At first
I felt
nothing.
Then
excruciating
pain.
Then
nothing
Once
again.
I looked
down
To see
her blade
Inside my chest, and my blood
Droplets of sparkling ruby against
The perfect grass
Though I did not
Scream, I did not make any sound
And I looked up, my love, light
He cried, and I said, “Please do not cry,
For I have lived a good life, and perhaps it is just my time"
But still he cried
My vision flickered,
a feeble fight against a
fixed fate, my breathing
Waned like the white moon
that graced the last night’s
sky, but I did not care
It was just my time
Time seemed to stop
And waver around me
The wind felt cold on my
skin, It was a matter of time
Before my time was up
But I did not try to fight
I had lived a good life
Full of adventure and love
Lost time, lost words
And things I wish I hadn’t
said, the memories
brought a tear to my
eye, Even as my
vision failed
For I have lived
a good life, And
perhaps, it
was just
my
time
-Alexa Gabor
.
Excellent job Alexa! The poem was very intriguing, and was well crafted. The poem created a solemn, somber mood that was very clear throughout the lines. I liked how the line, ''Droplets of sparkling ruby against/The perfect grass'' used Imagery to create a clear visualization that helped convey the mood. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteImpressive poem Alexa. At first/I felt/nothing./Then/excruciating/pain/Then/nothing/once/again.I enjoyed how you spaced the poem so it was as if you were stuttering from the pain of a stab wound . I also enjoyed how you ended by slowly fading the line size until it was a one word line to simulate the writer's death from the stab wound.
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