Chapter One
The town of Lake Placid, New
York was quiet, the snow raining from the sky ever so gently, the cold winds
whipping me in the face as a shiver fell down my spine.
The crunch of the snow felt ever so fake
until, RING, RING, RING.”
The alarm buzzing in my ears,
my fists tighten the grasp I have around my pillow. I smacked the alarm a
couple of times. I drew my eyes up and over at the time; it read 7:45. I then
looked over at the calendar that was barely hanging on the wall by a very slim
piece of tape: USA TEAM TRYOUTS TODAY!
A heavy sigh slid through my
lips. I could already feel the pressure building. The tryouts began at noon,
I thought as I slid on some sneakers, pouring the very last of the Honey Nut
Cheerios into my bowl, devouring the sweet crunchy cereal. I cleaned my dish
and put it aside. I heard a trickle of rain splash on the roof. It made me
think of all the possibilities that could happen over the course of this one
day. Would this be a waste of time? “There’s probably going to be better
players there,” I had observed while packing up my gear.
All these thoughts made me
think down on myself, but hope was still simmering inside me. Looking at the
clock once again, it read 10:30 A.M. I put the heavy bag in the trunk of my used
Nissan 200SX. I stuck the key in the ignition, and the engine roared. Soon I
was down the street and off to the rink.
The chilled air hit my face as
I stepped through the doors. The waiting room was packed.
People were lining the walls
waiting to get signed in. “Is this the end of the line?” I asked another guy.
“For sure,” he said, letting
out a sigh that looked discouraged. A small frown grazed my lips. Soon I was
the last to get signed in
“Name,” the lady said, looking
exhausted.
“Lucas Smith.”
“Birth
date,” she said, writing something down on a sheet of paper.
“August 8th, 1961.”
She looked at me and gestured
to the locker rooms. I picked up my bag and walked into a hallway lined with
doors. I stepped into one, and thankfully, it wasn’t filled to the brim with
people. I took my seat, pulling out pieces of my gear one by one, putting them
on until I was fully suited.
“How do you think you’ll do?”
a man looking in his mid-20’s asked me.
“I have no idea,” I answered a
little startled but still thinking about the question.
“Okay, well the name’s Buzz,”
he remarked, gesturing his hand for a handshake.
“Buzz?” I asked, confused
about who would name their kid Buzz.
“Buzz Schneider,” he told me
with a small smile.
“The name’s Lucas Smith,” I
replied; he nodded.
A whistle had blown, and
people were squished, shuffling through the tight hallway. It felt like I was
in a tin of sardines. The ice was smooth, and the air was cool. I walked onto
the ice as many others did the same. To stretch my legs, I skated around the
rink a few times. A blonde mid-30’s looking man stepped onto the ice. A whistle blew; the tryouts had officially
begun.
-Elena D.
“I then looked over at the calendar that was barely hanging on the wall by a very slim piece of tape: USA TEAM TRYOUTS TODAY!” Is a great example of an allusion, and this is because I instantaneously made the connection to the US vs USSR hockey game which I loved learning about this year in health. I also Loved how you used the figurative language in the line too. The way you described the calendar barely hanging on really helped me paint the picture of your setting.
ReplyDeleteThe story came alive as soon as I read the introduction when you said, “the snow raining from the sky ever so gently, the cold winds whipping me in the face as a shiver fell down my spine.” I pretended I was in that position. The figurative language that I really like was when you said, “the cold winds whipping me in the face as a shiver fell down my spine.”
ReplyDeleteWhile reading this I like how you made an allusion to the 1980 winter olympics by making the main character have a conversation with Buzz Schneider. This allusion isn’t something that most people would immediately notice, but if you search Buzz Schneider you will find out that he played in the 1980 winter olympics.
ReplyDeleteNice job writing this piece, Elena, I think the central idea is hope, a example of this is, ¨All these thoughts made me think down on myself, but hope was still simmering inside of me.¨ Also when you use figurative language like ¨A whistle had blown, and people were squished, shuffling through the tight hallway. It felt like was in a tin of sardines.¨ it makes story come to life.
ReplyDelete