“Chloe, come! Get back in the house!” everyone said with an urgent tone.
“Chloe? Want a treat!?” We were all out of the house trying to get the light speed canine back in the house. A couple hours earlier wasn’t as catastrophic. Everything was placid. This was going to be a succulent day that started with me being fatigued and famished.
“Hi Mo-”
“Do the dishes, do your laundry, do… uh clean your room, get off your electronics, it’s Sunday,” my mom said in two seconds.
“Whoa, whoa. I just woke up and said hi,” I said drowsily.
“ARE YOU TALKING BACK? You argue with everything! I swear you are going to be like a lawyer when you grow up,” Mom sighed.
“What?” I questioned.
“Nothing! Just stop arguing!”
“I wasn’t arguing! I was going to-"
Then I heard a sentence that I totally don’t hear every day. "WHO DRANK ALL THE MILK?” After an hour we ate lunch at the Western Diner; we went back home. My grandparents were visiting, so we had to cleanse the whole house as usual. Then we heard knocking.
The first thing that happened was my little brother, Kori, opened the creaking door while we still had to put stuff away, like our energetic pitbull named Chloe, who makes every noise except the ones she’s supposed to make. Chloe hastened straight out the door to our front yard like a running cheetah on the loose.
“Chloe, come! Get back in the house!” we said with an urgent tone.
“Chloe? Want a treat?” We were all out of the house trying to get the zooming canine back in the house. She almost went into the infuriated road, the backyard near the woods and close to our car before we finally got her back in the house with treats. After that, we got a one hour lecture as I expected. We got her in the crate and got to eat dinner with our grandparents. Oh, and do not worry; no pets were hurt in the making of this memory.
If you are told to do a lot of tasks at once, do the most important thing to start. Don’t clean stuff that won’t be visited like your basement or attic. Put away energetic pets if you have one, get spilled liquid off the floor, that sort of thing. Do NOT forget anything important. Eventually you will get used to it and know what's most important.
-Tyler G.
Tyler made the writing very engaging by using a lot of personification. When he says, “She almost went into the infuriated road.”This definitely sounds like a funny and annoying experience. I can relate to this story as my dog has gotten outside through the front door more times than I can count. The lesson I have learned from this is to do the most important tasks first and save the more meaningless ones for later. I can apply this to my schoolwork and homework by making sure I do the homework that is due the next day, not the next week.
ReplyDeleteYou made the story very engaging from the beginning. The line that really got me interested and engaged in the story was, “ ‘Chloe come! Get back in the house!’ everyone said with an urgent tone.” By jumping straight to the action it really makes me want to keep reading and find out what happens next.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you used figurative language throughout the narrative. For example, when you were talking about your dog chloe, “Chloe hastened straight out the door to our front yard like a running cheetah on a loose.” I feel like that quote alone really makes the narrative more exciting to read.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent piece, Tyler. The most obvious central idea this brings to mind is Priorties. When I think about prioritising and how important it is I think about myself and the challenges I have had to face regarding that. One such example is the usage of my phone every morning. It was such an unhealthy habit that I needed to quit in quick succession. By the help of my friends and parents I see my phone as one of the least important things in my life. You use a lot of sensory language and strong verbs that put us in the scene of your memory. It shows you are very au courant of what is going on with individuals and this memory proves that. Your usage of words are phenomenal. You said” WHO DRANK ALL THE MILK” By the use of your capitalization we feel the seriousness of your words. What an excellent piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteYour personal narrative was very engaging. It kept me reading on until the very end. The line at the beginning of your story that really got me hooked was, “Chloe, come! Get back in the house!” It engages the reader right away, and makes them read on to find out more. The vocabulary was very sophisticated. A line from the text that shows this is, “Everything was placid. This was going to be a succulent day that started with me being fatigued and famished.” The mature words make your writing bold and descriptive. All in all, your personal narrative was very nicely constructed. It was short, but engaging nonetheless. Your writing had a wide range of vocabulary that made it stand out.
ReplyDeleteThe author added a lot of dialogue, and background information which made it very easy to understand how each of the characters were feeling in the conversations, and background information which made it very engaging. My reaction to the experience is that it was very amusing to see how the characters reactions were to everything especially the main characters mother. I can relate to this because my mom gets mad at me and my brother a lot for not doing are chores at home. The lesson I have learned from this story is that never forget anything important. I know this because in the conclusion it says, ¨Do NOT forget anything important.¨ I can apply this to my own life because the main reason my parents get mad about me for not doing my chores is because I always forget even after they tell me a lot.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you gotta get used to things,our main character wakes up and does not even have time to wake up before, his mom burst through and right after she burst through, she just screams at them for not doing chores.Their grandparents open the door and then the dog's burst through. Outside It took about an hour to get the dog back.
ReplyDeleteFrom Jackie:
ReplyDeleteI really liked your Personal Narrative. It was very lively, and you really managed to make me feel the panic when your dog ran out of the house. I also liked the humor you infused into the story, like when you said, “Oh, and do not worry; no pets were hurt in the making of this memory.” It made me laugh out loud. The central idea of this story is Time-Management, which I know because you said, “If you are told to do a lot of tasks at once, do the most important thing to start.” Good job, Tyler! :D