Growing up is full of new
experiences, good and bad. We go on living our lives, keeping calm and trusting
ourselves all the time. I had to learn this in a real life situation after
being at home for almost five months.
The second half of sixth
grade was coming to an end, but for remote students we were able to get the
chance to come to school to have a picnic. It had been beckoning me ever since
I got permission to go. Seeing all my friends while playing various games after
a period of meticulous solitude and screens was going to be amazing!
Promptly hopping out of
the car, my little Harry Potter bag was bouncing on my back as I sped across
the scorching, black pavement to the front of the school. Apprehensive, I
walked over to one of the red benches and sat down, jumping immediately up as a
searing pain shot through the back of my leg like getting stung by a bee, the
Harry Potter bag getting flung around even more. Exasperated as the pain went
away, I tenderly sat down, careful not to let my bare skin touch the scorching
hot metal. I had no clue what would happen next.
As I pulled out my phone
from my bag, looking at my notifications I saw that I had two random calls from
the same number. I deleted the calls and number, following the same thorough
procedure I taught myself. After shutting off my phone and putting it away, I
started to talk with my friends. Three minutes later, I was called for by my
teacher. Someone was asking to see me, although I didn't know who. I soon
spotted a cop car but wasn't sure why it was there. My heart started pumping as
I thought I was in trouble. I jogged over, asking what had happened.
"Did you call the
police?" the female police questioned. After replying with a hesitant no,
she went on to tell me they got a call, continuing by discussing that they
traced it to my phone. I was in hysteria, holding back tears, thinking I was
going to be in plenty of trouble. It took time to process what had happened due
to the fact I had never done something like this before. I remembered watching
this one random video, recalling what it said. I took a deep breath and asked,
"Can I look at something real quick?" As she shook her head yes, I
went into my bag to grab my phone, looking for some way for the police to be
contacted.
That was when I realized
that my phone was on, but I turned it off. I thought back to all the times that
my phone could've been thrown around in my filled bag, turning it on. My heart
rate started slowing down as I thought I had come to a reasonable conclusion.
As I focused on trying to keep calm, I explained what I thought had happened:
"my phone was in my bag along with other stuff; it could have set off the
SOS dial." Nodding in agreement, the police went on to tell me that since
there was a call it was necessary to see what happened and make sure everything
was okay. After they said goodbye, I was able to have an amazing rest of the
day.
There were a lot of
emotions running through my head during those five minutes. Looking back at
that moment, it was the first time that I really had to trust myself and keep
calm in a really stressful situation where you didn't know what would happen.
Stressful situations are a part of life, and being able to quickly take a step
back and reset your mindspace makes all the difference.
-Abbylyn S.
This writing piece has noteworthy greatness, as it has techniques that set an example of intriguing narrative, makes the reader react to the events and Abbylynn’s emotions, relatable story, and a valuable lesson that can be applied to my own life. One notable technique seen is how Abblynn writes her emotions. She uses words like “hysteria” and quotes, “There were a lot of emotions running through my head during those five minutes.” Due to using these detailed and realistic techniques it causes reactions like worrying and shock. The reason why we get reactions is because we all have experienced the emotions that Abblynn wrote. But the reason why we have relatable emotions is because Abbylyn’s story is relatable. I mean we all haven’t called the police by accident, but we all have been in awkward situations. One lesson that can be learned from this personal narrative is that sometimes dealing with tough situations can make you stronger mentally, socially, or physically. This line “Stressful situations are a part of life, and being able to quickly take a step back and reset your mindspace makes all the difference,” really supports this idea. I can apply this to my own life by staying calm in stressful situations. Great job, Abbylynn S! I hope your historical fiction will be great like your narrative!
ReplyDeleteAbbylynn S.
ReplyDeleteI really understand how you felt in this stressful situation because I myself was put into a similar situation. If I were in that situation then I would do something very similar to what you did. I very much agree with your message too, stepping back and resetting your mind really does make a difference. “Stressful situations are a part of life, and being able to quickly take a step back and reset your mindspace makes all the difference.” This line really tells me what the message was that you were trying to say. I think you did a really good job.
I like how you talked about how there are challenges that block your goal. I can relate. I had a goal of running an 8 minute 15 second mile. Everyday I would have to face the challenge of getting up and running miles to train. I finally achieved my goal, and like you said, it was an amazing feeling. I also like how you talk about a goalies point of view, like when you said, “One frustrating thing goalkeepers dislike about this is to watch the opponents pass to someone that had been called out previously. In one sentence you wrote, “Being a goalkeeper in soccer is a thrilling ride of ups and downs.” This is really good because it makes me feel like a goalie making saves and getting scored on. I can just imagine a goalie being sad when they get scored on, but then are happy when they make a save, and I think this is a great example to show that. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used various techniques to enhance your story and make it more engaging. One of which was using advanced vocabulary to more accurately describe things to the reader. A major example of you doing this is in the line(s), “I sped across the scorching, black pavement to the front of the school. Apprehensive, I walked over to one of the red benches and sat down, jumping immediately up as a searing pain shot through the back of my leg like getting stung by a bee.” Not only did you use advanced vocabulary words such as “scorching” and “apprehensive,” you also used figurative language by comparing the pain in your leg with a bee’s sting. Overall, great job on your story.
ReplyDeleteI thought that all the sensory language and really descriptive words made the story a lot more engaging and alive. I was sort of surprised when you said that the police came. I can definitely relate to thinking you’re in trouble. I learned from this that you should try to remain calm and keep your composure when in stressful situations. I’ve had moments where I’ve been stressed out but kept my calm. I think the C.I. is stress and the line is, “I was in hysteria, holding back tears, thinking I was going to be in plenty of trouble.” I really liked the story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteAbbylynn, I personally feel engaged with this personal narrative, because there are so many twists and turns throughout the plot that make my reaction even better. I could relate to when you said, “Jumping immediately up as the searing pain shot through the back of my leg like getting stung by a bee.” The Farnsworth benches are always super hot as the school year is approaching an end! Another point in your story I did not know how to react to was when the cop had asked you, “Did you call the police?” Your story was fantastic Abbylynn because you had so many relatable twists and turns in your plots for me to react to.
ReplyDelete