Deep breaths
1
2
3
In
1
2
3
Out
I can hear the crowd cheering
as if their lives depended on it
The announcer is saying our
names one at a time
“...and in Lane 4, Stella
Trickett!”
I can hear all of my
teammates cheering
and the parents going crazy
in the stands,
their support uplifts me
as if there is some kind of
pressure building inside of me,
I am ready
I’ve got this
I will win
BEEP! The shotgun of a buzzer
goes off
The water feels as cold as an
old corpse
A feeling,
a surging energy,
a pulse
rampages through my body
as if I were an electric
circuit
I am elegant,
I am powerful,
I am flying through the water
as if it were air
I turn,
propelling,
off the crumbling, cracking,
collapsing wall
I am halfway there
I can feel the pain in my
body
as if there was a siamese
python constricting my stomach
It simultaneously strikes,
Its sensation stabs,
It tries to sapp each
stroke
My lungs crave for air,
My legs are seizing up,
My drive pushes on
I will not let pain defeat
me,
I went to every practice,
I endured every hard set,
I did the work while other
people didn’t
I want to win
I need to win
I am not going to let the
water stop me,
I am not going to let the
pain stop me,
I am not going to let my mind
stop me
I see the goal
The focus intensifies
The desire builds
The pain fades
I worked for this,
I deserve this,
I sacrificed for this,
I will have this race
Thud
1:59
Elation,
A new best time,
Euphoria,
A new record,
Ecstatic,
I won
Commitment,
But I must keep working,
Devotion,
I can’t stop here,
Dedication,
I must improve.
-Stella Trickett
Wow, really well done! You are very consistent throughout the poem with your mood. Your devotion to winning the race never fades, even when you were in enormous pain. I see this especially when you say "My lungs crave for air, My legs are seizing up, My drive pushes on". Great job!
ReplyDeleteOne lesson I have learned from this is to don't stop what your doing and don't let your mind tell you to stop. You fight against it and you tell yourself you got this even though you have pain you can fight though it and never stop to accomplish your goals . One textual fact is that "I am not going to let the water stop me, I am not going to let the pain stop me, I am not going to let my mind stop me I see the goal"
ReplyDeleteHey Stella your poem was really, good i liked your central ideal of trying hard and and not giving up. when you said "I am ready I’ve got this I will win".
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I like the way you put your central idea of striving into words. The way that you said "My lungs crave for air", and "I can feel the pain in my legs" are great ways to show her struggles. But then how you followed it up with "I will not let pain defeat me" shows that she must push through it and will succeed, gives a great message of pushing though the hard stuff.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Stella! From the poem, I inferred the central idea as determination. I came to this conclusion from the line "I am not going to let the water stop me" and its following lines in the sixteenth stanza. The message I determined was that people that work hard and never give up will ultimately reach their goals. This is evidenced by "Elation" and "Euphoria" in the second to last stanza. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDelete