Do you ever feel
hopeless? Like you can’t overcome a problem? Feeling like you should just give
up? Well, a great way to overcome those challenges and obstacles is to think of
positive things. I like to think of positive traits, especially the character
trait perseverance. I love to think of perseverance because of how my friend Patty used it.
The character trait
perseverance is the determination to do something in spite of it being tough or
difficult. That is exactly how my friend, Patty, used and still uses that
trait.
Last year for Patty was
rough. A lot happened to her, including two of her family members passing away
and her dog dying. Because of all of that and more, Patty was never in school.
She missed over half of the school year last year, leading to her awful grades
and her failing. As things started to
get worse, she took out her emotions in negative ways, resulting in
self-harm, self-hate, and suicidal thoughts. She became depressed.
Seeing this happen, Patty’s
family decided to put her in a mental hospital; she was there for three weeks.
The mental hospital allowed her to use chromebooks, and while she was in the
mental hospital she managed to do all her missing work with her chromebook. She
also took the time to really focus on her mental health. She got lots of sleep,
made sure she ate enough everyday, and she went to therapy twice a day. She
also met with her medical doctor weekly and got put on medication. She
eventually stopped having those negative thoughts that she had before. She was
passing all of her classes now, and when she came back she was so much happier.
Patty is now living a
great life because she persevered through her family members passing away, her
dog dying, failing school, and, at first, coping in negative ways to help her through her challenges. That is why
perseverance is a great trait that anyone can use to help them through
something with which they struggle.
-Eliana M.
This writing piece connected to me because when I was younger I had to over come and persever though lots of things. But the way I overcame those things and did them, I had to use a lot of positive thoughts. I liked a lot of writing skills you used. I really like your introduction. It doesn’t just have one question to engage the reader, it has three. You also say “I like to think of positive traits, especially the character trait perseverance. I love to think of perseverance because of how my friend Patty used it.” Which I think was really important and smart to say to your readers to connect to them so soon in your writing.
ReplyDeleteEliana Masterson
ReplyDeleteThe central idea is perseverance. Because Patty persevered through a lot of obstacles. I like how after all the obstacles Patty went back to school and got her grades up. It says “ Patty is now living a great life because she persevered through her family members passing away.”
Eliana Materson- The central idea of this story is perseverance. I can connect this to my own life because I too give myself negative thoughts sometimes. What Eliana’s friend got through in the story is amazing. I liked Eliana’s support through detail. I liked when she said, “Seeing this happen, Patty’s family decided to put her in a mental hospital; she was there for three weeks. The mental hospital allowed her to use chromebooks, and while she was in the mental hospital she managed to do all her missing work with her chromebook.” This truly shows perseverance.
ReplyDeleteI think that the central idea of this essay was perseverance. Perseverance is a crucial trait that can help anybody overcome a challenge. As you said in the essay, “Patty is now living a great life because she persevered through her family members passing away, her dog dying, failing school, and, at first, coping in negative ways to help her through her challenges.” Patty’s story really showed the reader that perseverance is something that benefits people by helping them through tough times, and it showed me that I should never give up, no matter how hard it gets. You also have a very engaging voice. It kept me hooked until the very end.
ReplyDeletePerseverance is something when things are tough but you still say positive things.Eliana M Was talking about her friend Patty that has 2 family members die and her dog die as well she is depressed. Her parents brought her to a mental hospital,she put a bunch of work on her computer for school. 3 weeks later,She's perfectly fine and she's very positive.
ReplyDeleteEliana I like this piece. I like all the writing skills you did, the organization and the punctuation and more. I liked how you used strong sensory language like perseverance. I love all the positive energy in this piece. I think you did a great job on this piece. I like the way you used very strong evidence in the paragraphs.
ReplyDelete