Eric Miller was very
hot one day. He sauntered over to his window and opened it a crack. When he
returned back to his bed he started to goggle at his new wallpaper. It was a
memorizing blue with alluring doves on it. After a interminable staring contest
with one of the hoary doves, he started to look around his room. Eric’s room
had one small closet, a full sized bed and a small window. After Eric was bored
with looking around his room, he went back to staring at the engrossing dove.
After a while Eric’s eyes started to water as if they were waterfalls. When he
blinked the dove’s left wing came off the wallpaper. Eric started to rub his
eyes. When he opened his eyes the right wing came off. Eric sprung out of his
bed like a rabbit. Finally, the dove’s body came off the wall, and it flew out the window. After Eric saw the
dove disappear into New York City’s skyline, he bolted downstairs and got one
of his nurses. He grabbed the nurse’s hand and lugged her into to his room, on
the top floor. When they got to Eric's room they were out of breath.
“Eric, why did you pull
me up here?” Nurse Betty said, panting.
“A dove on my wall
paper flew out my window, look for yourself,” Eric said, pointing at the edge
of the wall connecting to his open window.
“Eric, I see nothing.
Lay down and I will get Nurse Sally.” Nurse Betty scurried out of Eric’s room.
Eric was a billionaire
who went crazy when his wife and son were killed in a car crash. He pushed away
all his friends and sold everything he owned. He only wore pajamas now. He
bought a three story building in New York City. He hired five full time nurses
who lived in the building. A doctor came twice a week on Sunday and Wednesday.
All of the nurses were in his will.
When the two nurses
returned with three needles instead of only one needle, Eric started to
question the nurse's decision to use more than one needle. They put all three
needles into his right arm. He fell into a very, very deep sleep.
He started to dream.
The first dream was good, but the second was a horrible nightmare.
It was a cold, icy
night, and Eric was making his son, Lucas, go to indoor lacrosse. Both his
wife, Ann, and son, Lucas, didn't want to go out. On the way home from the high
school, Ann was trying to stop at a red light, but there was a huge patch of
ice. The car didn't stop and an overloaded 18 wheeler, which was going over the
speed limit, rammed the small sports car. It was like the sports car was a tin
can. Lucas died right away since the truck hit the passenger side. Ann was rushed
to the hospital. Eric drove to the hospital as fast as he could. Eric ran to
his wife's room on the third floor. Ann died before he could get to her. He
started to hear voices, “you killed them, they died because of you, you are
worth nothing.” Eric started screaming like he was just shot. He started to
attack doctors and anyone in the hallways. Security tackled him to the ground.
No one pressed charges, but the court suggested that he would hire nurses to
control him.
The nightmare wasn’t a
nightmare at all, it was Eric’s past. A past that could drive the best person
in the world insane. A past that could make you want to take your own life, to
be with the ones you love.
Eric woke up early the
next morning. He sat up in bed and started to stare at the wall paper again. A
bird came off the wallpaper, then another one, then another one. They swarmed
Eric and picked him up. The window was still open from the night before, and
the bevy of doves started towards the small window. Eric didn’t think he would
fit out the window, so he braced himself for impact. Eric closed his eyes and hoped for the best.
When Eric opened his eyes, he wasn’t about to faceplant into a wall but flying
through the dark sky of New York City. Eric became scared, then interested, then
joyful. He was no longer having a terrible moment, but a phenomenal moment.
Every horrible thing slipped his mind.
He was like a kid on the first day of summer break.
When the birds finally
flew him back to his third floor bedroom, the sun was just coming over the
horizon. Eric felt like he was outside flying for only minutes, but he was
really out there for hours.
Nurse Sally and Betty
were the only people up besides him. They were doing very evil business. They
were plotting how to kill Eric. Before Ann died Betty and Sally were great
friends with Ann, their old college roommate. When Ann died and Eric became
insane, they felt bad for him, so they decided to become Eric's nurses. They
just signed the contract, not reading that it stated that they had to live in
Eric's asylum and that they could not take time off, even if they were sick.
They started to get sick of it, so they started to plot their evil plans.
They finally found the
perfect time. They were going to send the other nurse on vacation. Once they
were far away, they were going to overdose Eric and give him an undetectable
poison in his needles.
That night, Betty and
Sally put the poison in the needle. Eric was lying in his bed, reading his
favorite book. Sally came in his room first.
“Eric, me and Betty
need to give you a quick shot to help you get back to sleep,” said Sally.
“Sally, I don’t think I
need to go back to sleep, but thank you,” said Eric.
Then Betty came in with
a small needle.
“It
won’t hurt at all, Eric, and you need your rest if you think you can play chess
today,” said Betty in an annoyed voice.
“Fine, if it doesn’t
hurt,” said Eric casually.
“Here you go, see you
on the flip side, Eric,” said Betty in an evil voice. Then the walls started to
shake and the birds started to come off the wall paper. They started to cover
up Betty, Sally, and Eric. Then the room went black.
A small light started
to shine in the distance; it got closer and closer. When it was finally close
enough, Eric could see Ann and Lucas, standing in front of a pearly gate.
“Welcome,” said Ann and
Lucas together as the gate opened slowly.
-Riley Mitchell
Riley I like your use of figurtive language with the line "After a while Eric’s eyes started to water as if they were waterfalls". It really brought your chatcater Eric's eyes and how bad they started to hurt by staring at the dove on his wall.
ReplyDeleteRiley, that was amazing! All through out the story you had me engaged. I love the ending of your story! Your use of figurative language was incredible, it really brought the story to life. Some lines which prove my point would be, "Eric sprung out of his bed like a rabbit", " It was like the sports car was a tin can" and "Eric started screaming like he was just shot".
ReplyDeleteThis was a very impressive and well thought out piece. I liked how you used a simile in the line, "It was like the sports car was a tin can." It really depicted how the car was absolutely destroyed by the crash. This scene was shocking, and despite it being a dream it felt real by the way you described it.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this piece and how the story line was organized. The message was very clear in the piece. It shares that you should be grateful for what you have and that you shouldn't force things on others. I think we can all apply this lesson to our lives every day.
ReplyDeleteI liked this story because the message was easy to see what it was.I thought that the message was to be greatful for what you have.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the message about not taking what you have for granite. This was showed with how nothing could be seen, but Eric knew something was wrong. It was also very organized and well planned out.
ReplyDeleteReally good job really. I liked how the message was how it only takes one bad day for a man to go mad. This is shown when his wife and son both die in a car crash. He slowly starts to go insane then after. I also really like how the story culminated in what I am assuming is Heaven.
ReplyDeleteI thought the central idea of this piece was regret. A line to support this is, "A past that could drive the best person in the world insane. A past that could make you want to take your own life, to be with the ones you love." The lesson you may be trying to offer is that you should forgive your past actions, and not let them affect you in the future. I can apply this to my own life whenever I feel guilty about something I've done in the past.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job Riley. I loved when you said "A small light started to shine in the distance; it got closer and closer." You really showed the feeling and explained it. I thought it was very interesting when you stated "Eric became scared, then interested, then joyful" because you explained all of Eric's emotions over time. Good job.
ReplyDeleteWow. Amazing piece Riley! I concluded that the central idea was to be careful with things you love. Eric should've known it was an icy night and not to drive. Another possible central idea is to watch out for others. That idea can be inferred from this line: "The car didn't stop and an overloaded 18 wheeler, which was going over the speed limit, rammed the small sports car."
ReplyDelete