A Nervous Night at the Concert

I could not wait for it…I could not wait for it any longer. I felt like there were 48 hours in a full day in November. At last I got through it. On the day of the concert, the clock stalled as if it were broken; I was just sitting there.

          My family and I raced into the car. I was so nervous. I felt like I didn't want to go on stage. I felt optimistic that our rehearsals were great. The trombone stood ready. I was ready to go onstage.

I was so excited for the concert; I knew the rehearsals were great. But once I got in the car I was nervous and stressed. But I would not let these feelings take advantage of me. The left side of my brain was telling me,  “Don't go on stage!”  My bones felt as hard as a rock; I felt like I was touched by Medusa but said to myself, “I need to have courage." I told myself, “I am nervous, but I am going on anyway.”

I glanced at the quiet chair next to me. Upon it sat quietly a trombone all alone. No, no one was holding it. Its player seemed to have left it all alone. I then wondered about what the band leader must be thinking; what if she was gripped by nerves also? What if the child who played that trombone beside me just took off, wasn't going to show up, abandoned the concert? What would she do? What if Jim accidentally whacked the sax player in the back of the head with the trombone slide? What if Susie accidentally poked Janice in the eye with a violin bow? What if Sally fell off the stage? What was the leader thinking? If any of this happens what would the parents think? What would the principal do to her? What would be the remedy for nervousness now? More courage?

As things began to settle down, the director told all of the children to smile, and with all the charm of a Kim Jong-Un, she firmly enforced the joy. Then, almost like a pitcher on the mound with a 3-2 count, she lined up her skirt, picked on her blouse, her necklace, motioned her hand as if to crack her knuckles and raised her baton. Well, things are now moving so quickly, maybe the only answer for me straightaway is just one big deep breath….Ahhh! “We are all in it together,” I told myself and felt a little better. I am glad the conductor is keeping herself together.

It was about to begin. Fourth grade was the first group to play. I drew in another big deep breath, which happened to help. I reminded myself how much I practiced and the kind words of encouragement of my teacher and my family. I no longer felt Medusa’s touch. I was loosening up. The band conductor raised her baton, and we played our first piece. I was no longer afraid. I felt like all the practice paid off. I felt more confident. I guess courage is essential while confidence is something else and can grow with practice.

Oh yes, about the fellow who left his trombone alone on his seat. He returned. When the chorus was singing he sat on his trombone. It cracked! See how nervousness gets people to get into awful situations like that? Upon reflection, when one develops a skill, he may unexpectedly learn other skills that he can apply to other areas in life. It seems so important for us to control nervousness whether onstage, in front of many strangers or beside small groups of people we know. One way to stop nervousness is through confidence developed by practice, calling on courage, or maybe just a simple deep breath. And remember, if we happen to be in a group, we are all in it together.

-Michael Pontisakos