

       I decided to walk for a little while. However, I quickly remembered that the telephone booth gets busy at 5 pm, so I needed to get there now. I started to run.

       I could see the red dot up ahead, and it didn’t look like there were many humans next to it. I was panting, but I just kept running. I needed to get there fast or I would definitely not get the job. 

       I was  next to the last person in line. It was now 4:45. There was a limit for some calls. All these people had the limit, including me. I waited and waited. Still Brother, Can you Spare me a Dime stuck in my head. Hopefully soon no one would have to give me money except for my work. I tapped my foot until I was right next to the glass windows.

       This was the moment. I started to question myself if I should even call. It would probably just be another disappointment. Maybe I will have some deep pockets sooner than later. 

       It was my turn now. I opened the door and stepped into the little room. I pulled out the piece of paper, placed it in my hand, popped out ten cents and put it into the machine. I quickly dialed it up. It was about to hit 5 o’clock, so there was no time to mess up. I typed in the digits. 

       SO-boss-27

       The phone started to ring. I was ready for the good news, but I was also ready for the end. I was tapping my feet, and I started to sweat. It wasn’t hot here, but I was still sweating, just waiting and waiting and waiting for someone to answer. Then finally, “Hello, this is Substantial Oil! How may I help you?” said a voice of a lady that I remembered vaguely. Oh, right! She is the receptionist that helped me before.

       “Good evening, this is Gordon Rogers on the phone. I am here to see if I made it to work at the company,” I stated, shaking but trying to sound confident.

       “Oh yes! Well the boss is busy right now, but I have your results,” she responded, happily.

       “Okay, so what are the results?” I asked, looking at the ceiling of the telephone booth.

       “We are sorry to inform you that you didn’t quite get the job. You were a very good candidate, and we were happy that you thought our company would be right for you,” she explained, her voice slowly becoming unhappy. I was shaking, I wanted to cry. However, I couldn’t; there were people outside, and they would see me through all the little square windows. 

       “Okay. Thank you for letting me know,” I said. My eyes were watering, and I just hung up. There was no point in saying bye. I left the booth and let the next person go in; I didn’t want anyone getting mad at me.  I quickly walked home and tried to not see anyone I knew. 

       The sun started to reach the edge of the vast lands with buildings on them. I was practically right next to my house. I swung open the door and saw all the children and Mary sitting at the table, smiling, waiting for me to start eating dinner. I looked at them in shame, and slowly their teeth started to disappear. 

       “Hello, I am so glad you made it home. What are the results?” Mary asked, looking at me eagerly, hoping I said that it went well. I closed the door and kicked off my shoes. I slowly started to walk towards them with a straight face. I pulled out my chair and sat down. I looked at the food and started eating. They followed. 

       “So Dad, did you get the job?” said Sally, showing her pearly whites. 

       “Well, um,” I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to lead with good news. “No, but I did put a letter in the mail to apply for a job a little farther away, so maybe that can help!” I responded with, slowly starting to make a worried smile. 

       “Well, that’s alright. At least we know you have another chance. Now let’s just eat, and kids, tell us about your day!” Mary insisted, smiling and looking at everyone. The kids started individually talking about their day, but I wasn’t really listening. I just thought about how much of a disappointment  I was. I was sure I was going to get that job.

       We eventually were all done with dinner, so, I brought my dish with the floral design over to the sink. I didn’t want to talk to anyone; I just wanted to be in my own world. Mary started to clean up all the dishes. The kids were still happy and decided to go outside to play with the neighborhood kids. 

       I started to walk over to the couch.  Looking at the floor, I felt disappointed. Why could I not get a job?  Why did I have to suffer? I needed money for my family,  not for me. MY FAMILY! 

       I just listened to the low radio. I wanted to cry, scream, and lay on the couch, kicking my feet. However, I couldn’t do that, I just had to keep sitting. I was done. I didn’t even want to look for another job. I was defeated.

-Isla B.