De-realization

          De-realization: A feeling that one’s surroundings are not real. A feeling of distance, emotionally and physically. The ineptitude to perceive one’s own existence and the existence of others. The failure to discern reality from imagination. The fruitless triumphs one shall undergo to devoid themselves of nothingness. The unwanted removal of feeling, love, and a sense of reality. All of these definitions immaculately describe the sorrow I underwent. The sorrow that burdened me as if it lasted three score and four years. It’s impossible to comprehend, even if you’ve experienced it for yourself.

 

 

“If you are going through hell, keep going”

-Winston Churchill

 

 

Incomprehension

 

            I was always one to prefer the caliginosity of the night and its peacefulness. However, that night was a contrast. There I lay in my bed, gaze narrowing, mind drifting. I was practically asleep when it all began. What if there is no God? The words pummeled me. Emotions I had never once experienced panged me as the thought grew upon me. The intrusive thought echoed, but not quite; an echo grows quieter. An echo dies off. However, this thought grew louder and louder as it tore apart my conscience. I fought the thought away, but I was accosted yet again. What if there is no God? A question a mere mortal could not answer. It was far beyond my comprehension. I began to panic, but not quite. Panic is the sense of fleeting common sense and adrenaline.

What I was feeling was indescribable. Describing this emotion accurately would be as difficult as imagining a new color: nearly impossible. My face was still, as if it was encased in stone. I gazed at the empty ceiling as if I had seen a ghastly being. I envisioned my soul transcending into the cyclic void. The question sparked something infinitely deeper than I had previously thought. I had pondered God's existence before. It wasn’t nearly as intrusive. Upon questioning God’s existence, I would brush it off. I believe the difference this time around was that I began questioning the underlying consequences of a nonexistent God. As a child, death was my greatest fear. However, the existence of a heaven comforted that fear. If there was no heaven and no God, then what comes after life? That’s what shook me to the core. Tears dribbled down my cheeks all through the night like a leaky faucet, nonstop.

 

 

“Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at

the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that

 everything happens for a reason.”

 

-Anonymous

 

 

Uncertainty

 

I awoke the next morning with white streaks running down my cheeks from the tears. Something was off; I could feel it. A feeling of detachment clung to my being like a parasite. Streaks of light beamed through my window. I would often feel relieved to see the morning’s blessing upon my window; today was a contrast. The beauty that was once there was gone. The once beautifully golden beams of sunshine now appeared dull and empty.

I arose from the comfort of my bed and embarked on a day of uncertainty. Everything around me was familiar yet distant all at once. I missed the sense of touch and feel that was once present. The feeling of my bare feet caressing my cold floor had disappeared. The feeling of tiredness that lingered after waking up was no longer there. I felt scared, and alone.

I didn’t want to, but I forced myself to get myself prepared for the long day ahead of me. Every second was a struggle; every second was uncertain. I constantly thought about my existence. I don’t understand. Am I real? Is anything real? I forced myself to hold back the oncoming tears.

As I entered the shower, my bottom lip began to tremble. There was no warmth. The once steamily hot water was now cold, but not quite; cold is the opposite of warm, but what I was experiencing wasn’t the sensation of cold. It was indescribable, nearly impossible to comprehend myself. A lone tear trickled down my cheek. It became indistinguishable amongst the heavy flow of water, similar to my senses. I failed to distinguish love from hate, happiness from sadness, light from darkness, and worst of all, reality from imagination. My conscience began to dismantle itself as the unfamiliar water caressed my body, also, very unfamiliar.

The obnoxious yet effervescent conversations that panged my eardrums on the morning bus ride fell upon deaf ears. My mind was somewhere distant. It was as if my very soul was attempting to communicate with me from somewhere beyond. Time moved as if it was molasses but not nearly as sweet. These were dark times for me to endure.

 

 

“Never stop because you feel defeated. The journey to the other side is attainable only after great suffering”

-Santosh Kalwar

 

 

 

Isolation

 

It was the day after winter break came to an end. Children began to chatter aloud whilst we awaited the arrival of our teachers. I traversed into the naive sea of students. A prodigious sense of poignancy coursed through my veins. The sense of isolation unleashed havoc on my mental state of mind. Look at all of these kids glimmering with joly ole glee! You wish you could be like them, don’t you? You long for the sense of reality, don’t you? Pathetic. The sense of reality began to linger from somewhere beyond; it was as if reality was the comforting smell of a distant barbeque; you acknowledge the scent but can’t seem to figure out where it’s coming from and what it truly is.

Children blitzed into the cafeteria as if they were a pack of hyenas, feet stomping, mouths chomping. The sound of wet sneakers pierced my ears as the shoes of many slid across the glossy floors. The light began to fade, darker yet darker, until the apex dawned upon me. I was abandoned like a dog in a cage, except the dog apprehended itself. Noise rang out, a familiar one. The muffled noise transformed into an optimistic voice, “It’s my birthday.” I couldn’t care less. I truthfully despised to hear the once euphonious news.  The optimistic voice was my friend, Jack. A year ago I would’ve been delighted to hear the pleasant news; this year was a contrast. Instead of responding and congratulating him for yet another year of life, I glowered. I never knew the isolation the absence of emotion could wreak upon a soul.

I continued the rest of my day in complete silence.

 

 

 

“Like all things, triumph is rewarded with the blessing of progression. You must learn and overcome, failure is inevitable otherwise”

-Anonymous

 

 

 

Freedom

 

The clutch of the crimson hands was unprecedented. I drowned in the chronic cries of laughter as the nightmarish figures chanted harmoniously in pure hatred. I attempted to escape the everlasting grasp, yet my attempts were futile, or so I thought. The devilish bellows haunted the darkest corner of my existence. I pleaded for the torments to cease, yet my triumphs were fruitless. The wicked warlock descended from his throne. He sent a blazing inferno coursing through my body, writhing me in pain. He gazed into my being with wide, amused eyes. I thought there was no escape. As the torture continued I drove myself further and further from the people I loved. Little did I know that the face of evil before me was nothing but myself.

I never came to the realization that I was raging war on myself. There was no enemy but myself. In order to put an end to my agony and devoid myself of nothingness, I had to delve further. I had to delve to the depths of my sanity to find the source of my pain. Repetition. An epiphany struck me as if it was lightning. I encountered a sudden flashback, a flashback tracing back to the beginning of the madness. What was it that frightened me the most? The cyclic void.

I was astounded with my realization. The clock ticked periodically with the passing of time as I slowly drifted back to the place I belonged. Reality.

 

 

 

 

Reflection

As I grow physically, I grow mentally. Writing this essay helped me progress as a person and unlock my repressed memories. My mind attempted to shut out the damning memories, but history repeats itself. We can create a better future by remembering the horrid past. I intend for this essay to serve as a message to anyone struggling with mental health: there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. However obvious that may seem, it’s true. No matter how difficult it is to break free, persevere. If I could do it then, so can you. Don’t let the cold darkness of the night prevent you from feeling the warmth of the sun.

 

 

 

 

-Judah

 

“Should I listen, or should I not listen?” Sometimes you know you should listen, but you decide not to even though you know, deep down, that you should consider listening to what others say. This is about a time when I was told not to do something, but I went ahead. And well, it didn’t go well……….

          It started out as an exquisite summer day, and my cousin Livon had come over to my house. We were thinking about what we should do. Then after a couple of minutes, I stated, “Hey Livon, wanna play tag?”

With elation, he responded, “Yeah! Let’s do it.” My cousin was the tagger, and I started to swiftly sprint to my backyard where there was an old and rusty fence that I was able to climb over, but it was made of metal and rigid.

My clever dad saw me and immediately knew what I was going to do, and then he exclaimed, “Don’t climb over it, you’ll hurt yourself!”

          So then I sprinted around, and we kept on tagging each other. After that, my cousin was the tagger, and I ran to my vast backyard; I saw the fence, and an abundance of good and bad thoughts ran through my head.  Don’t do it George, you’ll hurt yourself. Do it George, it’s gonna be legendary!!! So despite what my dad stated, I decided to go for it.

With all the mighty speed that I was able to converge, I went for it! I jumped over an aged tree that was cut down and put my foot on the bark of it and launched myself over the fence. I felt like Superman, like I was flying at the moment. Then I felt my foot not moving, and the next thing I know is that I’m on the floor face-planted with wood chips on my face. I felt tears rolling down my face, and I heard Livon hastily sprinting over to me as he saw me on the ground with my foot all scratched up by the rigid metal. He came over to me and saw me in ghastly pain, then he dashed to my parents, and I saw them zooming over to me. 

My dad, understanding that I was having a noticeably difficult time getting up, picked me up with ease and brought me into our house. I was unaware of what my horrendous foot looked like, and when I looked down, I was stunned. It had looked like a monster had scratched my foot because there were horrifying red lines all over my foot. My parents were applying medine and other items because the fence was rusty and I might have gotten an infection.

After they were done cleaning me up, and we were settled down, my dad had decided to have a serious talk to me about what had happened. “George, I had told you not to try to jump over the fence.”

Then I, understanding what had happened, responded,“I’m sorry, Dad, I should have listened to you.”

To this day, I remember that event that had happened to me years ago! I had learned a valuable lesson that day, which was to always listen to what wise people tell you. They could be older or even younger. My dad told me not to jump because he was well aware of the consequences that could have happened. I also learned another important lesson, which was to always think before you act. If I had thought of the terrible consequences then, I definitely wouldn’t have tried to attempt the stunt. Now I always think about the consequences of my actions and take the advice of people older and younger than me, which I believe is right.

 

 

-George

 

 

With 7.6 billion people actively interacting and living on this planet, it is almost absolutely certain that we have come across some miraculous events that took overwhelming amounts of luck. But luck doesn’t always come your way when you need it most. The chances of something happening are very slim, and sometimes you cannot expect anything. Although this may be the case sometimes, we still have to look on the bright side of things and tell ourselves that nothing is impossible. There could be a matter of seconds before you open your eyes to a miracle.  Here is one of those moments where I had the most unexpected plot twists of my life.

It all began when we parked in the parking lot of my elementary school. Just thinking about it gives me overwhelming nostalgia for all of the other memories I have experienced there. We strolled through the main door and headed towards the cafeteria where the Winter Party was starting. My mind was still engaging in the raffles that we had put into the jar the day before.

After waiting for a few minutes, the principal stepped into the front of the crowded tables of people eager to find out if the precious slips of paper they had put into the jar had won anything. The principal soon announced the commencing of the raffle ticket event that is hosted annually. The first few raffle prizes were small, which I wasn’t too excited to see if I had won. After the first few excited winners were called, the real prizes started being called. I waited for my name to be called, but it just never happened. Winner to winner, every time someone was called up, I got less hopeful. It had seemed like all of the raffles I had hoped to win had already been taken. I had started to think that this wasn’t my year.

          As the last raffle was called, all of my energy and hope had seemed to have drained out of my body. Suddenly, the principal came back up to the stage. He announced that there was one more selection that everyone must’ve forgotten about. It was the “Principal of the Day” selection, the most important one that sat as the biggest jar right on the far right of the jar table. I had put a raffle in the last one just to see if I could give it a try even though my chances were really low. There had seemed to be almost 80 to 90 tickets in that one, which makes it even harder to win. I knew that this was my last chance, so I listened silently as they announced the winner.

“And the winner of our “Principal of the Day” raffle is...Young Xu!”

          I suddenly gained monstrous energy. It was as if all of the enthusiasm that I had lost had suddenly come back to me. My heart was rapidly racing as I stood up and proudly walked up to the front where I was awarded a colorful certificate with a bright and bold “Principal of the Day” printed onto it.

          A million questions popped into my head as we rode home peacefully. How had I been selected out of all of those tickets? How had my slip of paper been caught into the principal’s palm as he reached in to grab it? Amazed, I was almost more astonished about the odds of how that happened than my actual prize. Once I got home, I rethought everything that had just happened. It almost seemed surreal.

          Although this event may have not been as vast as some other miraculous achievements, it is still indulged in my heart, telling me that nothing is impossible even when it may seem like it. Something as small as winning a raffle ticket can compare to winning a lottery. You get the same sensation as your name is called, or the winning pattern is glimmering on your eyes, as you scratch the final hidden symbol off. The sensation where you suddenly rethink what had just happened and finally realise that life is full of unexpected events. Nothing can be expected, even if the odds disagree. Sometimes you just have to “expect for the worst, hope for the best.”

 

 

-Young

 

 

Are you ever losing by a lot, and when you are, do you ever give up? Giving up is the worst thing you can do, whether it is something you are trying to learn, something you are trying to overcome, or something you are trying to win.  I was once losing in the most important football game of my life, but I didn’t stop trying, and I learned the important skill of perseverance.

Waiting in the frigid air with an immense coat over my pads, I was numb. Disappointment filled the air as the Guilderland team before us had lost their championship game. Promenading around in what seemed like below zero weather, trying to keep warm, I knew it was going to be cold, but not this cold. The butterflies in my stomach felt more like pigeons because I was anxious of what would come from this game. Eventually, we started to warm up as a team, which created even more hesitancy because we would now be much closer to game time. We weighed in, and then went into a small shed. Our coach gave a gavalizing speech, and we were all ready and hyped up for the game.

The hype of our team and all of our energy slowly went down as the game started, considering we weren’t able to do anything on offense and they scored in less than four plays. Most of the team had already given up. We started to become lazy and not care; we all thought we were going to lose. Half time came, and you could feel the bad energy. We could hear the disappointment in our coach’s words. We had to pick up the pace.  We still had another half, and we weren’t going to give up.

Coming into the second half the score was six to nothing...they were winning.  But we now had the ball. We kept trying to run inside but soon realized that was not working for us. It was too late to switch it though because the other team got the ball from a fumble. They ran the ball, getting many yards, and were now at our twenty-yard line. Anger filled our veins; they were about to score again, but we stepped up and stopped them, forcing them to punt.

 Our coach called for a jet sweep to me. I was ready to sprint as hard as I could. I got the ball and immediately saw that there was a lot of open field for a good twenty yards. Sprinting as fast as I could, I gained sixteen yards before getting hit; I drove my shoulder right into him as more of his teammates came to help. I got an additional six yards after the hit and was now hyped up. The next play was the same play, yet now to the other side. I was lined up on the other side of the ball as the whole other team and their coaches were screaming to watch for me getting the ball. Hearing that gave me even more excitement. I could feel my heart pounding. I could tell this would be a big run. The play started, and the cold rock-hard ball was put into my frozen hands. I got past two people, then three, the crowd screaming. But it was all a blur. The only thing my mind was set on was scoring, and winning this game. I cut in, then back out, and was in the endzone.

“TOUCHDOWN TOMMY DWYER!” a kid yelled over the speaker. The whole team came running to the endzone. You could feel the excitement among us. 

After that touchdown, we were more alive, and we knew that we were back in the game and could still win it. We got another touchdown, the score was now thirteen to twelve, and we were winning. It was now the fourth quarter, and they just got the ball back from us. If they scored here we would lose.

“We need a stop here, boys!” our coach yelled. On the first play, they ran for twenty yards. The pigeons flew right back into my stomach, yet they now felt not like butterflies, or pigeons, but vultures. It was looking like we wouldn’t be able to stop them. They kept running and running down the field. We finally got a stop, and then another. Soon enough it was fourth down. This one play determined the entire game. They gave the ball to a massive kid; he was probably double my size and terrifying. He was running to my side and gaining speed. He only needed five more yards to get the first down, but… I pushed him out of bounds before he made it there. At that point we all knew we won the game. The entire team came running to me, and they all jumped on top of me; it felt like a truck was parked on me. Everyone was yelling and shouting, even our coaches. You would have thought each of us won the lottery. The excitement slowly died out as we went over to get the championship trophy. The whole team was still talking about it weeks later.

When you are losing, never give up. That day when I had that game,  I learned an important skill. That skill is perseverance. When I was losing in that game I didn’t quit; I tried even harder.  Trying harder ended up with us winning. Always push yourself and never quit.

 

 

-Tommy

 

Have you ever done something on impulse and ended up regretting it later? I’ve certainly done that before. There is a saying, “think before you speak,” which ends up important for any situation. Because I didn’t think something through, I ended up embarrassing myself and others.

How had I even got into this situation in the first place? How had I agreed to this without a second thought? Yet here I was, simply observing as cars approached from all directions, people honking and hollering in confusion, two of my friends hurriedly trying to cross the road without being absolutely obliterated by cars. Yeah, all I wanted to do was restart the day over again without agreeing to this absolutely bonkers bike ride.

It all started on a languid August afternoon. I was traversing a creek with two of my close friends at the time, Amanda and Adele. Well.... it was more like they were. Knelt on a large coarse rock, I attempted to fling a shiny pebble to the other side of the creek.  I observed the pebble soar through the air and then promptly land smack-dab in the middle of the creek with a plop.  I tried again.  My mind started to wander. By the time I had flung the most-likely thirteenth pebble onto the other side of the creek, I felt a knock on my shoulder. Turns out that while I was distracted Amanda and Adele decided they were going to try and bike to a tea shop -- on a main road. They were also apparently bringing Adele’s little sister, Irene. Alarm bells started ringing in my head at the thought. I should have known better considering I’ve only biked on main roads with my mom. They did say that we would take back roads that were safe.  But I had to lend my bike to my sister in 40 minutes, and I had a reunion with my friends from elementary school too. Yet I shoved those thoughts aside for the sake of why not?

Even before we got to the intersection everything had started to go downhill. We managed to get out of our neighborhood and passed the gas station before we met our first hiccup. After 20 minutes of riding through countless neighborhoods that took us nowhere, Amanda realized that the GPS we were using wasn’t all that accurate. We based the time it would take us to get there by car distance! Then we realized that it was already two fifty-six --holy moly. I had to get my bike back to my sister in fifteen minutes, my goodness!  We realized that it was entirely impossible to make it to the tea shop altogether.  We had to make a decision: do we continue to persevere through this ultimately meaningless journey or just go home? We decided on the latter. Now even as comedic as I make this sound,  I was actually exhausted to the point where I literally didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to go home and never think of this again. If only I had known it would get so much worse.

Back to where we are now. Completely ignoring Irene's rising panic, Amanda wiped a bead off her chin and looked both ways before whispering in Irene’s ear to go. Then with an indescribable look on her face, she hightailed it out of there with Irene in-tow. Taking Amanda's example, Adele peddled her bike faster than I’d ever witnessed before, shouted at me to come with her and took off. I was feeling so many emotions at that point in time I didn’t know what else to do, so I skedaddled along with them.

Once we had gotten back to the safety of our neighborhood I took a moment to collect my bearings. Honestly, the only thing I could think was that I was so done. Just by making one decision my delightful morning and early afternoon had figuratively crashed and burned. Everyone was silent now. The only noise heard being the pitiful squeaks of my bike, who seemed equally as exhausted as I was, and the occasional  skittering of rocks.

“Well, that didn’t go so well.” With one sentence, the tense silence spell broke and everyone started…. laughing? I didn’t get why they were so happy all of a sudden. I was still extremely embarrassed and had assumed they were too. Everyone started chatting, but I was too frazzled to even get a word out. They proposed that we should go again, and that’s when I started fuming. Now, I consider myself a generally calm person; that was crossing the line though. I scavenged my brain for some semblance of a reason why? How they could have possibly wanted to go through what felt like utter torture to me? I kept my thoughts to myself, but I could feel all of my anger and bewilderment festering together inside me, waiting to be released.

I calmed down once I got home, but I was much more frustrated with myself and the circumstances than I am with them now. I shouldn't have gone along with their idea. I mean, we were twelve for goodness sake! We were way too young to go on adventures like that in the first place. Yet I know I can’t change the past, but at least I now know when not to go along with an idea with which I don’t agree. Hopefully you can learn from my experience. When making any decision, you should always think it through and not go along with something unless you actually agree with it.

 

 

-Hannah

 

Have you experienced a death in your family? Well if you have it is very possible that you blame yourself. You might blame yourself because you have no answers, which can make you feel discouraged.

During his life he spent a lot of time in his walker or sleeping. Most of the time I was at school, but I tried to spend the most time with him as I  could.  On one of the days I was home on the weekend he slept on my arm until the point where I could not feel it anymore.   Another time was when we set off to a hotel in Lake George and went swimming. He was wearing his blue semi-inflated floaty, and I was swimming normally; as a joke I had him dunk me under the water. PLOOP.  My head went under like a bowling ball in the water, and his face lit up in excitement like he invented the wheel or electricity.     

On November 10, 2014 it was a cold but beautiful day. I went to school and did some math.  When I finally went home, my mom picked me up, not so enthusiastically.  Her face was as pink as a chery and blushed, but I did not think anything of it. I nudged in, and all my saddened family was there. I parked my stuff down and plopped down on the couch. 

“Hey Bud, come here, please." So I walked in the kitchen packed with people, and my mom said in a confused voice, “Alex, I have some bad news, your brother just passed away." I felt the pain of the news, and I felt it was my fault because it was so hard to bear the loss, so I tried to blame it on myself. Then the tears were coming to life and running down my face like Usain Bolt running the hundred meter. I ran into my room and balled my eyes out, trying to escape what I just heard. One reason that I blamed myself is the sadness of losing him.

There are a couple ways that helped me overcome blaming myself.  When I started socializing I did not think about anything. I found this out by going and playing with my friends or playing video games; this helped me cope with my emotions. One example is I went to the store to get some food as one would and I saw one of my friends there. We got talking about this new game that came out recently. It was Uncharted 4 that we both had; I had the first canon mission done, and we rambled on until our moms said, "let’s go, we have to shop.”  That was the best memory that I had from getting over blaming myself.    From this day forward  we go to the cemetery on Sundays, holidays, and birthdays, another instance that helped me with getting over the feeling of blaming myself because it got me a chance to "see him” again; until this day we do it consistently. 

I felt in the beginning of the news that I was alone and I had no answers, so I blamed myself, and that should not be the case if you're going through anything like what I went through.    There are lots of ways to get away from blaming yourself. I learned that you should not blame yourself about something you can not control.

 

 

-Alex

 

Have you ever stressed yourself out about something you can’t control? Sometimes you need to stress, but sometimes it only makes things worse.  Some people get stressed about everything; others stress about barely anything. Is it better to stress or not to stress? Well, in this situation, I did stress…

It was a stormy and grey Wednesday evening. I was calmly sitting at my desk doing schoolwork and listening to the heavy rain drops relinquish on my windows and roof, and I could hear the wind dancing with the swaying trees. The lightning exploding behind the clouds made the whole sky light up. Roaring thunder blew up the sky. The glowing screen of my chromebook switched from my homework to a small dinosaur and the words, no connection. Suddenly, a blaring and heartstopping boom pummeled my ears. The house viciously trembled, and so did I. It was like an earthquake. The lights flickered off, and a blanket of darkness circled around me. Was that thunder? No, this noise was way too loud to be thun- I didn’t have time to finish my thought before I heard my dad yelling.  “GET IN THE BASEMENT, NOW!” he shouted continually.

Legs shaking, heart pounding, I sprinted to the stairs. My heart was beating like a drum, but it was not making an enjoyable tune. It felt like my heart was trying to free itself from my chest. My legs felt numb as I swiftly flew down the two flights of stairs. I skipped over most of the steps. My mom, my brother and I were in the dark, freezing basement. My dad was looking to see what had happened, the frigid floor biting at my bare feet. I heard a clicking noise, and the lightbulb from a sage green electric lantern dully radiated light, making the basement glow with soft, creamy white light and creating hard shadows. Within a few minutes the power flickered back on, and my mom meticulously went upstairs.

I sat on the unwelcoming basement floor. The smooth, cement floor was as cold as ice, but I barely noticed. I was trying to calm myself down, but my legs were still vigorously shaking. What was that noise? I couldn’t grasp what was happening. The lights flickered out but turned back on a few seconds later.

“Kids, you can come back up now!” my mom shouted; she was wearing the yellow rain coat that previously belonged to my grandma. I cautiously walked up the stairs. I could still hear the thump thump of the massive rain and the wind thrusting the trees. I was almost to the top of the stairs when I heard another blaring BANG. This wasn’t as loud as the noise I heard earlier but was still earsplitting. I ran back to the basement, millions of scenarios rushing through my head on what had happened and what would happen next.

After about ten long, tedious minutes, my parents said we could come back up, and this time it was truly, finally over. As I walked up to the top of the stairs I saw a humongous tree pressed against the top of my house, branches going every which way in my yard and another tree that had crashed into my shed roof. My deck railing was done for. My mom went out the front door and ran into the backyard. I stopped at the door, slipping my crocs onto my numb feet. Then I followed my mom. What would the house look like from the outside? I thought.

As we anxiously turned the corner into my backyard I looked at the tree in awe. Sap covered the grass and made sounds when you walked. The air was heavy and damp. The smell of wet lumber wafted through the air. It was surreal. My whole backyard was covered either by the astounding tree or the gigantic branches. I could see the tree pressed against my house, and I could feel the stress pressed on my chest as apprehensive thoughts churned in my head; What if we have to move? How long will it take to fix this? Where's my dad? I meticulously walked through my yard to get to where my mom was standing, and as I calmed my nerves, I realized that everything was going to be okay.

When I think about it now, I realize that I acquired something from that experience. I learned that you can’t stress about the things you can’t control. Sometimes when you are thrown in a bad situation and you are stressed out, you need to slow down and think, Is stressing out going to help or hurt this situation? In my case it was just going to make me even more on edge than I already was. Sometimes stress is good, but in my case it didn’t help at all.

 

 

-Ella