The air tingled with dread as I walked in. Paper tents with a school sign plastered onto it were placed haphazardly on tables that had clustering chairs. The food table bustled with activity as students erratically hopped over to grab their favorite snacks. Although it was a frigid Saturday, the cool environment contradicted the tense atmosphere.

In the leading months of 2017, ten students (including me) prepared for the MATHCOUNTS®  Regional Chapter. The competition club’s teacher told us that, “everything was going to be fine,” and, “it’s not that bad,” but I had never went to the competition before. I had no idea what I would  experience and encounter. Most of my close friends on the team even had any idea what the competition would be like to go there, let alone actually compete there.

I arrived at one of our team’s tables and waited for the rest to arrive. The other teammate that was already there probably thought, we’re both not going to do well,  since her expression seemed fittingly so. Adding to my confusion and stress was the survey handed out to all participants. Did I even have to do this? Will my recorded answers be comprehended correctly and kept private? One of my teammates was so confounded that she complained about what to answer for the “ethnicity” section of the demographic portion of the survey. It was like organized chaos.

The exam portion of the day seemed to linger on and on. After barely completing the survey on time, we were hushed by proctors who may have had their conscience wiped from their minds. Split individually, we started the Sprint portion, which felt like running a figurative marathon uphill. I completed the first question with ease. But they only get harder as you go through, I considered. It seemed impossible to contain the immense thoughts of, it’s too hard, and, what if I do worse than my peers. Although I performed well in the tryouts, undertaking the actual exam was clearly more taxing than a school tryout, which has less of a significance.

The test continued on with the Target portion beginning as the Sprint drew to a close. I recalled the events during the tryouts for the team where I was barely pushed out of the main team due to a slight difference in the components of the aggregate, which was 36 points. After doing so, I started the first part of the Target round, which is like the short-answer and extended response portions of every summative exam. Armed with a calculator, I punched in the correct calculations onto the device’s screen and yielded an answer to submit. Proceeding with the first two, we were allowed to converse between each other before the next phase began. Contrary to my previous anecdote, my answers corresponded well with my other teammates! I wasn’t expecting this, as I was skeptical of my performance on the Sprint.

Before the next round began, we were given a brief interlude to restock on snacks, head to the restroom, and confer with others. As I took advantage of the break, I carefully analyzed and interpreted the events leading up to the break.

When I first arrived, I thought that I was certainly not going to perform as well as I had hoped. However, my performance on the Target began to contradict my initial beliefs on what I believed I could and couldn’t do. Soon enough, the belief spread to my performance on the Sprint, which lifted what I believed I could accomplish with four others later.

The remainder of the Target and Team portion proceeded with a slight whim at the end. Harnessing confidence, I funneled my improved concentration to crash through the remaining six Target questions with personally impressive accuracy. When the Team portion approached, working together with others clearly helped our team propel forward as we sorted through the last ten problems.

Looking back on the events, I realize that I probably wouldn’t have done as well if I hadn’t gained a belief in myself that I could persevere and make it through. When the results trickled in, I beat my personal expectations to get a personal duffel bag. Nonetheless, without confidence in oneself, that person would likely fail to achieve anything. Whenever faced with the worst, push yourself through it. To push through, have confidence. Without it, would you still be here?

-Michael Wong