I am #73
Race One:
The crowd roars,
just like the engines of the cars
The green is one lap away
And we’re off!
Speeding the train
Slamming the gears
3rd.
Race Two:
The crowd rumbles,
just like the engines of the cars
The white, one lap way
And #32 is out!
Slowing down
Swerving
2nd.
Race Three:
The crowd rattles,
just like the engines of the cars
The checkered is one lap away
The cars are rounding the fourth turn
And #73 has slipped the turn!
Oversteer
Understeer
We corrected
And #73 has won the race
-Aiden Hanzalik
The central idea is roaring because the crowd was the cars were roaring.
ReplyDeleteI like how you had a different section (Line) for each race.
ReplyDeleteThe spelling and grammar is good. I love the imagery in the line "The crowd roars."
This poem was really great. You had very good descriptive writing and a really good voice. The lines that really helped set the mood were, "the crowd rattles/ the crowd roars." These lines were accomplished very well by the poetic device onomatopoeia. Your writing really described the noise/sound of the car in each race.
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea is to persevere and to not give up even if you're not winning. You did a great job of showing this with the last few lines, "Oversteer/Understeer/We corrected." This shows that even with coming in 3rd and 2nd in the other races you made corrections and you won! I thought that your separation of the different races really helped the reader to understand better.
ReplyDelete