The Goal
Tie game
third period
ten seconds left
Face off in their zone
I line up for the face off
I feel my adrenaline racing like an accelerating car
Quiet as quiet can be
Fans faces fearing our failure
Veins as cold as ice
My thoughts saying
We need a goal!
Won the face off, back to the defensemen
He winds up for a slapshot and it sails
Crowd cheers
Off the crossbar, clang, clank, clatter
Quiet as quiet can be
three seconds left
loose puck
I pick it up
Veins as cold as ice
Shoot and score!
The crowd cheers champs champs champs!
-Zackary Lillie
The way you talked about the game that you're showing and sounding like you're tired when you're saying. "I feel my adrenaline racing like an accelerating car." It sounds like you are very nervous but you still want to win. Good job. setting the mood.
ReplyDeleteIn this poem I can really feel the pressure of being tied with a team. I can really tell that your nervous, but determined with your words “My thoughts saying We need a goal!” your nervous that your team’s not going to get a goal, yet you need to or you’ll lose.
ReplyDeleteThe way you used your words in this poem really described what it feels like to be in a tied game "Quiet as quiet can be, Fans faces fearing our failure, Veins as cold as ice, My thoughts saying, We need a goal! here I could tell that there was a lot of pressure and nerves with trying to win and not trying to lose.
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