Athleticism is an important skill that not everyone has and
can be a crucial skill in an emergency.
In an imaginary world, let’s say that there is evil coming after you,
and only you. You have no one to help
you escape or survive… you’re on your own.
All of a sudden, you’re being chased, but you are athletic. You could keep running non-stop and your legs
wouldn’t get tired; you could jump over a knocked down garbage can, then climb
up a fire escape. You open the door,
sprint through the hallway and strafe left to right avoiding others. Until you notice you're running right into
his trap. He's standing right in front
of you, waiting. Although you have
agility, you stop on a dime and turn around. You turn again into an empty
closet and he runs right by you without a glance. You hear him go down the
stairs and you run, like the speed of light, and down the stairs on the
opposite side of the building in a flash and hide in the crowd at the
door. Without athleticism in the
situation, you would have been “dead meat.”
You wouldn’t want to be caught after 30 seconds of running, would you?
Jason Pierre-Paul is a NFL player who blew his finger off in
an accident with a firework. Now he uses
his athletic ability to still play defensive tight end for the Tampa Bay
Buccaneers. The injury occured in
2016. In 2017 he came back strong with
eight sacks, five points defended, and 48 total tackles. Pierre-Paul took advantage of his athletic
ability and used it to continue thriving in the NFL.
Less than 2% of people who played an NCAA level spot in
college go pro, but athleticism opens up many other job opportunities as
well. You could be a police officer to
stop the “evil” in that situation. You
could be a firefighter using your athletic ability to quickly put out and save
people in a fire. You could be a fitness
trainer at a gym and help others stay fit like you, or you could be a physical
education teacher and inform the youth on how to stay healthy.
If you’re athletic, try playing a sport! For example, you move to a new school, but
you are on the school baseball team.
Since you play baseball, you already know ten people and won’t feel as
alone during the transition. Also, 55.5%
of high schoolers play a sport, and playing a sport is also a good way to spend
time with old friends. Sports are a
great way to blow off steam, relax, and have a lot of fun! After you are done with a practice, you can
have a friend over to hang out. During a
sport - baseball for example - you get to spend time with friends and new
people in the dugout!
Overall, athleticism is an important skill to possess. It can save people, or give them a new hobby.
Sports can bring people together; about three out of four adults played sports
when they were younger, and it gives them memories that last a lifetime. Do you want to create that bond with your
friends and family? Try playing a sport!
-Micah
Vennard
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ReplyDeleteThe message that I acquired from this piece is that athleticism could crucially benefit your life. It could help you blow off steam and relax; it could help you escape; it could create bonds that last a lifetime. You included many details about how it could benefit someone's life if they have the ability.
ReplyDelete"Athleticism is an important skill that not everyone has and can be a crucial skill in an emergency. In an imaginary world, let’s say that there is evil coming after you, and only you. You have no one to help you escape or survive… you’re on your own. All of a sudden, you’re being chased, but you are athletic. You could keep running non-stop and your legs wouldn’t get tired; you could jump over a knocked down garbage can, then climb up a fire escape. You open the door, sprint through the hallway and strafe left to right avoiding others. Until you notice you're running right into his trap. He's standing right in front of you, waiting. Although you have agility, you stop on a dime and turn around. You turn again into an empty closet and he runs right by you without a glance. You hear him go down the stairs and you run, like the speed of light, and down the stairs on the opposite side of the building in a flash and hide in the crowd at the door. Without athleticism in the situation, you would have been “dead meat.” You wouldn’t want to be caught after 30 seconds of running, would you?"
This is my most favorable quote/paragraph from your piece, I like that you included a part where the reader could understand where you are coming from. You put the reader right into a situation from the start, I haven't seen anybody do that yet. Keep up the great work!
The message of the article is that you should try a sport and you used evidence and numbers to support your claim that was very well done. One piece of evidence that I thought was outstanding was "Sports are a great way to blow off steam, relax, and have a lot of fun!" I know from my own experience that all of the fact in the article are true, and great job.
ReplyDelete"Athleticism is an important skill that not everyone has and can be a crucial skill in an emergency." I took this quote from your paper because I liked how you talked about how athleticism is an important skill that a person can use throughout their life. I also liked how you went into detail about how participating in athletics can be good for a person socially and not just talent wise. Your paper is also helpful because it describes what a person can do who might want to experience a sport. Great job on your paper!
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of very good details to back up why being athletic is important.You had good punctuation and had good grammar. Sports are a great way to blow off steam, relax, and have a lot of fun!. I used this quote from your story because I play sport and playing sport does help your relax and just cool of. Good story Micah
ReplyDeleteYour piece clearly shows the many benefits of running. Your claim was straightforward and quite encouraging. I liked the way that you wrote your first paragraph as a whole. It was extremely engaging.
ReplyDeleteRevised:
DeleteI really liked the way you wrote your introductory paragraph, it allowed me to see things in that perspective, for example, "You have no one to help you escape or survive… you’re on your own...". A message your piece clearly holds is, athleticism is very beneficial to you in many ways.
This story shows me that even with a disability such as a missing finger. You can still use you athleticism to play any sport you want. "If your athletic, try playing a sport!'Good job Micah.
ReplyDeleteThe message that I gathered from this writing piece is that being athletic has many benefits. You explain many different ways of how athleticism can benefit your life. Each and every one of your reasons that athleticism can benefit your life are very unique, not many people think about these things when thinking of athleticism. A line from your writing piece that stood out to me was, " For example, you move to a new school, but you are on the school baseball team. Since you play baseball, you already know ten people and won’t feel as alone during the transition." I like the way that you put the reader in a scenario and proved your point at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used "evil" to explain why being athletic is good. I also really liked the examples you gave to explain why being atletic is important. "Less than 2% of people who played an NCAA level spot in college go pro, but athleticism opens up many other job opportunities as well. You could be a police officer to stop the “evil” in that situation. You could be a firefighter using your athletic ability to quickly put out and save people in a fire. You could be a fitness trainer at a gym and help others stay fit like you, or you could be a physical education teacher and inform the youth on how to stay healthy." I chose this quote because I liked how you explained that athletecism can be used for different jobs and not just for playing sports.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you compared "evil" with athleticism. You have some very awesome detailed paragraphs and you have very good research on why being athletic has a lot of pros. You did a awesome job ending your piece with a question to leave the reader thinking and You did a outstanding job on your piece KEEP IT UP!.
ReplyDeleteThe message I got from your piece was athleticism has very good things about it. You showed this by saying "Without athleticism in the situation, you would have been 'dead meat.'" This shows a good use of descriptive language. Your piece was very well done! Good job Micah.
ReplyDeleteThe message that I got from your piece is that being fit can open many doors for you in the future. "Less than 2% of people who played an NCAA level spot in college go pro, but athleticism opens up many other job opportunities as well." I like how you used a variety of pros for being athletic and that you didn't just use sports.
ReplyDelete"Sports can bring people together; about three out of four adults played sports when they were younger, and it gives them memories that last a lifetime. Do you want to create that bond with your friends and family? Try playing a sport!" This is a great way to end the piece, by wrapping up with the central idea that sports bring people together. It's written in a way that shows that sports bring people together with information. This piece really encouraged me that I should get on my game and try out more sports than I have.
ReplyDeleteThis writing piece was very well written. I can tell by the great description and vocabulary you used, that you're very passionate about athleticism and your health! I noticed your intro was also incredibly strong, it made me really think "what if I was put into that situation ". I hope that you can continue this love for many years to come !
ReplyDeleteI liked the way that you put the reader into specific situations to persuade the reader to exercise or join a sport. " You have no one to help you escape or survive… you’re on your own". I liked the use of a ellipse in the sentence to add a cliffhanger.
ReplyDeleteThis is very helpful for people who don’t know how to use their athleticism. This overall is a very unique topic and hard to write about. You did a great job explaining.
ReplyDeleteQuote:
DeleteLess than 2% of people who played an NCAA level spot in college go pro, but athleticism opens up many other job opportunities as well. You could be a police officer to stop the “evil” in that situation. You could be a firefighter using your athletic ability to quickly put out and save people in a fire. You could be a fitness trainer at a gym and help others stay fit like you, or you could be a physical education teacher and inform the youth on how to stay healthy.
I like this because if you can't go to the pros you can still make a living without wasting your athleticism
I love the way you used "evil" and compared it to evil. And how it can hurt you in some situations if you are not athletic. Also I love this quote "Sports are a great way to blow off steam, relax, and have a lot of fun! After you are done with a practice," Because it reminds me of the time after soccer practice we would watch football games and relax and chill. Over all good job Micah.
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of good details on why being athletic is important like you saying. “Jason Pierre Paul blew his finger off in a firework accident and he plays defensive end for the Tampa bay Buccaneers.”You need athleticism to help you do good in sports. I can relate because I play sports and I understand how important it is to be athletic.
ReplyDeleteI think your piece is inspirational to people that don’t play a sport because of your little story in the intro. I hope I can outrun evil. Along with great mechanics, I like the line “Sports are a great way to blow off steam, relax, and have a lot of fun!” because people who don’t play a sport can’t experience this. Thankfully I play many sports and have memories that will last me a lifetime.
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