All was calm, all was good
Till fate stepped in
Taking it all
One jump
SPLASH
That’s it
Everyone else was fine
One jump
SPLASH
Into the freezing, blue water
Till I felt nothing
Nothing at all
There were whispers
Then loud talking
Screaming, shrieking and shouting
As if an alarm went off
I am in peace instead of a hospital
I am alone instead of friends and family surrounding
I am in no pain
I wish I was a chicken
I wish I backed out
But I was between hawk and buzzard
I’d rather be called a wimp
I’d rather be called a baby
Than be missed by all
We all wish we could take something back
But what’s set in stone
Stays in stone, forever
-Keely McCullough
Great poem Keely! I like how you used refrain in several spots to help tell your lesson. "I wish I was a chicken, I wish I backed out." "I'd rather be called a wimp, I'd rather be called a baby."
ReplyDeleteThis is a great poem! This poem made me think about the advise and it brought me thinking about what it was it telling me. I really like your line: " We all wish we could take something back but what's set in stone stays in stone, forever." This made me think that everything I do makes an impact on someone or something and we should think twice about our actions.
ReplyDeleteYour use of poetic devices throughout this poem was very good. When you used onomatopoeia it really helped emphasize the mood. You also used alliteration when you said screaming shrieking and shouting.Overall a very good job and amazing work with poetic devices
ReplyDeleteGreat job! You did a very good job on getting the Central idea and message across while making the readers think. I got the central idea of regret from the linesI’d rather be called a wimp
ReplyDeleteI’d rather be called a baby
Than be missed by all
I got the message of don't take life threatening decisions. We don't always know the outcome of what will happen.