Up in the air, you hold yourself up on a long bar of wood. Grasping the bar with all of your might, you release your hips from the bar and bring them back to the bar in what is called a cast. One... two... three... WHOOSH! You twist around the bar, nearly making it up to the top, but then you fall right back down. Not giving up, you try again. Again, again, and again. Every fiber of your being yearns to end this infinite loop of attempts, but you don’t. And finally, you do the skill successfully. That is perseverance, not giving up even when all the odds are against you, even when you have lost hope and feel like there is not even the slightest possibility that success can be achieved. This is a story about a time when I had to employ some perseverance of my own.
“Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,” sounded the clock, belting out its musical cadence. I leaned back with my hands above my head, slowly lowering towards the ground to go into a bridge. This is called a backbend, when you go from an upright standing position into a bridge-like position with hands and feet on the ground, spine curved and head facing the wall whilst the torso aims towards the ceiling. Too scared to go all the way down to the ground, I simply collapsed backward onto the soft, glossy mat beneath me, staring up at the yellowish popcorn ceiling above. Standing up again, I reprimanded myself and tried once more. And failed once more. And tried once more. And failed yet again.
But I kept trying. Realizing that the barrier to my success was fear, I made a strong attempt to push back the fear that was like a cloud of dense fog, the fear that had terrorized me since I started doing this skill. I had tried too many times without having a single injury but not succeeding either. If I were to succeed, I would need to try harder. So I did. But first, I had to sleep on it.
After the events of the previous day, I was finally ready to try again. Down went the mat onto the floor, and up went my feet onto the mat. Reaching back now with renewed confidence in my ability, I finally got my hands on the mat! But then they slipped. And I fell flat on my back, just as I had done every single time before. “Ugh! I’m going to be doing this for a million years!” I said, growing tired of my repeated failures. At that moment, my anger had been like a boiling tea kettle about to burst. But still, I wouldn’t give up, I needed to try again! So that’s just what I did, having a near-perfect attempt, until…
A mighty thud sounded in my ears as I crashed head-first into the mat, lying on my back. Legs wobbling, eyes adjusting, I began my slow trek towards the refrigerator. On my way, I realized how close I had been to doing a backbend. Opening the freezer door, I grabbed an ice pack and applied it to where I had hit my head. Holding the ice pack on my injured head, I took a small break before attempting to do more backbends. “That was the worst injury I have endured so far,” I mumbled under my breath, “but I’m also doing so much better now with this skill.” So, after a bit of resting up, I knew what I had to do.
Getting into position, I prepared myself for this failure of an attempt at a backbend. I reached back to the mat below that seemed to be making fun of my efforts. Following my hands down, I found them and now was looking at my hands... TOUCHING THE GROUND! I had finally done it! This was truly a cause for celebration - and a celebration should not be an activity done alone! Dashing through the dining room into the kitchen and finally into the living room, I looked for my parents. Finding them sitting in their seats, I shouted, “Guys! Guys! I did my backbend! Come look!” Running back to the porch and waiting impatiently for them to come along, I practiced a few more times and was able to succeed once or twice. And once they came, I showed them my trick, which they applauded and congratulated me on.
In conclusion, it is very important to persevere. Never give up, even when it may seem as though everything is falling apart, even when it may seem like you are being sucked into a blackhole and there is no escape. Let me tell you, in most cases, there is an escape. So next time you try something new or find yourself in a difficult situation, don’t give up! If you try hard and persevere, you will succeed - don’t get caught up on your mistakes and difficulties.
-Caleb S.
I like how Caleb makes the writing engaging by telling us why he can’t succeed at the back bend. Like when he says, “Realizing that the barrier to my success was fear.” This helps bring the story to life and makes it more engaging. I can relate to this like when I was trying to learn to do a 360 off a jump in skiing. I failed a lot of times, but eventually, I got it down pat. My reaction to this is that I got excited when you finally perfected that backbend. This reaction was caused by the line that said, “TOUCHING THE GROUND! I had finally done it!” The lesson I have learned from this is to never get up even when things feel impossible. I can apply this lesson to my life in whatever I do from skiing to schoolwork.
ReplyDeleteI love how you used a lot of descriptive language like, "Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock," as you sounded the clock, belting out its musical cadence. Also, "I simply collapsed backward onto the soft, glossy mat beneath me, staring up at the yellowish popcorn ceiling above." It really helps me visualize where and what you are doing. My reaction to this is that it is a good story with a very good central idea that everyone can relate to in some shape or form. I learned that even when things seem impossible, just try and try until you can do it. Just like in my life, even when I don't think I will ever get this task done, whether it is a test or something to do with soccer, I will always try until I can do it.
ReplyDeletePerseverance is a trait that you showed us without flaw. You kept on trying even after getting hurt, and you finally succeeded in the end. I like how you used a lot of mature vocabulary, like “cadence” and “endured.” In this story, I saw the message as never giving up, because in the end you will always succeed.
ReplyDeleteI like how you kept your readers engaged throughout the story with lots of figurative language. When you said, “Every fiber of your being yearns to end this infinite loop of attempts, but you don’t.” I felt like it was such an engagement keeper. You continued to use lots of other very descriptive and figurative language to not only get me to read your story in the first place, but to keep reading. This is definitely not the easiest thing to do in the world as a writer. Nice piece Caleb!
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ReplyDeleteSome of the things that Caleb use to make his story engaging is that he stars emtely with him on a wooden bar. I can realat to this; by how he dosen´t give up. This also his central idea is to never give up. Like how it says “ Getting into position, I prepared myself for this failure of an attempt at a backbend.----I had finally done it!” This shows how Caleb's central idea is to never give up because he expect that he was going to fail but because he never gave up he finally had done it.