Have you ever done something that you never thought you could do? You probably have, and it’s important to remember that it’s never a bad thing to not be afraid to do something. For if you had not committed such acts of dauntlessness, something dreadfully atrocious could have happened. And although there is probably a very slim chance of something happening to you where you need to step out of your comfort zone and be brave, it is still very crucial to have the ability to be brave.
It was a tropical, halcyon, magnificent, and exciting summer day at the lake. The water was gleaming immensely like a gem under the stars, and the packed parking lot was the size of a stadium. My delighted family and I were unpacking the bulging trunk of our truck. I was gazing at the boats cruising by indifferently while the boats getting dropped off and getting pulled out took forever. Eventually we started packing the boat with everything that we needed. And as we got more and more prepared the more my exciting day started to feel more and more heart racing. Slowly the line of boats coming in and out started to get shorter and shorter, like a snail getting closer and closer to its destination. Finally it was our turn to back our boat into the water. My dad was finishing the final touches on preparing the boat while I was up on top, taking my sister's place, making sure we had everything before we left. Meanwhile, she went to the bathroom. We were ready to launch our boat, but when I turned around from getting the front of the boat ready, I discovered that the engine had gone into a big pile of smoke, and that smoke was quickly turning into flames.
I immediately alerted my father of what was happening. It took him a second to hear what I was saying due to the noise of the lake in the background. But once he heard me he instantly jumped into action, grabbing a fire extinguisher and fighting the raging inferno. And instead of jumping off the boat and running to safety, I decided to stay and try and put out the fire with my father. With my father using my visuals of the fire, he was able to disconnect the battery and use the fire extinguisher to put out the infuriated blaze.
After we had put out the fire, my sister had finally come out from the bathroom, bewildered. I explained what had happened to her while my dad got the boat all ready again to inspect the damages. My father pulled into the parking lot with our withered boat. He took the cover off of the engine and analyzed the damage that the fire had done to the interior of the engine. He calculated the damages and concluded that we couldn’t fix them at the lake, and that we’d have to go back home and fix them. So we left the lake disappointed to go repair the breakage of the engine.
When all is said and done, it is important to have the ability to be brave at all times. That way, you can ensure the safety of not only yourself, but possibly dozens of others as well. You can most importantly make sure that everybody can be inspired by you to be brave as well so that they can also ensure the safety of others.
-Aiden P.
I loved how you jumped right into action once you saw that the boat engine was on fire. I was really shocked to see that you decided to stay and help your dad instead of finding safety because most people find that trying to get a fire to go out is scary. I definitely learned that next time when I go on a boat, I will make sure to look out for the engine so it doesn’t catch on fire.
ReplyDeleteThe lesson Aiden is trying teach is to be brave. In the story Aiden could have jumped off the boat but he stayed and helped his dad. That was brave of him and he is trying to teach for others to be brave in certain situations.
ReplyDeleteAiden, I like how you used mature language in your personal narrative like when you said “It was a tropical, halcyon, magnificent, and exciting summer day at the lake. The water was gleaming immensely like a gem under the stars, and the packed parking lot was the size of a stadium.” I'm surprised that your truck caught on fire and how you rushed in to help your dad. I guess you should always be careful. I mean anything could happen.
ReplyDeleteAiden P’s lesson I think is about whenever you’re afraid to do something overcome it by doing what you're afraid of. The thing I was afraid of was talking to people in 6th grade but when I talked to my great-grandfather about how I can deal with those things I started to learn more about who those people are and I’m really thankful for that talk to me and what he had to say.
ReplyDeleteAiden, I love your use of language to describe all of the things going on around you like for example, “ and the packed parking lot was the size of a stadium.” You engaged me from the very beginning of the story describing the setting of the story and showing the emotions of you and your family. If the same thing happened to me I would definitely be disappointed. Good job Aiden!
ReplyDeleteAiden I like when you started to describe the setting and I quote “It was a tropical, halcyon, magnificent, and exciting summer day at the lake. The water was gleaming immensely like a gem under the stars, and the packed parking lot was the size of a stadium.” It gives the reader a nice visual of the setting.
ReplyDeleteThe story you wrote was very interesting. You used many describing words to really describe the story as if the reader was there in the moment. Your conclusion at the end of your personal narrative was very powerful. Your conclusion also has a lesson/claim so readers can connect with your essay. The conclusion really makes the reader think about the lesson of the personal narrative.
ReplyDelete