Working my way into
school slowly. Looking at the ugly brick detail on the outside of the school.
Cracking my music louder and louder. Wishing I could just leave. Opening my
ugly green locker that smells like dead fish. Going into first period is the worst
way to start my day. The room always smells like rotten eggs. No one looks at me. No one talks to me. No
one realizes I'm alive. My teacher always asks me if I’m ok, but I always lie
because I don’t want to have to explain what’s wrong. So I just nod my head and
act like I’m ok. But I never am.
Ughh, it is time for
first period. All I hear is the gossip everyone says. There are the two groups
of people. One is the gossips. I swear all they do is talk. But there “leader”
is the most annoying person in the group. Her name is Kylie. Even her name is
annoying.
The other group is the
people that don’t give a damn about school. They just sit in class and don't do
anything, so they look at the blank postery walls. Only some people in my class
actually do work. But the worst part is that our teacher that doesn't care what
we do. She just sits on her phone and gives us documents to read and questions
to answer. She sits in the ugly pink dress in the corner.
“All you need to sit your asses down and do
your work,” my teacher yells at us. We all are very shook. She was very angry
with us, but at the same time it was very good for our class.
Kylie is still
standing.
“Kylie, sit down now,
or I’m sending you to the office,” she says with a red face.
“Wow, for once you
actually said something to us,” Kylie whispers as she sits down.
“Now everyone shut up
and do your work.”
Everything flips after
that. No one talks. No one moves. We all don’t know what to do. It stays quiet
for the rest of the period. For once the
classroom is as silent as a ghost. You can hear a pin drop.
Now it’s passing time,
where the halls are crammed. Also that means bully me time. “Omg, what is she
wearing,” mudders some girl.
“I know, right, it's so
ugly, like her,” whispers another girl. Everywhere I go that is all I hear.
Lunch is my least
favorite part of my day. I have no one to sit with. All the tables get taken
up, so I eat my lunch in the bathroom everyday. The cafeteria is so small
anyways. No one ever notices I’m in the bathroom either. So I just eat in there
everyday.
Normally after lunch I
only have one period left, which is great. My last period is study hall, so I’m
always “happy” in that period. The teacher I have is very nice. Oh, but when
that bells rings I’m out. I’m always the happiest then because I get to go home
and talk to someone that actually cares about me, running to my room when I get
home.
Hey
Hey
Whats up
Nothing
really, how about you cutie
Just got home
from school
Fun
Yah
What you up to
tonight
Just planned
on talking to you
Oo I’m good
with that
Yay
How was your
day
Boring, how
about you
Boring because
I didn’t get to talk to you
Aww, your so
sweet
Thank you
hottie
“Honey, dinner’s ready,”
says my mom.
I got to go
eat dinner i'll be back soon
Ok bye ily
Ilyt
*Hours pass*
Hey, I’m back
Hey, now I got a question
What is it
Can I see that
perfect body of yours?
Sure
Yay
I send him a picture
and he screenshots it.
Why did you
screenshot i thought we had a deal with not screenshotting
Sorry babe, I
didn’t mean too
Are you sure?
Yes
Ok I trust you
ok
Good
Ok it's
getting kinda late i'm going to go to bed
Ok goodnight
hottie ily
Goodnight ilyt
Rolling out of bed to
check if he texted me, it is so dark I am blinded looking. But the first thing
I see is the picture I sent to him all over the internet. Everyone is
commenting on it.
Oh my god what a hoe
Why
would she do this
Nasty
What does she
thinks she is
This
is the nastiest thing I have ever seen
This is so much more. I
don’t know what to do. I think going to school is going to be so hard. But I
can't tell my mom because she will kill me. I just have to suck it up and go to
school.
“Ew, look at her, how
is she even in school?”
“She’s so gross.”
“What does she think
she is?”
That’s all I hear with
every move I make. For most of the day, I just sit and cry in the bathroom
because no cares about me. Honestly, I don’t have any reason to be alive. No
one cares. No one knows I am alive. No one sees me.
I have had enough; I
can’t stand being treated like this. I say, “bye, world.” I realize no one cares, so what is the point
of staying in a world that doesn’t like me? The only person that I thought “cares”
was my special guy, but I guess I was wrong.
-Ashleigh Francis
I really liked your story. I liked how you used different fonts and sizes for you texting your "special guy". I really thought your message didn't need to be explained because you thought it without teaching. I thought your lesson was to never give up. I thought your lesson was teaching someone that if you are down to never give up you always have people that love you and care about you. You had a great story that really had a great message that everyone can apply to their live.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you used mature vocabulary to desrcibe the situation and help the readers feel like they're in the story. It makes the story come to life and helps develop the characters. " Looking at the ugly brick detail on the outside of the school."
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ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job using sensory language such as, "Opening my ugly green locker that smells like dead fish," and "For once the classroom is as silent as a ghost," to describe the atmosphere of the school and the main character's opinion of the school and its occupants. I think the main message of this chapter is that the world is full of hatred, because the main character encounters lots of hatred throughout the chapter, such as the betrayal of her "special guy" who pretended to love her, and the constant gossiping of people about her, such as “Omg, what is she wearing,” and “I know, right, it's so ugly, like her.” The line "I realize no one cares, so what is the point of staying in a world that doesn’t like me," shows how the hatred of others hurts the main character.
ReplyDeleteI think the central idea could be about trust. In the writing the author's claims no one likes her accept this one person she really trusts. One quote from the story I think supports my central idea is when the person that promises it was an accident when they screen shot the picture she sent and then shared it on the internet. The author thought she could trust this person because she thought they actually cared. They turned out to be someone else that didn't actually care though. That's why I think the central idea could be not to trust people.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story. I think the central idea is thinking. If the character thought before sending that picture she wouldn't be in this situation. Then when she realizes at the end really makes the emotion at the end. The way you showed the text conversation really brings the story to life and shows the relationship between the two.
ReplyDeleteReally great story Ashleigh! I think the central idea could be hopelessness. The character feels like she has only one person left to talk to, who cares about her well being. But when she finds out that not even he cared enough about her to respect her privacy, that is the last straw. A line that supports this is: "I say, 'bye world.' I realize no one cares, so what is the point in staying in a world that doesn't like me? The only person I thought 'cares' was my special guy, but I guess I was wrong."
ReplyDeleteI really liked this story.I also liked how you used figurative language like "For once the classroom is as silent as a ghost." and "You can hear a pin drop.".
ReplyDeleteInteresting story. I could find the central idea very easy. I thought it was trust and finding the positives in life. An example is "I’m always the happiest then because I get to go home and talk to someone that actually cares about me". I also think that it was cool that lou changed the font when the people were texting.
ReplyDeleteThis story is so important and very realistic especially in the world we live in today where social media can either make or break us. A central idea can be security because in the story, the boy the main character talks to seems to be the only person she looks forward to talking to everyday. The line "I’m always the happiest then because I get to go home and talk to someone that actually cares about me, running to my room when I get home." proves how much she really trusts him. Her everyday life seems to be awful, including the criticism she faces everyday. The lesson we can clearly learn from this to surround ourselves with the people we trust, but we should be very careful in choosing those people. Overall, great story, Ashleigh.
ReplyDeletePhenomenal good Ashleigh. You had great sensory lanuage. My favorite line is "For once the classroom is as silent as a ghost,". It shows how weird it is to be in that class. I also really liked how toy devoped the characters. I could fell how sad your main character felt. Overall great job.
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ReplyDeleteI thought that this story showed good figurative language. A line I thought showed good figurative language was "For once the classroom is as silent as a ghost". This line showed figurative language because it showed that tha class room was silent as a ghost.
ReplyDeleteAshleigh, great job on this story. In your story, I think the central idea could be pain. Lines to support this central idea are, “The only person that I thought “cares” was my special guy, but I guess I was wrong.” and “I just sit and cry in the bathroom because no cares about me.” I think a lesson that can be learned from this is that life can be hard but everyone has something to live for even if you can’t see it yet. This can be applied to anyone’s life when they are in tough times.
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ReplyDeleteI liked how you used something that happens all the time in our school. Many people have to go through these type of things and you wrote about it which made a point. when you said, "Oh my god what a hoe" I immediately thought about how many times I have heard someone say that in our school. People don't realize what it can actually do to you when you say these types of things.