Have you ever felt like everything in a moment depends on
you? The pressure of a crowd of people watching you, waiting for you to mess up
or succeed. Chills going up your spine because you know that you could blow it
for everyone else. That’s how I feel running to the goal and stopping anyone in
my path.
The game was on a soggy field that sprayed dirt everytime you
sprinted. It was the last game of the season, and my first year on a real
school team. The game had just started, and Coach put me on left defense to
start. I would be in charge of Burnt Hills’ strong side. We lost the coin toss,
so they had possession of the ball. This meant all eyes on the defense right
away. Of course, with our luck they drove the ball straight down the field. We
stopped it easily, but it gave them a huge head start. I ran back to defend the
goal; if they got past our center defense I would be there. Them having the
ball made me really nervous; it was a thrill, though. The feeling made
adrenaline rush through me. Our team had a flawless season, undefeated with no
goals scored against us. I didn’t want to mess that up.
Two goals were scored by halftime. That put us in a
comfortable position. As a defender I got to play up the field, almost a
midfielder. It was far more laid back; we were all talking on the sidelines, making up silly cheers. We even had a circle of air dribbling, when you pass
the ball with a scoop or a flick. Basically everyone was super carefree. We
celebrated the end of the season with a great win. I remember at the end we all
ran to Sofia, the goalie, and had a big group hug. It really made us feel like
a team. I felt bitter about the day. It was the end for these people I
considered my friends, but it was also a sweet feeling because we had won a
fair game.
This day was so important to me because it made me feel
intense and confident in myself. That’s why I like field hockey. You’re a part
of a team. It creates so much more than just the sport. These memories I make
with other people change the way I looked at a sport.
-Makenna
Fahsel
The message I got from this piece was pressure. Yes, we all go through is at many points in our lives, and the pressure is relentless and hard to overcome.
ReplyDelete"The pressure of a crowd of people watching you, waiting for you to mess up or succeed."
Above is the quote that I found. I like this because it generally explains: The pressure can tear you down, or just build you up to play harder in the game.
-Chance
I enjoyed reading your paper and I felt like I was right there in the moment. I like how you opened with the question:
ReplyDelete"Have you ever felt like everything in a moment depends on you? The pressure of a crowd of people watching you, waiting for you to mess up or succeed. Chills going up your spine because you know that you could blow it for everyone else."
I like how you opened up with the question because it grabs my attention right away. I also like the next two sentences because it is the same exact way as I feel when I am playing a game. I always put a lot of pressure on myself and I feel it at the highest with everybody watching me. I also feel excited. I can definately relate to what you said.
You also used great descriptive language when you wrote "The game was on a soggy field that sprayed dirt everytime you sprinted."
I can apply your message about playing field hockey to my own life by remembering to set goals and remembering that it feels great to be a part of a team!
Troy
The message that I got from this was where the pressure is on you. I can relate to having a lot of pressure on me. You wrote it very well and made me feel like I was right there watching you. I liked when you said "I felt bitter about the day. It was the end for these people I considered my friends, but it was also a sweet feeling because we had won a fair game." I also like when you told us how you felt that day. It's kind of like the pressure is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteThe message I inferred from this writing piece is pressure. This message definitely has an impact in my life. As I was reading this I realized that you used a very good use of description throughout your writing. When you said, "The game was on a soggy field that sprayed dirt every time you sprinted." I could picture that field like I was actually there because of your use of description in that sentence.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing! I love the sensory language you use to make readers feel as if they're in the moment, like when you wrote,"The game was on a soggy field that sprayed dirt everytime you sprinted. It was the last game of the season, and my first year on a real school team." Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThe message I received from reading your piece was pressure. Them having the ball made me really nervous; it was a thrill, though. The feeling made adrenaline rush through me." This is showing that there is a lot of pressure on her but she was also having fun, enjoying the moment. Makenna used very descriptive language and made me really feel how she was feeling at the time.
ReplyDelete-Riley Messier
I love your use of descriptive language, it really brings the story alive. From your story I learned how pressure can affect you in ways but it can also fuel your determination. The line "This day was so important to me because it made me feel intense and confident in myself.".
ReplyDeleteThe message that I took from your piece was teamwork. "I remember at the end we all ran to Sofia, the goalie, and had a big group hug. It really made us feel like a team. I felt bitter about the day. It was the end for these people I considered my friends, but it was also a sweet feeling because we had won a fair game." This really helps us understand how happy you were that you had won.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your piece! I love the figurative language you threw in there. It really made the piece feel 3D instead of 2D. I love how I can make myself emerged into the story and feel the determination that you have taught me in this story. This way, if I ever encounter a part in life where I feel like giving up or causing a mess, I'll stop and think for a moment. I will fill my head with determination and head straight like a bull head first. I also like the suspension built up when the ball was coming towards the goal and you. Such as, "Them having the ball made me really nervous; it was a thrill, though. The feeling made adrenaline rush through me. Our team had a flawless season, undefeated with no goals scored against us. I didn’t want to mess that up." Also, I like how the whole story is short and sweet, and still manages to deliver out the message entirely!
ReplyDeleteThe message I got from this was pressure and how pressure effacts people. In the text it says "The pressure of a crowd of people watching you, waiting for you to mess up or succeed." This shows how all the people watching can make you scared but you still have to do it. I am under pressure when I have to try and hit in softball because if I do not then I let my whole team down.
ReplyDeleteThe message that I received from your writing piece was not cracking under intense pressure from peers. "The pressure of a crowd of people watching you, waiting for you to mess up or succeed". I'm not really someone who works well with a team, but I understand that the moment of celebration can be exiting.
ReplyDeleteI loved how you added such details that made me feel like I was there in the moment! "These memories I make with other people change the way I looked at a sport." I can relate to this because when I play basketball I always want to win. But as the season goes on, I make so many memories with close friends and create a whole new picture in my mind. When playing a sport, sometimes the goal isn't to win, but to have fun and enjoy the moments with the people closest to you.
ReplyDeleteI admire your love of teamwork, seeing the bigger picture and not just the game. "You’re a part of a team. It creates so much more than just the sport. These memories I make with other people change the way I looked at a sport." One of the messages I thought you were trying to tell us, was pressure. Will I fall, or will I keep going with everything on the line. Will I lose focus of the goal and make a wrong turn? These are just some of the questions I feel whenever I am competing. To continue through that pressure, is frankly very admirable.
ReplyDeleteThe message I got from this writing piece is to not let fear effect the way you are playing. I liked when you said ¨ Chills going up your spine because you know that you could blow it for everyone else.¨ because I could really picture how you were feeling. I inferred this piece to my life because when I play sports I get the same feeling. Great job Makenna
ReplyDelete