¨Being brave doesn't mean we have no fear - it means we refuse to be overcome by it¨-Steven Furtick. This is a lesson that I have learned over the years from having multiple surgeries. I have also learned that no matter how bad things are someone will have it worse. It is important to grow from your experiences and be thankful for the things you have in life.             

It was towards the end of my sixth grade school year, and unlike most kids, I was not looking forward to summer vacation because I was having surgery. I was having surgery on my nose because I was born with a cleft lip and palate. The surgeries before the last two I did not remember because I was too young. But these last two surgeries I can remember like it was yesterday. Do you know the feeling when you have a cavity, and the dentist drills your tooth for first time, and the second time you get your tooth drilled it's a lot worse? That's how it was for me because I knew and expected that this was going to be bad. So leading up to the surgery I was thinking a lot about the surgery and the recovery. Thoughts ran through my head:  why me?  This is not fair!  Why me out of all people?  Why do I have to have so many surgeries?  Why was I born with a cleft lip and palate?

Leading up to my surgery, I would feel my lip quivering as I was going to bed. I would try to fight the tears, but I was petrified. The tears would drizzle down my face like rain running down a window. After my last surgery, I could not play any contact sports for two and a half months. My face was swollen and numb, which made it hard to speak. My face was so swollen that for a couple of days I looked like an alien.  I was drowsy, sleepy and did not feel like doing anything for the whole week after surgery. While everyone was enjoying summer vacation, I was stuck in my grandma's house.  I was starving because I could not eat or drink anything the night before that surgery. I could only drink clear liquids for two days after surgery. Then I could only have liquids for the rest of the week. So I was very fearful about the upcoming surgery because I had my last recovery in my mind. My doctor, parents, and everyone that I talked to about my surgery said that this would not be as bad as my previous surgery, but I had the last recovery in my mind, so I was very apprehensive about the whole thing.

The day before my surgery all that I could think about was my surgery. My dad and grandpa tried to make me laugh, but I was too solem. After dinner I slowly walked up the beige carpeted stairs to go to bed. I was having trouble sleeping because I was uneasy. The stress got to me, and I felt my stomach churn like the gears on a clock.  My grandma came up stairs to make me feel better. When I am feeling frightened or nervous my grandma always knows what to say to cheer me up, so after our discussion about how I was going to be fine, I was able to go to sleep and rest.

It was the day of the surgery, and remembering what my grandma had said, I got up and went to the hospital.  My mom and dad reassured me that everything would be fine.  First we went to the waiting room and waited. Then after sitting and sitting we went to another waiting room and waited.  After  two waiting rooms, I went to pre op when they realized I was in the wrong area, the adult area.  Then I was moved to the kids´ area of the hospital. I  started crying from all the suspense and waiting.  My mind was wandering and imagining the worst. I got so worked up before the surgery even happened.

Getting into the surgery took so long; it felt like the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes to hours. Then as I walked into the operating room with my mom by my side, I became very panicked and furious. In my last surgery they wheeled me in. In my opinion, wheeling the patient into the room is much better than having them walk in. I was standing at the door of the operating room, bawling. After the doctor calmed me down I walked over to the operating table; I was put to sleep.

When I woke up, I had a hard, dull, white bandage on my nose. I could feel the packing up my nose.  It would slide a little if I moved my face a weird way. I felt lethargic and did not feel like doing anything.  As my parents walked through the thick brown door they saw me making weird faces. My dad asked if I was okay with a look of worry in his eyes. I told him I was just testing out the waters. I also told him my face was sore, but other than that I was fine. I could tell that this was going to be a lot different from my last surgery. After watching some TV and taking a quick power nap on my white cotton hospital bed, the doctor came in and told my parents that I could eat and drink whatever I wanted when I was ready.  I felt like I had won the lottery!  No waiting to drink or eat what I wanted! I was instantly filled with extreme amusement and prosperity.

So I learned from this experience that you have to trust your friends and family because they only want what is best for you. In life, you have to learn to face your fears and try to be brave.      

-Ryan DeSaccia