If only I could go back,
and change my miserable mistakes.
If only I didn’t change my looks.
Wear clothes that were
expensive, extravagant, and elegant.
Styles that were distasteful to me.
If only I said what I really thought,
instead of nodding my head aimlessly
like a bobblehead all day long.
If only I tried to stand up against
my friends.
Getting rid of the
hurtful, horrible horrendous words
that were spoken like daggers towards
people.
If only I stopped bullying this girl,
just so I could fit in with everyone
else,
just so I could be cool.
If only I didn’t kick her around like
a soccer ball.
Toying with her mind and thoughts,
my words embedded in her brain.
If only I had a chance,
to change my actions.
To talk to her with
compassionate, considerate, caring
words.
If only I could be there to stop her.
Stop her from making an immense
decision she shouldn’t make,
An extreme decision of life or death.
If only I spared her life,
instead of following people’s
unimportant words.
If only I stayed true to myself,
if only I was really me.
If only I was not afraid to be
myself,
maybe just maybe
I could’ve been a light in the
darkness around me.
-Sydney Elmore
This is a beautiful poem. I like how you told the reader what actually happened and what you wish happened. I think the central idea would be regrets, A line to support this would be "If only I could go back and change my miserable mistakes."
ReplyDeleteGood job! I like the message of your story. I think the message is don't change who you are just to fit in with everyone else. In the line "If only I stayed true to myself, if only I was really me" I like how you incorporated the message very well and clearly. I also liked how you made it understandable for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem it really made me think about what people might do to fit in to a friend group. The mood of your poem is sorrow. You showed this by saying "getting rid of the hurtful, horrible, horrendous words that were spoken like daggers towards people." These words are describing words that are being spoken to people. This tells me that the words that were being said to people and they might have hurt them or made them sad.
ReplyDeleteYour poem was awesome and sad at the same time,amazing job the detail was also great.I loved how you set the mood with alliteration like "if only I" it really helped me get an idea of this poem and what it was about!I thought the most powerful line you had was "if only I tried to stand up to my friends" amazing job.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is amazing! By saying "my miserable mistakes" the mood becomes more serious, and there is an emphasis on how horrible the mistakes that you made were. You also used figurative language when referring to being a light in the darkness. The central idea of this poem is self acceptance. I got this central idea from the line "just so I could fit in". The lesson that I developed from this poem is that you should always be yourself and trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong, like bullying that girl, then you should trust your conscience.
ReplyDelete