My nose is red, my fingers are freezing up like strips of ice. I´m standing on this frosty, freshly polished ice. I push myself onto the ice. I get into my position and push an attempt to turn… and I slip. I know failure is not an option, and I made sure to myself that I was not giving up.
My teacher, Coach Donna, was trying to teach me a Mohawk, a complex move. A Mohawk is used for a transition from skating forward to backward. You turn while staying on the same edge. A couple months back Coach Donna introduced me to this. She quickly realized that I was a beginner. I was falling just as if my legs were pulled out right in front of me. I smashed and came off my edge a bunch. I really wanted to learn the Mohawk. Once I willingly pushed, I hit my thin blade on my other foot, and I landed smash dab right on my knee.
From that day on I wanted to prove to coach Donna that I could do this. I begged my mom to take me every Saturday for public skating. All I needed was some practice, and I would be golden. Since then I've improved tremendously. You may be asking, why do you want to learn this so badly? Well, that's because once I learn this I will be able to learn to jump. I am really looking forward to that.
When Coach Donna saw that I was getting really good, she said, ¨I think it is time we try the Mohawk again.¨ My jaw dropped as fast as a cheetah could run. I did not want to do this. It was so challenging for me, so she had me hold her hand so I would not fall. I pushed onto one foot and put my freeleg (foot in the air) to the instep (side of my foot), and then I tried to turn; I went onto a different edge, but I was not able to complete the Mohawk. I genuinely thought I had it. I just needed to land on a bent knee.
I was starting to get more and more pleased with the Mohawk. Every time, I´ve been getting better and better. She's had me try with only one hand. She does this because in the start I do great, and out of the blue I'll just not believe in myself. I was just a sliver away from doing it, but I did not land on a bent knee. I tried and tried; time was going by the second, and it felt like twenty years had gone by. Finally, I landed it!
She said, ¨let's see you try this one on your own.¨ I pushed and was about to put my foot on the instep, and I fell off the inside edge. Coach Donna said to me, "remember to have confidence in yourself. You can do this. I believe in you.¨ I tried again, and I said to myself, land on a bent knee (when I switch to the backwards foot and I don't have a bent knee I can not complete the Mohawk). Then I pushed and put my foot on the instep, then I turned, and then.... I landed it! It was as graceful as the Swan Lake production. Coach Donna said to me, ¨Excellent job!¨ I know I did a good job because I had the feeling. Coach Donna smiled so happily and said, ¨I am proud of you.¨
I was proud of the confidence I had in myself to complete the Mohawk. In life you have two options, you either give up or you give it your all. When you put in the effort you will succeed. If you decide to give it your all, keep in mind to believe in yourself, try your hardest and…Never give up!
-Lauren M.
I like how you told a story of persistence and how you explained things for people who had no idea what those things were. I like the similies used, for example, "My jaw dropped as fast as a cheetah could run." I can relate to this because for hockey I also had to learn a mohawk turn, I also fell a bunch and got hurt. I have really improved from when I learned it 4 years ago. I pulled a lesson of persistence and perseverance, I think it especially fits this situation because you are trying to learn a skill that takes lots of practice
ReplyDeleteThe engaging practices that author used here was sensory and figurative. It really helped describe the scene and how the MC felt throughout the story. One example is the introduction: “My nose is red, my fingers are freezing up like strips of ice.” It really helps to see how the MC felt at times. The lesson that I learned here is that if you persevere and keep on trying, you will succeed. I can apply this to my own life whenever I don't succeed at first.
ReplyDeleteLauren, I loved your personal narrative. One, because it was really entertaining. And two, I went through the same exact experience! I was a figure skater myself. I also believe I had the same exact coach as you do! Your good paragraphing made it easy to read, and the words you use to describe some of your experiences in the story add to the experience. When you said, “I was starting to get more and more pleased with the Mohawk.” Which I relate to because with some of the moves I would have to do I would have to try, and try. I believe that the more things you try, the more you will fail. But that’s okay because people need to have confidence in themselves to be able to keep trying. But not a lot of people do, so I'm glad you wrote about your experience with confidence so other people will see that it is important to have.
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