I wasn’t expecting to have a meltdown that night. I wasn’t even expecting to cry. But when my mom told me some world-shattering news, Niagara Falls spouted from my tear ducts.

       It was a normal Friday night in early November, chilly, but not cold enough to need a jacket. The dojang was warm after my black belt prep class. People were everywhere, clustered in little groups, talking and stretching or practicing Taekwondo techniques. I was engaging in shenanigans on the mat with my friend, Hailey, when my mom discovered something that she knew would make me feel like the world was ending. She was writing the date of my Phase III test (the third out of four tests I had to take to become a second-degree black belt) when she saw that there was something I was already doing that day. Befuddled, she clicked on the date, wondering what the appointment was. 

       My mother tentatively called us over. “We have a problem,” she admitted. She slowly explained that the phase test was next Friday. Confused, I told her I knew this. My instructor informed everyone just five minutes before. Then she gingerly told me that the Radio City trip was on the same day. 

       The Radio City trip was an extremely important thing to me. All the kids in Select Choir get to miss a day of school, get bussed all the way to New York City, and get to perform at Radio City Music Hall. After we perform, we get to watch the Radio City Christmas Spectacular, starring the Rockettes! After the show, we would get to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe, a world-famous restaurant. The whole trip seemed like magic. The only problem was that there was no way I’d be able to go to the show and my Phase III test, arguably the second most important test, after the fourth and final test where we receive our actual belts. 

       I was crushed. The world was ending, and I had nothing to live for anymore. Lips trembling, eyes beginning to water, I cried out in defeat. Tears cascaded down my face, and I sank to my knees as I whined. I buried my face into Hailey’s hip and sobbed. My mom was saying something regretfully, but I didn’t hear her. It felt like my ears were waterlogged. Every time I started to calm down, I was overcome with the fact that I couldn’t do anything about it! I couldn’t change what day we had the trip, nor could I change what day we had the test. I couldn’t just not do the Phase III test, but we had already paid the fee for going to the show! All I could think was, how could we have missed this? How could we have not known sooner?

       I finally calmed down after sobbing my eyes out for what felt like all eternity but was probably only ten minutes. While offering me a tissue, my mom tenderly advised me to go wash my tear-streaked face. Once I reached the bathroom I took a ginormous breath and gently splashed the cooling water on my face. It’s going to be ok. You’ll figure something out. It’s not the end of the world if you can’t go to- I halted my thoughts abruptly before I could start bawling like a baby again. Everything’s gonna be fine. Everything’s gonna be fine. I repeated the mantra a couple more times, like it was the answer to all my problems, before leaving the bathroom.

       I found my mom asking my instructor, Master Mihee, if there was any way we could still take the test. Master Mihee was completely understanding and exceptionally kind. She came up with a solution that worked amazingly! Instead of getting tested on the curriculum, the written stuff, and the physical test all in two hours, I would take my Phase III test over a series of days. My mom and I were so relieved; it was as if someone had given us a bottle of water after days without it. Who knew the problem could be solved with a bit of level-headed thinking and compromising?

       Now, looking back, I’m pretty sure I overreacted a little. The world didn’t end, the Radio City Trip went spectacularly, and I didn’t fail my Phase III test. In hindsight, my mom and I should’ve marked the dates on our calendars. Planning makes everything smoother in life and fewer surprises like this appear. If you do forget to plan, or something that you can’t control pops up, try to work out a solution instead of freaking out. Sometimes all you feel like doing is screaming and throwing a chair, but instead of turning into The Hulk, take a couple of deep breaths and think. Life happens, and everything will work out somehow, good or bad. It’s just how you view it and adapt to it that matters.

-Jackie E.