I would often come here. Back when I was
a young dragon I would just sit out on the grand, green, itchy grass just
watching the fairies fly around as the big bright sun would warm my whole body,
and I’d just lay there hoping my wishes would come true. I would never have
thought that someday I would have someone to share all of this with.
“Sarah, did you find a
spot yet?” asked Larry.
“No, not yet,” I
replied with a perplexed look, wondering if I should tell Larry the truth.
We sat down and began
to unpack our lunch. I gazed at the fairies and reminisced of times when I was
young. I never wanted to fully grow up and become a dragon. I knew everything would change. I just didn’t
know the change would be so grand.
As a matter of fact, I
desired to tell him right then and there.
I couldn’t take carrying around the weight of the lies I had been holding on to. Larry had always been very generous toward
me. I always thought about how he would never lie to me in the way I usually
did to him.
“What are you thinking
about right now?’’ he asked me as I stayed gazing at the fairies.
I stuttered as I tried to speak.
At that moment I was
given the chance to tell him what was on my mind, but instead I replied with
something along the lines of, “I’m just thinking about us and how life would
have been if we never met, or what if we met earlier. Do you think we would
have ended up in the same place that we are now together?”
Larry tensed up a
little bit as if he had been keeping a secret of his own; he didn’t know how to
respond.
We sat there in silence
for about a minute, and after that Larry began to relax. “I don’t know where I
would be right now if I hadn't met you, and I don’t want to think about it. I’m
just elated to be here with you,” Larry said in such a soothing voice, the type
of voice a caring father would use when calming down his child.
And for a moment it was
like everything around us turned black. It was as if this wasn’t reality. For a
moment I thought I had just been dreaming. All of a sudden, I snapped back to
what was happening, but instead of Larry being there it was two unknown people
trying to get back home, walking in the snow. I didn’t question any of this;
instead, I started walking with them. At that moment I had felt so safe and
secure. It was like I’d known those two people walking for so long, but I had
just seen them, and maybe this isn’t even reality, I thought. The two
people and I started walking and laughing together. I could tell they too were
dragons, but for some reason I panicked and started hitting the man. The girl
started giggling, and I calmed down. Now I could see everything around me; it’s
still all a blur, but I just wondered where Larry had gone.
I went back home with
the two strangers I met walking in the snow. They made me feel as if I had
known them for years, and I could talk to them about anything. We ate at the
house. It had this feel to it. And, oh, such a familiar feel but the type that’s
just indescribable. Not much happened; we ate, but I didn't eat much. I don’t
know why since I’m always hungry, but I guess I was just exhausted.
After eating I went up
into a bedroom I had dreamed about before. It was all like a memory, a memory
from when I was young. It was all so surreal, but I felt safe. I drifted off
into an amazing sleep, but by the time I woke up there I was again, sitting on
the grass eating my lunch with Larry. That’s when I knew I had to tell him the
truth.
-Mariana Cuevas-Ruiz
You had a lot of good descriptive language that really brought the story to life for example when you said "the grand,green, itchy grass."
ReplyDeleteWow, Mariana! This is a fantastic piece, so creative! I was not expecting you to turn the story around like that when you changed the scene to you walking in the snow. You described the emotions you were feeling so vividly, like in this sentence: " It was like I'd known these two people walking for so long, but I had just seen them, and maybe this isn't even reality." You also brought the setting to life with this sentence: "just watching the fairies fly around us as the big bright sun would warm my whole body."
ReplyDeleteGreat job Mariana, I really like the way you used descriptive language to bring you story to life for example when you said" the grand,green, itchy grass." and "the big bright sun would warm my whole body." I think the central idea is discourage because it says"I couldn’t take carrying around the weight of the lies I had been holding on to."
ReplyDeleteI really liked your piece. I liked the way you expressed your message and also the language you used. I think your message is always push through and work hard for what you do. “I don’t know where I would be right now if I hadn't met you, and I don’t want to think about it. I’m just elated to be here with you,” I think your piece really expressed great emotions as well.
ReplyDeleteMAriana,This made me laugh because (UKW) But, anyway I loved the techniques you had with the strong words, you also brought the story to life With the ways you were describing it. I thought the central idea was hallucination. I also thought the message was don't let your thoughts destroy your friendship.
ReplyDeletegood job!
Mariana I loved your piece it was so good. I though the message was don't let your thoughts destroy your friendship(s). The reason why I thought this was because of this line.". I always thought about how he would never lie to me in the way I usually did to him. “What are you thinking about right now?’’ he asked me as I stayed gazing at the fairies.I stuttered as I tried to speak." Then Sarah goes on and lie's about what she's thinking. Great story.
ReplyDelete