You’re in a car
Driving
Cruising along
Carefree
You are as happy as can be
Happy like a bunny
With a carrot
You’re excited
filled with adrenaline
So you decide you should go faster
You gradually pick up the pace
And before you know it,
You can’t hit the break
Your car spins out of control
The scary sound screams and
Starts to seep through your mind
As you realize…..
You’re about to hit a wall
Finally aware of what’s happening
you try to end it all
Blinking lights
Wheels spinning left and right
Slamming on the breaks
All over the place
Doing everything you can
To end this mess
But it’s too late
All you hear is
BANG
As loud as a meteorite crashing onto earth
You’re in a ditch
A deep ditch
seemingly bottomless
A deep, bottomless, endless ditch
And something finally catches your eye
Fire
The ambulance is here
But there is no saving you
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
All of a sudden
You
Are
Gone
-Michaela DeFrancisco
I like the line where it simply says, "BANG." This shows great onomatopoeia. I believe the central idea is to be careful, and the message based on the central idea is to be careful when you are driving, so you don't crash. Another thing is that I feel like the structure of the poem shows nothing towards the meaning of the poem. Good job making the poem very strong and powerful.
ReplyDeleteThe line "All of a sudden/You/are/gone" really shows the mood because it's dark and scary and uses allusion to do it. The central idea is carefulness because if the person in the poem was careful than the accident wouldn't have happened. I really like the way that you structured the poem because as you read there is more urgency to stop the car because the font gets bigger.
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