I felt shivers go down my
back as I walked down this dusty and reeking hall way. I clutched my books
tight to my chest like they were my prized possessions. I stared at the floor
so I wouldn’t make any eye contact with anyone, but if I did it might be the last
time I see the light of day. I walked down this hallway five days a week, and
every single time it just got worse. Lockers slamming, people talking, teachers
yelling, and the sound of sneakers sliding across the floor. I tried not to
scream as all of this commotion was going on because if I did I could just very
well be the next victim.
I saw a lot of things
happen at my high school, some good and some bad. The good is that I saw people
with bright faces and smiles so big they go from ear to ear. Unfortunately, the
bad is really horrendous. People shouting, people with tears streaming down
their faces like a waterfall, and people covering their faces with their books,
trying to hide from the terrifying world that lies on the other side of their
books.
I was very aware of all
these things happening around me, and I wrote them down in my black and white
composition notebook whenever I thought something was important. Once I saw a
kid who looked depressed and had his hand over his stomach. He was watching all
the other kids around him eat, wishing he too could have a scrumptious meal in
front of him. But he soon looked away and whimpered when he saw nothing was
sitting in front of him. A few moments later a boy came over and sat next to him
and slid half of a sub in front of him. The boy soon lit up and had that huge
smile that went from one ear to the next. They started to chat and soon became
friends.
The little things went in
my notebook because that’s really what makes a big difference in a person's
life. The little things make you have that moment where you just smile. Some
people made fun of me for writing things in my notebook, and they called me a
freak whenever they saw me staring at them and not blinking for long periods of
time, observing their actions. Sometimes they whispered things about me when I
walked by them, like they thought I couldn’t hear them. They whispered things
like, “That’s the abnormal kid, Emma.” Or they whispered, “That’s the kid who
stares at everyone like we’re pieces of art.’’ You know the saying, sticks and
stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you; well that’s one
hundred percent false. Words do hurt, and they make you feel self-conscious.
That’s why I always had my head down, staring at my feet. I felt like if I did
then no one would notice me, and they’d just pretend like I was on a whole
different planet. Sometimes that was more important to me than having someone
notice me and taking a chance of them saying something mean.
When I reached my locker
that was located in the freshmen wing, I threw off my backpack and coat and just
shoved it all in my locker. I quickly took a hold of what I needed for my first
core and slammed my locker shut. I rushed to home base to try to get there as
quickly as I could so I didn’t have to run into anyone. When I was trying to
get to my destination, just minding my own business, trying not to run into
anyone, these seniors in high school rounded the corner of the building and
just came running towards me like big, huge, bulls who had enormous horns
sticking right out of their heads. They never slowed down. They were angry
bulls who had just spotted the red flag. They came right for me and snagged my
composition notebook right out the grasp of my hands.
“Hey, Jack, I wonder what’s
inside?’’ asked one of the seniors.
“Stop!” I murmured.
“What did you say? I
couldn’t hear you; did you give me your consent to read it. Don’t mind if I do,’’
said one of the seniors, flipping through my notebook. He landed on this one
page that was very private and was only supposed to be seen by my eyes.
“Quit it!” I bellowed,
trying to reach for my notebook. I could see the composition notebook in the
senior’s hand. I got ready to find the strength buried beneath me to jump and surge
toward my notebook. I bent my knees and threw my hands backwards. I was going
to reach my notebook. I let go of the fire that was heating up inside me and
leaped into the air, soaring higher and higher, getting closer and closer. I
was a hand length away from reaching my notebook, but the senior was one step
ahead of me. He jerked the notebook out of my reach, and I came crashing down.
I collapsed onto the ground, and the seniors started to laugh. My face got red,
and my bones started to ache from the fall. I failed to obtain my composition
notebook, and I was really starting to feel the waterworks trying to break
through my eyelids. I pushed the tears back because I was not going to let them
win. The seniors had just gotten started.
“The boy with the curly
hair,’’ said the senior who started to read from my notebook, “was giving his
food to his friend. The friend had no food to eat and was very thankful that he
had a friend like the boy with the curly hair.” I kept fighting to get my
notebook back, but I had no luck. The people in the hallway started to walk
towards us, and they crowded around us really close. There were a lot of people,
and they were just staring at me and giggling. None of them had the leadership
or courage to help me get my notebook back and stand up to these bullies. This
situation had me fuming. My face started to get red, and I started to gnash my
teeth.
“Her face is the color of
a tomato. It looks like she’s really furious, I think you should stop reading
now,” offered one of the other seniors. He was right; I was mad, I had my hands
in fists and I was ready to pounce at them like a cat with sharp claws.
“Nah, I just got started,”
contended the senior holding my notebook.
“Please, stop, give it
back!” I screamed, but it only caused more commotion.
The senior continued to
read from my notebook, and this time he raised his voice for the whole crowd to
hear, like they were all the way across the state.
The first bell rang, and
the crowd dialed down a little bit, but the seniors were still standing right
in front of me. I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t leave without my
notebook, but somehow I had to get out of this messy situation.
Then, all of a sudden, I
could hear a faint sound that was coming from the end of the hallway. I turned
around, and I could see a person running towards me. I didn’t know what to do.
Was he running to help me with the bullies or was he just late to class? I held
onto the first thought of him coming to help me, but then that quickly faded,
and I started to resign when he flew right passed me. But all of a sudden, a
figure was running towards me again. I could see this person very clearly. He
was a tall and skinny boy with brown and curly hair. He looked very familiar,
and then I realized that he was the boy that gave his food to his friend. He
then suddenly stopped right in front of the seniors, making a loud squeaking
noise with his shoes in the process. He immediately reached up and snatched my
notebook and then suddenly took off without even saying a single word.
“Hey, wait up, that’s my
notebook!!” I yelled, running after him. He turned a corner and then headed up
the stairs. It felt like I was playing tag, so I was really out of breath. The
guy finally slowed down and he came to a full stop.
“Why, did you take, my
notebook, and run?’’ I asked in between breaths.
“Wow, not even a thank
you. I saved you from those bullies,’’ the guy said, not even breathing
heavily.
“True, you did save me,
so I guess that deserves a thank you. But you still made me chase you to get my notebook back,” I stated, a little frustrated.
“Yeah, I did, but only so
the seniors won’t follow us,” he said with a very clever follow up.
“Okay, makes sense… can I
have my notebook back now?” I asked.
“Only on one condition,’’
he said with a smile. “You make me an obligation that you sit with me at lunch.”
“Deal.”
When lunchtime came I
looked for the guy with the curly hair that saved me from those seniors. It was
really hard to find him because the lunch room was always so crowded, so it was
like finding a needle in a haystack. Good thing he stood up and signaled me
over to where he was sitting, because if he didn’t, it would have taken me
hours to find him. I walked over with my head down because I knew that the word
had spread about the seniors reading from my notebook like when the flu season
comes along and suddenly no one is in school. Even with my head down I could
still hear the whispers. I finally made my way over to the table, and I sat
down with my hands over my ears.
“What are you doing?”
asked the boy with the curly hair, tapping on my shoulder. I took my hands off
my ears and looked at him.
“I’m using my hands to
cover my ears to drown out all of the bad things that people are saying about
me, and I’m trying to focus on the positive things. It’s kind of like how a
race horse uses blinders to concentrate on the route it has to run.”
“Well that’s…
interesting. Hey, can I ask you a question? Why didn’t you bring a lunch?” he
asked, concerned. “It’s bad to skip meals.”
“I just forgot, it’s no
big deal,” I asserted.
“Well it is, you can have
some of my lunch, I insist,” he said, pushing half of his sub closer to me.
“Wow, thanks, that’s the
nicest thing anyone has ever done for me before,” I announced, taking a bite of
his turkey and cheese sub that tasted like heaven just erupted in my mouth.
“No problem,” he said as
he took a bite of his sandwich.
“Hey, what’s your name?”
I exclaimed.
“I’m Jack,” he responded.
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Emma,” I replied.
After lunch I said goodbye to Jack and thanked him for sharing his meal, and
then I went on with my day.
When the school day was over it was time to head
home. I walked out of the building with my head up high and not caring if I saw
those seniors again. I was taking my time because my house wasn’t that far
away, so I wasn’t in any rush. I found a bench that was on my way home, and I
sat down and started to write. I wrote about all the little important things
that happened that day, for I had a lot to say.
-Isabella Walsh
This story shows the importance of friendship and kindness. The central idea of this story is kindness. The protagonist writes down the kindness she views throughout the day. Another character shares his meal with her and sticks up to her. He helps her out when she really needed it.The central idea of this story is kindness. The protagonist writes down the kindness she views throughout the day. Another character shares his meal with her and sticks up to her. He helps her out when she really needed it. In the text it says "he stood up and signaled me over to where he was sitting, because if he didn’t, it would have taken me hours to find him" In this part the boy is inviting Joana to sit with him so she has a friend. I think the lesson in this is that words and actions affect people. In the text it says "You know the saying, stick and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you; well that’s one hundred percent false." This means that everything you do affects other people. This was a very good and detailed story.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteA technique you used in the story was sensory language, "Lockers slamming, people talking, teachers yelling, and the sound of sneakers sliding across the floor." and another such as, "I felt shivers go down my back as I walked down this dusty and reeking hall way."
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! I did recognize an original plot, which is bullying, yet you made it seem very unique to all others. There are many bullying stories out in the world, but I have to admit, yours was one of the most interesting. I learned that although it may not seem as much, whatever you do can have an impact on people. Whether it's something small as sharing your lunch or something bad like standing idly by as you watch someone getting picked on. The line, "The little things make you have that moment where you just smile," really brought out the central idea and theme of this story. You also supported it with the line, "The boy soon lit up and had that huge smile that went from one ear to the next." The curly dude shared only a piece of his sub with the boy, yet it brought a smile and nourished new friendship. Most times, we look at the bigger things, such as donating millions of dollars to charity or donating your blood and organs to people in need. But, we forget to look at the smaller things which keep the world together in place. We all can do little things in our life. All it takes it some kindness.
ReplyDeleteYour story is very good. I liked it because it was very engaging. A lesson I learnt from your story is to think positive and not give up easily. I also liked your use of sensory language. One of the best lines was "When I was trying to get to my destination, just minding my own business, trying not to run into anyone, these seniors in high school rounded the corner of the building and just came running towards me like big, huge, bulls who had enormous horns sticking right out of their heads." I really enjoyed reading this sentence a lot because I really knew what the main character felt like. This is a unique story and I loved the way you expressed the central idea.
ReplyDeleteIn this piece there was a lot of really good detail with some sensory language like when you said "People shouting, people with tears streaming down their face like a waterfall, and people covering their faces with their books, trying to hide from the terrifying world that lies on the other side of their books." In this sentence you used a lot of detail with sensory language saying how it was like a waterfall with a tear.
ReplyDeleteYou had a lot of good details and punctuation. You used a lot of figurative language. He then suddenly stopped right in front of the seniors, making a loud squeaking noise with his shoes in the process. He immediately reached up and snatched my notebook and then suddenly took off without even saying a single word. When you used this part it showed something that people did not expect to happen. Good story
ReplyDeleteIncredible story! You did an amazing job in including figurative language like when you wrote, " and I was ready to pounce at them like a cat with sharp claws." It showed the emotions the character was feeling. Wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteYour story has so much sensory language. I especially like the line, "The boy soon lit up and had that huge smile that went from one ear to the next." It helps me understand how happy the boy was.
ReplyDeleteThe story is amazing
ReplyDeleteit tells me that you should never be scared and heads down or negative
we should always be brave stand up heads up and think positive
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete