Friday, May 6, 2022

 

Have you ever thought you messed up badly in just a second? Or have you ever made a bad mistake that took a turn for the worst? Well, that happened to me.

It was a warm but gloomy day in the middle of November, and my phone rang. I answered; it was my friend, Molly Len, and she asked me to hang out and bike around. I quickly ran to my garage and jumped on my bike. About halfway there, I looked down at Facetime, and suddenly I bolted forward.

I flew off my bike. I suddenly put both my hands out to help my head not get hurt, and I felt my hands tear apart. My leg skimmed across the ground. It started to burn. Bad. It felt like someone took a knife and cut a huge piece of skin off my body.  My bike was on top of me, making more tiny scratches. I quickly shoved my body towards the grass to try to pick my bike up off of me, looked at my leg, and processed what happened to me.

I looked down at my legs, and it looked like there was a massacre. The cuts looked so deep I thought I saw my bone, big and ragged cuts all over my legs, bleeding like Niagra Falls. My hands were all cut up too. I was burning with flaming pain. I couldn't find my phone, so I was terrified it fell in the pothole and got cracked. I suddenly realized  I hit a pothole and flew forward; everything happened at once.

 I thought about my decision to look down at my phone because I got hurt.

 I suddenly heard Molly scream from the phone, “Molly? Are you okay?” I found my phone in the grass nearby and picked it up. I showed Molly my leg, and she gasped. “You can go home, we can bike and hang out another day,” she said in a shocked voice.

I got up and slowly walked home in  fiery pain, my legs trembling and knees knocking, struggling to stay on my feet. Every bend in my knee the cuts cracked open even more, leaving blood oozing out. It felt like I was dying. After what felt like an eternity, I made it home. I slowly walked up the driveway, trying to walk my heavy bike up too. I walked into the house with my head hanging low in shame. My mom just stared. She slowly backed up and went to get the bandages and things to clean cuts. I told her what happened, and after we cleaned up, she went straight to my bike to take the holder of my bike and threw it out.

My cuts slowly but surely turned into scars and back into the skin. I am still in shock now, even though it was a year ago.  That day I was in such flaming pain that it lasted for such a long time that I still have scars from.  Now that I've made that mistake, I remember what happened and what the consequences were. Always, always think about your decisions before making them. It will help you in the long run.

 

 

 

 

-Molly M.




4 comments:

  1. Great job Molly! I loved how you asked me a relatable question in the beginning, and it made me want to continue reading! When I continued to read you kept me hooked with interesting details. The line, “I looked down at my legs, and it looked like there was a massacre. The cuts looked so deep I thought I saw my bone, big and ragged cuts all over my legs, bleeding like Niagra Falls,” really put me in your perspective. You also used amazing figurative language to describe the short moment!

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  2. Nice Job! The sensory language that you put in your narrative really helped the story come to life. For example when you said, “The cuts looked so deep I thought I saw my bone, big and ragged cuts all over my legs, bleeding like Niagra Falls.” That really helped me to visualize what you saw after you fell off your bike. I also really like how you described everything in such detail, like when you said, “Every bend in my knee the cuts cracked open even more, leaving blood oozing out.” That must have hurt so bad, but it really helped me to feel what you were feeling in the moment.

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  3. Molly, you did a great job writing your Personal Narrative! Something that you did in your piece that made it a lot better was using figurative language. When you said, “ It felt like someone took a knife and cut a huge piece of skin off my body,” the simile you used made it easier to understand how much pain you were in.

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  4. Molly, I liked how you really detailed the part where you fell off your bike. It made me feel like I was in your position and brought your writing to life. I also liked how you used figurative language like “bleeding like Niagra Falls” to make the story more engaging.

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