Thursday, June 1, 2023

         “Mama, what’s that up in the sky?” I ask Mama with interest. 

  “Don't worry, Baby, it’s just the sky. Nothing to worry about,” she adds, but I can tell she is curious too.

        “Are you sure we shouldn't ask someone?” 

        “If it bothers you too much, we can just go to the elder’s office - the place with the oldest dinosaurs; they know everything.” We walk through the extended, drenched grass.

        “What does this thing in the sky look like?” the head elder asks.

        “It’s gray, and kind of looks like the moon. But I know it isn’t, it’s just  different. I'm not sure how to explain it.” 

        The elders whisper, and I hear a slight “no it can’t be” and a “but that's impossible!”   After hard thinking and intense discussion, they have finally come to a conclusion.

        “We aren't quite sure what this is. Could you show us this in person?” 

        “Sure, follow us,” Mama says, motioning for me to lead the way.

        I walk over to where I had seen it before. I see it and then point. The elder’s dark green faces turned into a bright pink, like a perfectly luscious and plump strawberry.  I can tell they are scared. 

        With an anxious tone, they explain, “There is an asteroid coming, and we are in imminent danger. Our earth is coming to an end, so say goodbye to your families.”  

        My heart drops to my stomach. I just don't get it. After 180 million years of our world being perfectly fine, it’ll just end? We have had mostly good lives and now it’s ending? I am furious. I don't want to be forced to leave my family because of some stupid asteroid. 

        Mama gathers our whole family. Dinosaurs from Mama’s side of the family come, as well as Papa’s.    Even some close friends come. Some of us are scared, and others are ready. 

        An announcement comes on. “Attention all dinosaurs, the asteroid will be hitting earth soon. Make sure you have said all of your goodbyes.” I break out into a broad sob. I am not ready for this to happen to me. Everyone clusters together into a big huddle, and I can tell reality is starting to get to them; everyone is scared now. 3..2..1! BOOM.  

        I hide under Mama, staying as close as I can.  Blinding light and searing heat washes over me like a tsunami.  It seems to end as quickly as it started. 

        Mama starts to fall, and I quickly squirm out from underneath her. She falls to the ground with a thud.

        “Mama, wake up!” I nuzzle against her, but it’s no use. “Please wake up, please, Mama!” I lay down next to her, sobbing.

        “H-hello,” I turn, another young dinosaur around my age looking at me. Her face is contorted with pain and wet. She must have lost her Mama and Papa too.

        “H-hi,” I manage to say through my sniffling. 

        “We need to go,” she tells me. “We have to gather food.” 

        “Okay,” I say, my voice still trembling. We walk for what seems like decades. The earth is left of nothing but dust and clay, leaving the air translucent. We dig through the clay together, only finding a rare earth metal called iridium. I would normally be stoked to find such rare material, but I start feeling weak, and my mind spins. I back away, covering it partially with the clay. “We should go.”

        “Why,” she asks.  I don't want to scare her after what we had gone through in the previous days.

        “It’s nothing, I just think we should try to find water.” 

        “Okay,” she says with a sarcastic tone. We travel for hundreds of miles, finding nothing but clay. What used to be trees has turned into a musty powder filling up the air. What used to be the beautiful grass had turned into fires. A dizzy feeling runs around my head, but I have to power through. 

        “I never got your name,” I smile. She smiles back.

        “My name’s Emmy!” she tells me.

        “I'm Benji!” We both smile. I love her. She makes me feel happy even after losing all I’ve ever had. I noticed a small shimmer out of her pocket. “What's that?” I anxiously ask her.

        “Oh! This? This is a little piece of iridium from before! 

        “Emmy, put that down.” My voice trembles.

        “What?” she asks.

        “I'll explain later. But just please get that away.” She throws it into the abyss of fires. A sigh of relief and an alarmed feeling have shaken me in the same moment. 

        She throws the iridium into the fire. Idiot. The fire has expanded. A ring of fire surrounds us. It seems as if she has passed out from fear. Sh**. I lie down with her in my arms in a tight hug as the fire caves in on us. A tingling feeling washes over me as I start to burn. Suddenly, everything goes blank.



-Hailey T.




4 comments:

  1. I like how you have a lot of strong figurative language, It’s really noticeable. It makes your whitening stand out more and I can really understand what you are whitening about. The concept is great to it was so nice and different.

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  2. Hailey, I liked how you had a lot of sensory language in your story. She writes about when the dinosaurs were killed by an asteroid, it's a sad story but very interesting. The way she used the sensory language makes me feel like I am with the dinosaurs, how she describes how they look when the elders see the asteroid help’s me imagine what they look like. In paragraph ten Hailey writes “ … The Elder’s dark green face’s turned into a bright pink, like a perfectly luscious strawberry.”

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  3. Hailey’s writing shows the action happening. For example, “3..2..1! BOOM.” The onomatopoeia really showed the readers what was going on, the action. The way you used a lot of dialogue also helped the reader understand what time period this was going on and carried the story far along.

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  4. Hailey uses a lot of figurative language to bring her story to life. One example of when she demonstrates this is in the line, “Blinding light and searing heat washes over me like a tsunami.” I like this line because she uses a simile, which helps me imagine the scene of the asteroid hitting the world. She also says, “The elder’s dark green faces turned into a bright pink, like a perfectly luscious and plump strawberry.” I love how she used a simile to bring to life how red the elder’s faces are.

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